Heads it is: How the flip of a coin changes it all
by how-soon-is-now
Summary: What might have happened if Kirsty had chosen heads? STORY FINALLY COMPLETE!
1. Hasty Departure

Kirsty stirred, feeling the movement of the car suddenly ceasing.  She was in a powerful world of dreams; dreams of happiness, dreams of confusion, dreams of dread.  Gradually, she opened her eyes, and focused.  A moment of confusion, occurred, then a look at the face before her confirmed where she was.  With Kane.   Kane, who was so kind and warm, the only one who understood her.

"You let me fall asleep,"  said Kirsty dreamily.

"Yeah, I had to check the engine.  It should last for a while, " smiled Kane.

"I'll stay up and navigate, " she said decidedly.  Kirsty could hardly believe what she'd done.  She done some pretty wild things before this, but nothing could compare to running away with her boyfriend.  This was a first.  "Where we headed?"

"Dunno.  You decide."

"Got a coin?"  Kane passed her a coin, "OK, tails says we go inland, heads says we head up the east coast."  She flipped the coin.  Heads.  The East coast sounded pretty tempting.

"East Coast it is."

Kirsty couldn't help fall asleep during the long drive.  Kane repeatedly glanced at her.  He was in disbelief.  How could something so good happen to someone like him?  It defied his logic.  Kirsty had taught him a new way of living, of thinking.  She made him believe in himself.  She loved him.  Kane smiled.  He didn't think of the consequences.  Not yet.  He just concentrated on the moment, with Kirsty by his side and a long open road full of possibility ahead of him.


	2. A New Start

Kirsty awoke with a start.  They had arrived somewhere new.  There was a sign to her left, 'Holly Springs Caravan Park.'  It seemed pleasant enough, and right now Kirsty was dying for a wash so she could change her clothes.  Kirsty smiled at Kane.

"You must have been driving for hours.  Are we gonna stay here?"

"Yeah, it looks nice, but I dunno if we can afford it.  I only got 30 bucks."

"We can just go to the ATM and get some more."

"Yeah, well, we can't do that forever.  We're gonna have to find jobs."

"Maybe they'll know at the caravan park.  Let's go inside."

Kirsty and Kane got out of the car.  Kirsty saw the park through new eyes, it reminded her so much of her family.  A mum who she doubted would ever trust her again.  A father who would never look her in the eyes again.  Two sisters; one unforgiving of her deceit, the other unknowing of her choice.  She couldn't go back to them.  Her future was with Kane now.  A girl, blonde, of about Dani's age strolled towards them.

"Gidday," she said.  "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, " said Kane.  "We'd like to rent a caravan."

"Cool.  Just the two of you?'

"Yeah."

"I'll just get my Mum."  She retreated back into the house.  Kirsty held Kane's hand tighter.  If she weren't having so much fun, she might have felt guilt.  A woman, with short dark hair came to greet them.

"Hi, so glad you're interested in one of our caravans.  Number 6 is free at the moment, how long should I put you down for?"

"Um, we're not sure.  How much is it? " said Kane.

"$30 a night, you have to put down a one nights deposit if you don't know how long you're planning to stay."  Kane reluctantly gave her the $30, and signed a form.  

"You wouldn't happen to know where the town is from here?" asked Kirsty.

"Yeah, it's about a ten minute walk down that road, " the woman took the form from Kane.  "Okay, here are the keys to caravan 6, it's down there.  I'm Andrea by the way, just call in if you need anything. I hope you enjoy your stay."

They found their caravan, their new home.  The door was slightly stiff, but they'd manage, till they'd found a decent enough place to rent.  The interior while neither outstanding nor grim, had a cosy feel.    The main room had a stove, small fridge and well-equipped cupboards, with a floral sofa as centrepiece.  Hidden away were a simple bathroom, a cupboard and a bedroom, complete with double bed.  Kirsty collapsed onto the garishly patterned sofa, exhausted by the long journey.

"It's not bad, is it Kirst?'  said Kane. 

"It'll do till we get our own place.  Now all we need are jobs."

"Yeah, well we can't afford to eat.  That bread in the ice box didn't look too good."  

Kirsty remembered something.  Before she left home, she grabbed the last of her savings, and some of the money from the takings at the kiosk.  About $50.  That'd last for about a day.  They got the rest of their stuff from Kane's car.  He parked it somewhere discreet, he hardly wanted the cops finding them.  Kirsty inspected the bedroom closely.   She felt like part of a proper couple now.  Kane put his arms around her.

"We'd better head into town, see about some jobs, or we won't be here for long.  You okay Kirst?"

"Yeah, just totally happy.  I can't believe we did it.  I feel so free."  

They left their new home, and walked down the long road towards the town.  Meanwhile, the Sutherland family was in silent suffering.  Shelley repeatedly looked at the clock.  Her daughter had been away for one whole night with Kane.  She shuddered at what he might be doing to her.  Her Kirsty.  Jade looked on her mother sadly.  How could Kirsty do that to them, after all they had been through?  They were supposed to be twins, but grew apart to be strangers.  The longer she was away, the harder it was to forgive her.  Rhys sat, fuming.  He hated being out of control.  How dare Kirsty defy his wishes, and run away.  He couldn't even begin to think of how Dani would react.  Dani sauntered in happily, interrupting the melancholy silence.  Shelley tried to put on a brave face, knowing that the news would destroy her.  She didn't want to hurt Dani, not after what she'd been through.  The separate Sutherlands retreated into thoughts of delight, desperation and despair.


	3. It's all going well

The town of Holly Springs reminded Kirsty far too much of Summer Bay, with it's diners and familiar looking shops, Kirsty feared she would be discovered at any moment. Although it was virtually impossible; Kane had driven them as far away as his petrol would allow; nothing stopped that fear.  Kirsty couldn't stop thinking about her family, she knew she'd upset them but surely her happiness was what mattered?  They stopped at a bar, which had a sign on the glass advertising work.

"I guess I should head in there, "said Kane.

"Well I'm gonna look across the street, " said Kirsty.  "It'll be better if we both get jobs, the sooner we can get some money, the sooner we'll find our own place.  Good Luck!"

Kirsty ventured across the road.  Most of the shops and restaurants wanted staff over 18.  Being young certainly wasn't helping her now.  Kirsty sighed.  At least Kane would be able to get a job, he was 19.  She'd never thought about the age difference before, it seemed irrelevant.  Perhaps if his previous history with Dani hadn't occurred, that's all her parents would be worried about.  If only it could have been simpler.  She arrived at yet another diner.  Expecting disappointment, she saw that the advert in the window wanted a 16 year old to work as a waitress.  This might have put Kirsty off normally, but then she wondered.  She could pass as 16, easily.  One more lie wouldn't hurt now, especially if it got her a job.  Kirsty entered the diner, 'A Slice of Heaven.'  It sounded cheesy.  She approached an old man behind the counter.

"Hi I'm here about the job, " said Kirsty brightly.

"Oh that, yeah I'm looking for someone.  You waitressed before?"

"Yeah I have.  I used to…"  Kirsty thought about her stints at the Kiosk, with her Dad usually on her back.  That had to count as experience.  "I used to waitress."

"And you're 16?"  Kirsty nodded.  "Good, well just come back tomorrow at 9 and we'll see how you are for a trial run.  You are?"

"Kirsty.  Kirsty Sutherland."  Kirsty hoped he hadn't heard her name before, on some missing persons report or something.  No doubt her parents had already got the police onto her.  The man looked unfazed.  She was safe.  For now.

"Well I'm Mr Briggs.  You'd better get a decent nights sleep Kirsty, you'll be needing all your energy tomorrow."  Kirsty left with a sigh of relief, she had somewhere to live and work.  Kane greeted her smiling.   He had got the bar job.  Kirsty's life was now complete.


	4. The Rival

Kirsty was exhausted.  Today was her first day at the diner, and despite serving ill-mannered tourists all day; she was paid a crisp $90 for a hard days work.  Hopefully there would be many more, she'd been offered a part-time position Mondays to Fridays, eight hours a day, ten bucks an hour.  She couldn't wait to tell Kane before he went to work at the bar.  They'd hardly have time to spend together, now he was working from six till late.  It would be so lonely without him.  Still, if it meant more money, the closer Kirsty would be to achieving her dream.  In order to accomplish you had to sacrifice.  She ran into the now familiar caravan park, but to her dismay Kane wasn't there.  She sat on the step of the caravan, where her thoughts were interrupted by a voice.

"Hi."  It was the girl, obviously the daughter of Andrea.  They had the same suspecting look about them.  

"Hi, " replied Kirsty.  

"So, what exactly are you doing here?  You look way too young to be living with your boyfriend.  Shouldn't you be at school?"

Kirsty didn't want to think about school.  So many bad experiences.  She was better off here.

"No, I don't go to school and I'm old enough to do what I want."  That wasn't strictly true.  Sure, she'd be 16 soon, but being 16 wouldn't make her an adult.  She was technically still the property of her parents.  Stop, she thought.  It was different now.  She was in control.

"Hmmmm, that's strange Kirsty, Kirsty Sutherland.  Why does that sound familiar?"  Kirsty shuddered.  Maybe she'd heard a television appeal.  "Oh yeah, I knew a Kirsty once.  I'm Jayne by the way."  Jayne sat on the floor beside Kirsty.  She'd had her eye on them; she quite liked the boyfriend, but wanted to see if she could find out more about them first.  Antagonizing Kirsty was her top priority.

"Nice to meet you Jayne, "said Kirsty with gritted teeth.  She hated her already.

"So Kane's your boyfriend?  He looks pretty old for you.  How old are you exactly?"

"Look what is your problem?  My life is none of your business, so keep your judging nose out of it!"  Jayne was taken aback at the harsh tone in Kirsty's voice.  She obviously had something to hide.  Jayne smiled sweetly.

"I didn't mean anything by it."  Kirsty's annoyance soon ended with the arrival of Kane.  She sprung onto him, seeing Jayne in the corner of her eye, glaring.

"Kane, where you been?"

"I got us some dinner.  I hope you like lasagne."  Kirsty kissed him, not only to annoy Jayne, but because she loved him, especially at this moment.  Dinner smelt great.  Jayne sneaked away, she could tell she wasn't wanted.  Kirsty and Kane slipped into the caravan, and fell onto the sofa.  It was getting more heated than before, without the prying eyes.  Kane broke away from the kiss, not wanting to get too heavy.  He respected Kirsty.

"Wow, I've gotta go soon."

"Oh no, don't go."  Kirsty couldn't bear to see him go.  "I could hang around the bar, keep you company."

"No, no.  I don't want you hanging around bars, it's not safe," said Kane firmly. He didn't want other guys leering at his girlfriend.  "Plus, you're too young.  You'll be fine here."  

Kirsty was annoyed.  It was lonely in the caravan; she didn't want Jayne talking to her again.  Patronising her.  Was being young and decisive such a crime?

***

The clock stuck eight.  Two hours gone.  Three to go.  Kirsty had tidied the cramped caravan as much as she could.  She'd put some flowers she'd found in a cracked jug.  She'd cleaned the bathroom, something she'd never do at home.  It was too boring without Kane.  Kirsty went to her bag and started to unpack her clothes.  Some jeans, t-shirts and a skirt.  The skirt she'd worn to the concert, where Kane had looked at her with new eyes.  Like he was proud of her.  She put it on.  That'd make her look eighteen at least.  She'd go down to the bar and surprise Kane.  Give him something worth waiting for.

Jayne had the same idea.  She'd seen an opportunity in Kane, her friends had always told her she could get any man she wanted.  The bar was a regular haunt of hers, and unlike the dreaded Kirsty, she was old enough to get in. She had an advantage.   Sauntering over to him at the bar, she pouted.  He wouldn't be able to resist her.

"Hi Kane, I didn't know you'd be here.  I've been waiting to see you."  Jayne stood upright, maximising her assets, highlighted in a low cut scarlet top.

Kane was flabbergasted.  Maybe this would have tempted him before, but not anymore.  He was different now.  "Um hi, I didn't catch your name."

"Jayne.  Jayne Moore.  How about a vodka, in fact have one for yourself."  Jayne leant in closer to him.  "I think we know what we want."

"Listen Jayne, I'm very flattered but..."

"But your girlfriend?"  She was annoyed.

"It's serious."

The hot climate of Holly Springs suited Kirsty's attire.  She was getting closer now.  To Kane.  She'd spruced herself up, worn her hair loose.  He wouldn't be angry.  She knew him.  Opening the door to the bar, she glanced at the over 18's sign.  No one seemed to bat an eyelid.  She panicked, where was Kane?  She scoured the bar, finally seeing a flask of his tousled hair.  She smiled a smile that quickly faded.  Jayne.  Leering at her boyfriend with her stupid low cut top and stupid pout.  Kirsty ran out of the bar, hot fresh tears running down her face.  Is that why he hadn't wanted her there?  To chat up the locals.  Especially Jayne.  Kane shouted after her, but nothing could stop her.  She finally knew how betrayal felt. 


	5. Why can't I say I love you?

Kane shouted after her, yet she still ran.  She must have misunderstood the situation.  Jayne was so calculating, so overconfident.  He had to listen to her stupid, inane flirting; it was all part of the job.  'Charm them if they buy more drinks,' said the boss to him earlier.  'The tourists love to tip.'  He glared at Jayne, excused himself for a break, and proceeded to chase after Kirsty.  She was still visible.  "Kirsty!"  He shouted again.  She still ran.  "Kirsty, I love you!"  She couldn't hear him, or maybe she didn't want to.  Kane threw his head into his hands.  He needed to get back to work; he couldn't mess up on his first day.  Then again, he couldn't mess up the one good thing to happen to him.  Kirsty was more important than work, but at least with a bit more money behind him, he'd have something more to offer.  Defeated, he turned around and went back to work.

***

Kirsty stopped at the caravan, and crashed on the double bed.  He hadn't even bothered to follow her; didn't he know she was upset?  She knew that Jayne was trouble, and now she was trying to steal her boyfriend.   Her boyfriend.  She couldn't let Jayne do this to her.  No one treated her like this, she was the feisty twin.  She had to get her revenge.  Kirsty lay on the bed, just thinking, for hours.  The caravan shook.  Kane was home.  Kirsty sat up, drying her tears with a random t-shirt.  They hadn't packed any tissues.  She didn't think she'd need the anymore.  Kirsty regained her composure, and went out to face Kane.  Kane instantly came alive when he saw her.

"Listen Kirst, she was coming onto me, but I don't love her, I…"  Kane couldn't bring himself to say it.  Not to her face.  When he shouted it to her earlier, deep down he knew she couldn't hear it.  He was so nervous about making his true feelings known.  Love didn't happen to people like Kane.

Kirsty waited.  He didn't finish the sentence.  Kirsty ran into the bedroom, and slammed the door in anger.  Just like she did at home.  That's where the similarities ended.

"What's the matter, don't you trust me?" shouted Kane through the door.  Kirsty wasn't sure anymore.  What if she'd made the wrong decision, running away with her first serious boyfriend?  One that her parents hated because of; Kirsty couldn't bring herself to think it.  Surely he was a changed man?  He'd proved that when they were shipwrecked.  She hated these thoughts.  She'd forgiven Kane.  She knew he was different now.  With these conflicting thoughts running through her head, she fell asleep, her in the double bed, Kane on the sofa, both with tears drying on their faces.


	6. A question of trust

The atmosphere in the caravan was relaxed, yet with a hint of apprehension.  Kirsty woke early, to avoid Kane, still fast asleep on the sofa.  She looked at him a moment.  He seemed so peaceful now; she wasn't sure how she could be so angry with him.  Perhaps she was jealous; Kirsty wasn't the loose, pouting machine that was Jayne.    She was still young, as everyone kept telling her, so of course she couldn't make her own decisions, or say anything that made sense.  She was supposed to do as she was told, fall in love with the right people, go to school and do all the mindless things Everybody Else did.  Like Jade.  Kirsty left for work, unsure of what the future held for her.  Sitting on the veranda of the Moore household, was Jayne, painting her toenails a fierce red.  Kirsty approached her.

"Morning Kirsty, Kane awake yet?"  asked Jayne seemingly innocent.

"Listen Jayne, just stay away from my boyfriend." Kirsty snapped.  She hate this naive persona Jayne kept emitting.

"Boyfriend.  Are you sure?  My boyfriends never slept on the sofa, " remarked Jayne.  "Oh I'm sorry, you're only young.  You don't share beds do you? Does he tuck you in and give you a kiss before bedtime?"

"Just shut your mouth!"  Kirsty walked off, leaving Jayne smiling in triumph. So the happy couple weren't so happy?  That left Kane hers for the taking.

***

Kane woke up some time later.  He went to the bedroom, seeing that Kirsty wasn't there.  He threw himself on the bed.  He could smell her scent.  He had to make it up to her, tell her he loved her.  Tonight.  He was going to cook her something.  Their first real romantic meal together.  He loved her too much to let her slip away.

***

Work was exhausting for Kirsty.  She got there early, and intended to leave late, to avoid Kane before he went to work.  After serving some teenagers, she realised what she was giving up.  Her childhood.  Would she be working here for the rest of her life?  Serving the same types of people, just with different faces, day in day out?  Would she ever see her family again; Jade, her twin, who she was so close to?  Then she remembered.  What she'd done to them, what she was doing to them now.  She'd chosen Kane over them.  Whether it was the right or wrong choice, she was still deciding.  

After eight hours standing on her feet, Kirsty was in a hurry to get to the hovel she called home.  Work was taking it's toll on Kirsty, she could have fell asleep right on the entrance to the caravan park.  She opened the caravan with her key, and the sight she saw made her stand rooted to the spot.  Jayne.  In her caravan.  With Kane.

Kane was shocked at Kirsty's sudden appearance.  He knew she'd get the wrong idea; he wasn't even sure what the right idea was.  Jayne had let herself into the caravan, with the spare key her family kept, spouting some bull about their attraction.  Kane tried to get her to leave politely, but to no avail.  Jayne was persistent, seeing the dinner for two laid out, as an invitation to stay.  Kane tried to explain to Kirsty but it was too late.  Kirsty darted into the bedroom and locked the door.

"Kirsty!"  Kane shouted.  "Jayne, just get out!"  Kane didn't want to resort to violence.  He hoped his tone of voice was enough.  Jayne left, skulking outside to listen to the action.

"You made her dinner.  I'm sorry I interrupted your cosy affair, "Kirsty shouted through the door.

"You didn't, that dinner was for you Kirst."

"That's easy to say now she's gone."  Kane paused.  He didn't know how to handle this.  Kirsty, driven by jealousy was hastily packing her clothes into her bag.  She opened the door.  "I'm leaving."

"You're leaving?!  Where'ya gonna go?"

"Home."  Kirsty left the caravan, shooting a dirty look at Jayne.  If only looks could kill.  Kirsty continued to walk, out of the caravan park, onto the main road.  Jayne halted Kane. 

"Wait Kane, you don't need her now.  Look, she'd just a kid.  Running away when the going gets tough."

"I'm going after her, just leave me alone!"  Kane's frustrated tone reminded him of when he tried to talk to the Sutherlands.  They didn't listen.  Things like this happen when you don't listen.  Kane got into his car, and proceeded to follow Kirsty.  She was a fast runner.  He wound down his window and shouted.

"Kirsty come back, how you gonna get home?"

"I don't care.  Just like you, "shouted Kirsty.

"I do care."  I've always cared, began Kane.  "From the second we were shipwrecked together, I just wanted to protect you, but I knew you hated me.  Because of my past.  A past that I'm finding hard to erase from peoples minds.  You've forgiven me Kirst, and through that I've realised that maybe I can be happy.  I've realised that not everyone hates me, and that someone like me can be loved.  And I've also realised that I can love.  I love you Kirsty."  Kirsty froze.  He hadn't said that before.  He must mean it now.  

"And Jayne?"

"Jayne, I don't even like Jayne Kirst, and I sure as hell couldn't love her.  I love you Kirst, so please just get in the car and come back home with me."

Kirsty ran back to Kane in his car.  They kissed zealously, a kiss more intense than either of them had shared.  They broke apart.  Kirsty smiled.  

"Let's never fight again."  She curled up to him.

"That's a promise," whispered Kane into her ear.

***

Meanwhile, at the Sutherlands, the atmosphere was anything but calm.  Shelley waited anxiously by the phone, prepared for another night of silence.  Rhys brooded alone, as did Jade, both with equal amounts of growing anger towards Kirsty.  Dani also felt anger, but towards herself for not noticing Kirsty's depression.  She was so wrapped up in her own life.  How could she?  All she ever said to Kirsty were remarks about her troubled past; she never once listened or comforted her.  Dani sobbed, Shelley watching her helplessly.  Finally Rhys snapped.  He stormed downstairs.

"I'm sick of this waiting, I'm going to find my daughter."

"Rhys, no, it's too late, " pleaded Shelley.

"That's what the police are probably thinking.  I'm gonna drive round towns, put up posters, ask people.  Why hasn't she phoned?" Shelley couldn't answer that.  She felt like she didn't know her own daughter anymore.  Nobody did.  Kirsty had made her choice, and that was with Kane.


	7. Jayne's Revenge

Many hours turned into days, days into weeks, and weeks into a peaceful month; Kirsty and Kane were together and growing stronger by the day.  They literally had hours together after work, so made the most of the time they had.  Sometimes they took trips to the nearby beach, or just chilled at the caravan park, under the glowering eye of Jayne.  Kirsty realised that her relationship with Kane was strong, of course they'd have some arguments in their lifetimes, all healthy couples did.  It just made them appreciate and love each other more.  Kane often whispered to Kirsty when they curled up in their bed, "I don't know what I'd do without you babe."  

Rhys' frustration grew stronger.  He'd been driving around various towns for the past three weeks, putting up posters of his missing daughter.  He was angry with her for leaving, not contacting them, but he didn't want her with Kane.  He wanted her back on his terms, not when Kane had finished with her.  He shuddered at what he might be doing to her, surely it couldn't be right?  Little did he know he had nothing to worry about.  Another day, another town he thought.  More disappointment ahead.  He tried to keep positive, for his family's sake, but even their resolve had started to wane.  They were just carrying on as normal; Max with his scams, Dani with her many admirers.  It was as if Kirsty had just gone to visit a friend.   Rhys was visiting a town near Queensland.  Mulberry.  Another pointless visit.  Nothing would come of it.  How long would he have to travel round Australia for until he'd found her?  Little did he know that today was his lucky day.  Jayne, being the brooder she was, decided to indulge in some serious shopping with her friends from Mulberry.  Retail therapy to help her get over her rejection.  She'd soon forget him, with a new dress and a vanload of American backpackers staying at the caravan park soon.  As she traversed through serious shoppers, she noticed a few posters on the lampposts.  She wouldn't have thought anything of them usually, but then she noticed a familiar face.  Kirsty Sutherland.  Aged 15. Missing since the end of July.  This could be just what she needed to put her in her place.  A visit from the parents.  Jayne grabbed the poster, and found a quiet corner in a nearby café.  She dialled the number, and waited.  After two rings it picked up.

"Kirsty?"  A female voice answered.  Dani.

"Hi, I'm Jayne Moore.  I think I know they whereabouts of Kirsty Sutherland."

Dani was ecstatic.  Finally a promising lead.  "Really?  Well, where is she?  Is she okay?"

"She's staying at my mothers caravan park in Holly Springs, on the east coast.  She's been staying there about a month with her boyfriend."

Dani was mystified.  What boyfriend?  Then she remembered there was all the talk of a 'mystery boyfriend' all that time ago.  She must have run away from him.  This changed her perspective completely, she thought Kirsty had ran way because she had no friend.  Turned out she didn't know her sister as well as she thought.  "Holly Springs, can I get some details of the caravan park?"  Jane dutifully obliged.

***

Kirsty had just got back from work, rushing so she could see Kane.  There was only an hour untill he went to work.  She'd got paid today, a month's wages, over $1000.  With Kane's money, it could just be enough to put a proper roof over their heads.  She was stopped in her tracks.  Jayne.  Smiling at her smugly.

"So you've been paid right?  That's nice.  You'd better savour this moment, cos it's never going to happen again.  You're 15 years old, living with a 19 year old.  It was never gonna work."

"I'm not 15."

"I think you are.  I saw this."  Jayne held up the poster.  Kirsty stood rooted to the spot.  A missing persons poster.  She'd been rumbled.

 "You didn't tell anyone did you?"

"Of course I had to.  We can't have 15-year-old girls running away from their families.  It's my duty to report you.  As a citizen of Australia."  Jayne was enjoying watching Kirsty squirm.  Kirsty sensed that Jayne wasn't the patriotic type.  "They'll be here in a couple of hours, and since Kane is out you'll have no way of leaving."  Kirsty ran back to the caravan.  Kane wasn't there.  She hastily packed everything that belonged to them.  They'd have to leave as soon as Kane got back.  She looked at her watch.  He couldn't be at work now.  He always saw her before work.  Maybe she could ring his mobile.  She ran to the caravan parks phone booth and punched in his number.  It rang a couple of times, 'Just pick up,' she thought.  Finally he did.

"Kirsty?"

"Kane where are you, come quick, my family knows where I am.  We've gotta leave now!"


	8. Lucky escape for some

"Kirsty, calm down. What's happened?"  Kane could hardly understand a word Kirsty was saying.

"I'll tell you when you get here, you have to come quickly."

"OK, I'll be there as soon as I can."  Kane had to tell the boss he couldn't work anymore.  That wasn't going to be easy, especially since he had to coax his wages from him. 

Meanwhile, Kirsty was frantically searching for Kane's car keys.  At least if she loaded the car, they could leave as soon as he returned.  Kirsty didn't want to go home.  Not now, not ever.  She didn't feel like she belonged in Summer Bay, she was always messing up, getting moaned at by her parents.  Even before Kane, her relationship with her mother was hardly straightforward.  They always argued, especially with her school troubles, or rather lack of school.  She didn't want to be like the 'perfect' residents of Summer Bay, who did what was expected of them.   She dared to be different.  She was having the greatest time of her life with Kane.  She didn't want it to end now.  Having fun was hardly selfish, was it?  She eventually found the keys, she'd accidentally packed them.  She headed towards the car, but alas, Jayne was waiting.  

"Jayne, get out of my way."

" No," Jayne held onto Kirsty, her sharp claw-like nails digging into her arm.  "You're not going anywhere.  Your parents are gonna be here soon, don't you wanna get back to Mummy and Daddy?"

"Jayne, just get off me!  My family is none of your business."  Kirsty whacked Jayne with her rucksack, but unexpectedly Jayne kicked Kirsty, sending her to the floor.  Jayne pinned Kirsty down with her hands.  They were face to face.  They stared at each other for a moment, their hate for each other the same.  Kirsty took her by surprise, kicked her in the stomach, and broke free.

"I'm not letting you go!"  Jayne ran after Kirsty and grabbed her, by the stomach.

"This is getting tiring, just get the hell off me!"  Kirsty swerved round and punched Jayne in the face, sending her to the floor again.  It was like in slow motion. Jayne bashed her head on the paving, blood spilling over her face.

  Jayne was out cold.  Kirsty stood motionless.  Was she alive?

"What's going on?"  Kane was back.

"Kane, I didn't mean to, but she was grabbing me, she wouldn't let me go!  We've got to go, but I don't know if she's alright."

"Well she has a pulse."  Kane leant by her.  "She's just unconscious.  I'll ring for an ambulance and we'll leave. "  He saw her worried face, and squeezed Kirsty's arm.  "It's gonna be okay."  Kirsty started loading the bags into the car.  She was still reeling.  What would her parents think of her, when they arrived? She hastily scribbled a note to them.  'I love you, but I can't come home yet.  I'm sorry.'  She left it on the veranda.  "The ambulance coming?"

"Yeah, " said Kane.  "Any second.  We all packed?"

"Yeah, I put all the bags in the car.  Let's go.  As far away from here as possible."

***

The Sutherlands returned home unsuccessfully.  When Shelley and Rhys had arrived, they'd found out that Jayne had been admitted to hospital, with concussion.  When she awoke, she'd had no recollection of Kirsty or Kane ever being there.  Luckily, the owner of the caravan park had remembered them, but she didn't know where they'd gone.  Kirsty had so kindly left them a note saying she couldn't come home, and she was sorry.  Rhys was fuming.  As if she was sorry, running off with Kane.  Was she doing this just to spite the family?  Dani grew more suspicious by the day.  Everyone pretended not to know whom the 'mystery boyfriend' was, yet they seemed to stop talking about him the moment she entered the room.  Her father seemed too angry for it to be a complete stranger.  She sighed, and got back to watching television.  

"Hiya Dani."  Josh entered, "It was open.  Any luck with finding Kirsty?"

"Well we got a call saying that Kirsty was with her boyfriend at this caravan park, but when Mum and Dad got there, she'd left."

"Her boyfriend?  What Kane?"  

"Josh, why'd you have to bring him up, okay?"  Dani was angry.  That reference was totally unnecessary.  "Kane is not Kirsty's boyfriend.  She agreed to stop seeing him."  Dani looked at a guilty Josh.  From his face, she could tell that he knew different.

"Look, I'm sorry Dani.  Your parents said to keep it quiet.  Are you okay."

"Fine."  Dani felt a surge of fury.  "Just fine.  My sister's ran away with a…"  Dani didn't want to say it.  Too many bad memories.  Dani felt sick all of a sudden.  It all fitted together, the secrecy, Kirsty's strange behaviour, her parents covering up all the time.  Dani ran upstairs, too confused to cry.  She wasn't quite sure how to react.  How could Kirsty betray her in this way? All this time she'd thought Kirsty was depressed and alone, when she was with him. How could her family lie to her?  Even Josh knew, her ex-boyfriend.  This was unforgivable, everybody else knew but her.  Dani truly felt alone.


	9. Rich Pickings

"Dani, Dinners ready. Sorry it's late, but I got lasagne take out.  Your favourite!" said Shelley outside Dani's bedroom door.  No answer.  "Dani?"  Shelley swiftly opened the door, to see Dani staring into the mirror, with tears running down her face. "Dani, what happened?"

"Kane happened, Mum.  Why didn't you tell me he'd taken Kirsty and that they were together?"  Shelley had been dreading this moment for ages, putting it out of her mind, but now she had to face the inevitable. She recited the speech she'd been preparing. 

"Listen Dani, we didn't want to hurt you.  I know what you went through before, and I knew what this could do to you now.  Your father and I were just trying to protect you…"

"Protect me? Why does everyone think I need protecting?  What, you think I can't handle anything just because of what he did to me?  I've moved on.  I'm stronger now."

"But you were taking time to get over this, I didn't want to bring the past up again and risk hurting your recovery.  I knew this would destroy you."  Shelley sighed.  It was so hard to please everyone, two sisters with opposite views.  "I'm sorry Dani, I'm sorry we didn't tell you, but I didn't think I could.  I'm just beginning to understand it myself."  Shelley looked into Dani's eyes.  She was transfixed by the mirror.  "Dani?"

"I… I just can't understand this, I mean; she knew how I felt about her seeing Kane after the accident, but she carried on.  I would never, never even think about going out with someone who hurt her.  Why has she done this to me?"

"I don't think she did it to spite you Dani, she just…" Shelley didn't want to continue to cause further pain to her daughter.  She left the soundless room, before bursting into tears on the stairs herself.  It was all getting to her, Kirsty's selfish attitude, Dani's reaction, Rhys' anger.  She wasn't sure how much longer she could cope.

***

It was just beginning to get dark on the roads, but Kane was still driving, trying to get as far away from Holly Springs as possible.  Kirsty rested her hand on his thigh, and grinned.  In a non-murdering way, she was glad Jayne was out of the picture.  She hated jealousy, she wasn't sure if she saw Jayne as a threat but it certainly made her angry.

"You know, I'd never cheat on you."  It was as if Kane read her mind.  

"You weren't even tempted?"  Kirsty joked.  "With her thrusting her chest at every opportunity?"

"Nah, that doesn't do it for me."  Kane smiled.  "You didn't need to see her as a threat, no one could take me away from you."  Kirsty rested her head on his shoulder.

"We gonna stop soon?  I'm getting kinda hungry.  We could get a hotel room, we've got enough money to cover us."

"We'll see."  Kane passed another sign.  'Creighton On Sea, next turning.'  "That place sounds nice, it'd be near a beach, "said Kirsty.  Kane turned, and they were immediately greeted with small cafés, intricate shops and one-storey redbrick buildings.  This town seemed like something out of a school novel.  Kane pulled over by a café.  "Would the lady care to join me for dinner?"  Kirsty obliged.

After dinner, they had a walk around the town, seeing no sign of hotels as yet.  Kirsty, tired, kept her eyes to the floor as they walked.  Their first real dinner date with Kane.  It was like a dream come true.  Suddenly, she noticed something on the ground.  A black purse.  She grabbed it and opened it.  It contained well over a hundred dollars.

"Someone must have dropped it, " said Kirsty, searching for some form of identification.  "That's a lot of money to lose, we'd better return it."  Kirsty found a name card, "Edwina Hawkins, Cherington House, Cherry Tree Lane.  That's gotta be near."  Kirsty wasn't even tempted to keep the money.  Kane admired her.

"Yeah, maybe if we return it she'll give us a reward, " Kane said hopefully. They got back into the car and drove around, asking for directions as they went.  Cherry Tree Lane, was a long road with many sharp bends, which sent Kirsty flying over onto Kane's lap.  They laughed it off before they reached a gate with the sign, 'Cherington'.  They rung it, a bright, high-pitched voice answering.  "Hello?"

"Hi, It's Kirsty here, is that Ms Hawkins?"

"It is."

"Um, yeah, we found your purse on the street, we've come to return it."  The gates majestically opened, Kirsty and Kane drove in.  It was like driving through a park, with perfectly manicured lawns and flowers. It seemed like ages before they reached the actual house. The house was nothing like Kirsty had seen before, except on television.  It was enormous, with well over a hundred gleaming windows.

"Wow, " said Kane.  "This woman must be loaded."  They parked by a nearby tree, and were soon greeted by a woman of about fifty, with white hair scraped into a bun, dressed elegantly in satin. 

"Good evening, "she spoke with an English accent.  "And you are?"

"Kirsty, and this is my boyfriend Kane."  Kane was too overwhelmed by the houses presence to speak.  'What must it be like to live here?' he thought.  "Um, we found your purse by the café in the village."  She handed it back.  "All the money's in there."

"Thank you.  I must have dropped it when I was out shopping. Would you like to come inside?  I was just putting on a brew."  Kirsty nodded.  They entered a hallway, easily as large as the Sutherlands house, with a high ceiling and a polished mahogany floor.  Kirsty was even more stunned, by the lavishly decorated ceilings.  It was like a palace. They were led into a kitchen, with marble units, numerous chrome appliances and the French doors framing a view to die for, the huge garden complete with swimming pool.

"Please, do take a seat, "said Edwina who went to make the tea using one of her expensive appliances.  Kirsty pulled a shocked face to Kane, who nodded.  Neither of them knew what to say, to a woman old enough to be their grandmother, with tons of money.  They couldn't have much in common.  

"Nice place you got here."  Kane broke the silence.

"Thank you.  I've had it for many years; it was the first thing I built when I started to make money.  It feels a bit hollow here, ever since my husband died.  Cancer."  Edwina, glanced at the sparkling ring on her finger.  

"I'm sorry to hear that, " said Kirsty.  

"Oh don't worry about that.  It was a long time ago."  She brought over the tea.  "My grandson lives with me now.  Oliver.  He tends not to talk to me."  Kirsty sipped the hot, sweet tea.  It reminded her of the tea her Mum made. Home. "Anyway, what brings you to  Creighton?"

Kane shrugged.  "We're travelling around Australia for a while, and needed a place to stop."

"Where are you from?"

"Down south, " replied Kirsty.  She decided not to say Summer Bay, not just because she was afraid of being discovered.  She wanted to put that place out of her mind.  "It's getting late Kane, we'd better go."

"Where are you staying?"

"Um… nowhere yet.  We couldn't find a hotel."

"Then it's settled.  You'll stay with me."  Kirsty was overjoyed, but put on a polite front.  She didn't want to seem too obsessed with the luxury.  She acted as if she was invited to stay in mansions every day.

"Are you sure?  I mean, we only just met."

"You seem like decent enough people.  Most people would take the money and run.  I'm getting a positive aura from you two, you intrigue me and my predictions are rarely wrong.  I could do with the company too.  I'll show you to your room."  Kirsty squeezed Kane's hand as they were led to their room.  Not only was she going to be staying in a place like this, but she was with Kane as well.  She smiled.  Nothing could keep them apart.


	10. Ready Or Not

After numerous turns through countless corridors, they were finally at their room, exhausted.  The door opened to reveal a room complete with a king-size bed and en-suite bathroom, overlooking the vast garden.  The room was a considerable improvement from the caravan; it oozed elegance, careful preparation and had a fresh flowery smell.

"It's beautiful, "said Kirsty, amazed.  

"Thank you.  It was my daughter's room before she left.  I'll leave you to enjoy each others company."  As Edwina left, Kirsty flopped onto the bed.  It felt cool to lie on a bed that wasn't near to breaking point.

"I'll get our stuff from the car."  Kane left.  Kirsty explored the room.  It seemed so ornate, she was afraid to touch anything, with its antique pieces of furniture.   The room was so unlike anything she had at home, where she had to share with Jade, who was always moaning at her to tidy up.  Now she was sharing with Kane.  Although she'd shared with him at the caravan, there was something radically more romantic about this setting.  Something could happen here, Kirsty was willing, despite the implications it might cause.  She hadn't forgotten what he'd done to their family, yet it didn't make her uncomfortable around him.  He was a different person now; she felt she could trust him.  People shouldn't be judged for their past mistakes, Mum was always saying, yet she couldn't understand this.  It was so hypocritical of her.  Kane returned, with their bags.  

"Thanks for helping babe, " he said sarcastically.  Kirsty laughed.

"You're welcome."

"Wow, this place is something, that garden could fit the whole of Summer Bay!"

"Yeah, it is so unreal to be staying here.  It must have been fate when I picked up her purse.  I just knew I had to do it."  Kirsty got up and put her arms around Kane's neck, "And look how it turned out."  Kirsty put her lips to his and they kissed, with more excitement than before.  Kirsty swiftly pushed Kane onto the bed, so that she was on top of him.  They were still kissing.  Discretely, she slid her hand down, past his neck, past his stomach, to remove his trousers.  Kane was unprepared for this sudden outburst. 

"Hey, " he broke from the kiss.

"What's the matter, don't you want me?"  

"I do, but I just, " Kane removed Kirsty's hand from his trousers. "I just don't think we should at the moment."  Kirsty rolled off Kane, disappointedly.  Her dreams of romance went.

"So you don't wanna?" she asked.  

"Not now, " said Kane.  Kane didn't know about Kirsty, but he was uncomfortable about going further.  Ever since what happened with Dani, he didn't think he'd ever find anyone that would be willing, especially not Kirsty.  He wanted to prove to her that he'd changed.  He reached out to Kirsty.  She disregarded it and went into the bathroom to have a shower.  Kirsty was upset that Kane didn't respond to her advances.  She thought he would have wanted to, he was older than her. She was just trying to be like a proper girlfriend.  She stepped into the shower; it was one of those complicated power-showers with so many dials, she couldn't figure out how to start it.  She tugged on the shower in her frustration, which promptly fell onto her foot.   

"Ow!"  Kirsty grabbed her foot in pain. 

"Kirsty, are you alright?"  Kane was just about to open to door when Kirsty shouted.

"Don't come in, I've got no clothes on!"  Kane waited, smiling, while Kirsty quickly grabbed one of the white fluffy towels on the rack to preserve her modesty.  

"Can I come in?" said Kane.

"Yes, I've hurt my foot."  He entered.  "I dropped this stupid shower on my foot because it wouldn't switch on and it was really heavy and now, it hurts…"

"Shhhh." said Kane trying not to laugh.  He lifted her out of the bath, towel intact, and carried her onto the bed, Kirsty feeling a bit like a princess.  Kirsty quickly rearranged the towel so that she was properly covered.

"Why are you laughing?  It's not funny!"  Kirsty was annoyed.  "My foot hurts!"  Kane walked over to the bathroom, "You couldn't switch on the shower, you dropped it onto your foot, yet you didn't want to let me come in because you were naked.  Somehow, I don't think you're ready as well."  Kirsty smiled.   Perhaps she wasn't, maybe she was too caught up in the romanticism to consider baring her body.  "I'll leave you to dress," said Kane as he went inside the bathroom.  Maybe she would be ready one day, just not now.  


	11. A Secret Stash

The next morning, Kirsty woke early, leaving Kane snoring softly in bed.  He was so sweet towards her, carrying her out of the shower like a princess.  Kirsty felt like their relationship had progressed, even without intimate contact.  She went downstairs, counting the doors as she went so she could remember where her room was.  The house seemed eerily quiet, and when she entered the kitchen, it was a complete shock seeing a teenage boy, with black spiky hair sitting at the table eating his cornflakes.

"Hi, "said Kirsty attempting to break the ice.  "You frightened me." He didn't answer.  She tried again.  "You must be Oliver.  I'm Kirsty."  Still no answer.  "Anyone in there?"

"I'm deeply ashamed that I alarmed you with my presence, I am Oliver and yes there is someone in here, who doesn't particularly want to talk to anyone."

"Charming, " said Kirsty under her breath.  She looked in the kitchen area for cereal, opening all the cupboards seeing if Oliver would venture his assistance.  He didn't.  She glanced at him.  He still paid no attention to her.   It wasn't a very nice way to treat guests.  Edwina instinctively entered the room to break the awkward silence.   

"Good Morning, " she said.  "I trust you slept well."

"Yes, very well thank you.  Um, where do you keep the cereal?"

"Didn't Oliver tell you?"  Oliver left the room.  "Obviously not."  Edwina found the cereal cupboard and Kirsty chose some cornflakes.  "He hardly ever talks to me either.  My only grandson, and he never speaks to me. I don't hold it against him though, that's just the type of person he is. I just hope he learns from his mistakes."  Edwina's tone changed to inquisitive.  "It must be great to travel with your boyfriend.  Your parents allow it?"

"Well…" Kirsty debated over whether to tell the truth.  Edwina seemed trustworthy enough, not disapproving.  "Not exactly, but I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

"Are you sure it was the right one?"  Kirsty nodded.  "He loves you, you know.  I can see it, but I sense your relationship has caused a lot of hurt within your family."  

"How do you know?"

"I've a gift for these things.  Here he comes now."  She was right, Kane materialized, giving Kirsty a hug.  Edwina left the room, to give them privacy.  Kirsty sat down to eat her cereal.

"She seems nice.  I think she thinks she's psychic, she said all these things about us, about my parents disapproving.   About you loving me."

"Oh did she?" said Kane sitting next to her.  "Cos you know these psychics, always making stuff up…"

"Yes she did!"  Kirsty whacked him with mock annoyance.   Kane blocked her and leant in for a kiss.  Oliver appeared again.

"Gross, " he took something out of a tin and left again.

"What's his problem?" asked Kane.

"I dunno, he seemed really stuck up, he hardly said anything to me.  He's really rude."

"Well I'm glad he doesn't like you, at least we wont have another Jayne situation on our hands!"  Kirsty laughed.  Her morning had just brightened up.

***

Later that day, Kane had left to look for work at the beach, leaving Kirsty to help Edwina with her flower arranging.  She enjoyed the conversation; learning about Edwina's career as a 70's model, yet found the flowers unsurprisingly dull.  She quickly made an excuse to use the bathroom. She was walking around the corridors, thinking to herself, when she realised she was lost.  The downstairs bathroom had seemingly disappeared.  She opened a door on her left.  A study.  She tried the right.  A room full of dresses.  She tried the next one, and was pleasantly surprised. Not because it was a bathroom, but because she'd finally found the most interesting room of the house.  It seemed too modern for Edwina.  'This must be Oliver's room, ' she thought.  It sharply contrasted with other rooms in the house, it had black walls and floors and black blinds over the windows.  It had gadgets galore; a plasma television on the wall, a massive stereo system complete with DJ decks, some sort of lighting device shaped like a woman and numerous flashy devices stored in glass cabinets.  He'd obviously been spending vast amounts of his grandmother's money.  She scanned the room; one thing that definitely seemed out of place was a box of teddy bears on the bed.  There were hundreds of them; minute brown teddy bears with shiny brown beads as eyes.  She picked one up and inspected it closely.  There was a rip in the back, due to shoddy stitching.  Kirsty reached inside and found a plastic bag, containing white powder.  Drugs.  She knew enough about them.  She looked in some of the other bears.  They were all identical, hundreds of bears filled with bags of cocaine.  The door opened, Kirsty jumped.  It was Oliver.  She had a lot of explaining to do.


	12. 12

"Oliver, I was just…" Kirsty stammered.

"Just snooping round my room.  Don't touch what you can't afford mate, now get out!"

"Wait."  Kirsty wasn't going to be pushed around just because this guy had money.  "I've seen what's in these bears.  What are you doing, are you selling this stuff?  You know it's illegal."

"Just keep out of my business."  Oliver was close to her now, staring her in the eyes.  His stare was cold, harsh.  "Or else."

"Or else what?"  What could he do to her?  Kirsty didn't let anyone walk all over her that easily.

"Or else your boyfriend may get a nasty surprise.  I've got friends.  Friends who could be your worst nightmare.  They owe me a favour.  If you tell anyone, Kane might just get a visit."

Kirsty was hesitant.  She knew the types of circles people like Oliver could hang around in.  She'd almost been part of it.  She didn't want Kane to come to harm.  "Fine, I'll keep out of your stupid business.  It's your funeral."  Kirsty went back to Edwina, slightly stunned.  Perhaps flower arranging would take her mind off things.  Edwina had a new venture, floristry, for her retirement years.  "It lets me be creative.  I can't work in showbiz anymore, so I might as well try to create something beautiful."  Edwina carried on chattering about her life, pausing to let Kirsty speak about hers.  Kirsty filled these pauses with short monosyllabic answers, still preoccupied with the threat from Oliver.  Then, as if Edwina were reading Kirsty's mind, she started to talk about Oliver.

"I'm sure he's calmed down now, he used to be such a wild child.  He's doing much better in school now; I hear he actually turns up now."

"Are you sure he's not hiding anything?"  Kirsty asked.  Edwina couldn't be psychic if she couldn't pick up on what he was really getting up to.

"I think we all hide things and they say that ignorance is bliss.  For me it's more of a peaceful, noiseless bliss.  I do wish he'd confide in me, but what can I expect at his age."  Kirsty nodded.  She hadn't really confided about anyone with Kane.  She had begun to with Shauna, but then she went away.  Even Kirsty could sense _her_ disapproval.  And now she couldn't confide in Kane about Oliver.  She hated his presence, she couldn't understand it.  There was something about him that made her skin crawl.

***

Later that day, Kirsty was washing up.  Although Edwina had a dishwasher, it used up more time to wash dishes.  Kirsty hated to think it, but she was bored. Edwina didn't want her to find a job for some reason; she preferred her running errands at home.  Kirsty enjoyed Edwina's company, but relished something more to do, like exploring or working.  She couldn't walk into town; she didn't know how long it would take and she didn't know where it was.  After washing up, she decided to wait in the vast front garden for Kane.  She'd taken one of Edwina's novels to read, which sounded pretty much like the stuff she would have been reading at school.  It was set in the Edwardian era or something, boy meets girl, girl hates boy, girls has no money, man takes pity, girl still hates man but in the end they all get married.  She was just getting to a vaguely interesting part when two burly men confronted her.  

"Hey chick.  You seen Oliver?"  Kirsty hadn't since that morning.  He'd left soon after.

"No, can I take some sort of message or something?"

"What are you?  His girlfriend?"  One of the men leered at her.  Kirsty stood up, trying to take away their advantage of height.

"He is **not** my boyfriend.  I'm taken by somebody else."

"Well can you tell your non-boyfriend that he owes us a lot of money, and we'd like it back.  Preferably soon.  He knows what will happen if he pays no attention."

"Fine."  Kirsty sat back down, expecting them to go.  One of them leaned and put his hand on her shoulder, and whispered into her ear.

"So why are you here then?"  Kirsty edged away from him.

"I'm staying with a friend, not that that's any of your business.  You came here for Oliver, he's not here so would you just leave me alone!"

"Well, well, well.  I think you just got yourself involved.  See ya later."  They left, leaving Kirsty shaken.  Why did she have to be involved in Oliver's business?  All she was doing was minding her own business.  Now they were going to hassle her.  Kirsty left the garden and went into the house.  How could Oliver owe money?  His gran was loaded; he would have had no problem.  Why did she have to talk to them?  Kirsty collapsed on the bed, overwhelmed by her troubles.


	13. Visitors

Kirsty paced up and down in the hallway, waiting for Oliver to come home.  She needed to confront him now she was involved in his mess.  Trust her to finally have a decent place with Kane, only to get involved in a drug dealers money troubles.  She heard footsteps.  She turned around and was surprised, and slightly disappointed that it was Kane.  

"Hey babe."  He hugged her and leant in for a kiss.  Kirsty pulled away.  "What's wrong?"

"Oh, I'm not feeling well.  Womens troubles."  Kane smiled.

"It's ok babe.  I'll leave you in peace."  Kane didn't want to hear the gory details.  He was sensitive, but not that sensitive.  "Oh yeah, and I got a job today.  Mostly the sort of stuff I did before.  It's really cool here Kirst."  As he went away, Kirsty wished she could agree.  She wished she could tell him what was really going on, instead of lying to him.  Finally, Oliver arrived.  Kirsty wasted no time in confronting him. 

"Oliver, I got a visit from your 'friends' today.  They said you owed them money."  Oliver looked shocked.

"They came to the house?  Great, they know where I live.  Come out of the corridor, my Gran might hear us."  They went into Oliver's room; the novelty of it had worn off.  Kirsty now saw it as dark and oppressive.  She carried on.

"Why can't you just pay them back.  Your gran's loaded."

"Because, I can't ask her again."  Oliver finally looked tense.  "She said if I got into trouble again, she'd write me out of her will."

"So, why did you get in trouble again?  It seems pretty stupid."

"I just ran out of money.  I need to borrow some to keep in business."

"Can't you sell some of this stuff?"  Kirsty gestured towards the overpowering plasma screen TV.  "That's gotta pay of your debt, surely?"

"No, it won't.  I'd have to sell all of this stuff, and more.  I can't afford it."

"So you're just gonna keep hiding from them until they blow us up or something.  Nice work Oliver, totally thoughtful."

Kirsty left Oliver.  How could he be so stupid to spend all that money?  His stuff had to be worth well over 100 grand.  If Kirsty had that money, she wouldn't waste it.  She'd buy a place for her and Kane, where they could be free of all the Jane's Oliver's and Sutherland's of the world.  Kirsty went back to her room and collapsed on the bed.  Money obviously didn't bring happiness.

***

When Kane went to bed, Kirsty was already asleep.  She'd been avoiding him ever since he got home.  Kane sensed all was not well.  She'd said she wasn't feeling well, but Kane suspected that she was missing her family.  A day didn't go by, when Kane wondered if he'd made the right choice, uprooting her.  It was a risk; wasn't young love always supposed to fail?  Kane decided he'd do something fun for her tomorrow.  There was a fair on the pier.  He'd never really had the chance to go to fairs when he was younger.  His past wasn't exactly normal.  He got into bed beside Kirsty, stroking her long fair hair.  She'd probably had a great childhood, family holidays, presents at Christmas, bedtime stories, that sort of thing.  Now he'd taken her away from all of that.  Kane stopped stroking her hair.  He'd talk to her tomorrow about it.  He eventually drifted off to sleep.  Kirsty turned over.  She'd felt him stroking her hair, but couldn't bring herself to speak to him.  Kirsty eventually fell asleep, worrying about what the next day might hold.


	14. Fighting for Love

The Sutherlands were gradually beginning to adjust to life without Kirsty.  It had been months now since she'd left, all they could do was return to some sense of normality.  She'd showed that she didn't want to be found.  On the surface, Rhys acted as if Kirsty had never been born, erasing every memory of her from the house.  She obviously didn't want a family, so her family didn't want her.  On the inside, he missed her like crazy; he missed their arguments and disagreements, her wild way of thinking.  Shelley couldn't believe her husband had forgotten their daughter.  She still thought about her each day, with constant things reminding her; a stray sock of Kirsty's in the washing, a TV programme she liked to watch.    She couldn't bear her family being torn apart.  Dani had eventually forgiven Josh for withholding information about the whereabouts of her sister, but still couldn't believe what Kirsty had done.  At least she didn't have to see her at the moment.  Out of sight, out of mind.  She wouldn't let Kane get to her again.  Jade was truly caught between two groups.  Kirsty was her twin, and she missed her.  It was their sixteenth birthday soon; the thought of spending it without her was unbearable.  Jade wished she could talk to her, ask her what she was doing, but then she remembered.  Kane.  Kane who'd hurt her other, equally important sister.  Kane, who'd taken her sister away from her, changing everything. Everyone else in her family seemed to be carrying on with their lives, but Jade couldn't.  Kirsty had ruined her life.

***

Meanwhile, Kane was growing increasingly worried about Kirsty.  He tried talking to her, touching her but she always backed away, saying she wasn't well.  Kane didn't know the workings of the female body that well, but he knew that she couldn't be ill all the time.   He was worried about their relationship; maybe, with the risk of being discovered taken away, she'd become bored with him.  Afraid of commitment.  She was fifteen.  That had to be too young to be living away from home, with a boyfriend of a few months.  The truth couldn't be more different.  Kirsty was stressed; she'd received more visits from Oliver's 'friends', who'd kept threatening her.  They somehow thought she was involved.  She'd constantly been persuading Oliver to pay them, yet all he did was buy more pointless gadgets for his room.  

"Oliver, this has got to stop, " she said over breakfast.  "I can't live like this, I hate keeping things from Kane."

"Well you can tell him, but don't hold me responsible if he gets involved and stalked as well." 

"I don't think your attitude is helping, it's just getting me even more involved when I have to keep making excuses and covering for you…"  Kirsty stopped.  Kane was up.  "Hi baby, " he said.  She shifted a nervous glance towards him.  Kane knew something was up.  They were obviously talking about something important before he entered the room.  He gave her a hug from behind, showing Oliver that she was his. He knew he'd been eyeing her up.  Kirsty responded to Kane then broke away.

"Kane, I'm gonna go take a shower.  See you later."  

"OK, " said Kane.  He couldn't really argue.  She was obviously trying to avoid him.  As soon as he left the room, Oliver started.

"Do I sense tension between the happy couple?"  Oliver smiled, Kane glared.

"No, our relationship is fine." 

"Doesn't seem like that to me.  She's been pretty upset lately."

"You think I haven't noticed that?"  Kane grew angry.  Some strange guy asking too many questions, interfering.  

"You haven't been around.  I've had to comfort her."  Kane stood up.

"What you trying to say?"  Oliver stood up and looked him in the eye.  He was slightly taller than Kane.

"I'm saying you'd better be careful.  She might go off with someone else."  Kane lost it, and sent Oliver to the floor with a powerful blow.

"Stay away from my girlfriend, OK?"

"See, you wouldn't understand.  We share something deep.  Deeper than you'll ever know."  Oliver dodged another one of Kane's blows, and winded him.  Kane sprung up, and pushed Oliver onto the floor.  "What do you think you're gonna do, huh?"  Kane hated Oliver taunting him, goading him.  Just because he was rich, he thought he could do as he pleased.  Kane was going to prove him wrong.  His anger was too strong for rational conversation.  They were in a full-blown fight; Kane could've killed him.  If Kirsty hadn't walked in.

"What do you think you're doing?  Kane!"  Kirsty was horrified.  This was all she needed, Kane beating up Oliver so he could take an even better revenge.  Kirsty tried to separate them.  Oliver was worse off; he was wincing with a black eye.  "Kane, what did you do that for?"  Kane stormed off.  Why was she on his side?  Was what he said true?  

"How did that happen Oliver?"

"He was just going mad, I didn't know what to do, "Oliver lied.

"Are you sure you weren't provoking him?  I know what you're like."

"No, he was just getting all suspicious, you know.  I might have to get someone to sort him out if he does it again."

"No, " said Kirsty.  She wasn't sure who to believe.  Kane didn't seem like the type to get overtly jealous.  That was her job.   "He won't do it again."

"Good."  Oliver smiled.  He was one step away from breaking the happy couple up.  Then Kirsty would be his.  


	15. Your Choice

Kirsty braced herself as she entered the room. She had to stop Kane from hassling Oliver.  His life depended on it.  Kane was staring at the window intently.  He couldn't believe that Kirsty would betray him in this way.  They were supposed to be stronger now; she should've supported him, not sided with Oliver.  

Kirsty broke the silence.  "Kane, you can't go around whacking people just because you're jealous.  I don't even like the guy…"

"Oh yeah?  Well he didn't say that.  I've seen you talking to him, and stopping when I come into the room.  It's like you don't want me there."

"I do want you there it's just…"

"You can't tell me?  We're supposed to trust each other."

"Well I trust you.  It's you who can't trust me, " Kirsty shouted.  

"Now this sounds familiar."  Kirsty glared at Kane.  He was referring to the Jayne business.  

"I had good reason to be suspicious then."

"And I don't now?  Face it Kirst, something's going on and I wanna know what."

"I can't tell you."  Kirsty hated keeping this from him, but it was for his own good.

"I'm going to work."  Kane left.  Kirsty didn't know what to do.   She couldn't tell him what Oliver was up to but then she couldn't live like this.  Kirsty stared at the wall, noticing a calendar.  It was her birthday tomorrow.  It was her first birthday she'd spent away from her family, and likely to be the first of many.  How things had changed since her last birthday.  She now had a boyfriend who wasn't talking to her, an involvement with drug dealers and was thousands of miles away from home.  Life sucked.

***

Oliver was in his room, playing on his playstation.  He didn't care about the fact that he owed money; it was just another day to him.  He'd pay them back soon, when he got the money for his latest delivery.  It was either that or steal some from his grandmother.  He vaguely knew how; she kept all her bank details in her wardrobe on the top shelf.  He'd always stolen money from her when he was younger.  Oliver's parents died young, as a part of their carefree culture.  He'd never really known them.  Perhaps that explained his attitude.  His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.  Kirsty.

"Oliver, I have to tell Kane, he doesn't trust me, and I can't let him leave me.  I need him."  Kirsty sat on the bed, almost in tears.  

"Remember what I said, unless you want to get him involved…"  

"I don't but I…what are you doing?"  Oliver was leaning towards her, too close for comfort.  

"It's what we both want."  He kissed her.  Kirsty broke away, although not immediately.

"What d'ya thing you're doing?!  I don't want this, I want Kane."

"Your choice."  Kirsty left Oliver smirking on the bed.


	16. Sweet Sixteen

It was Kirsty's birthday today, yet Kirsty felt anything but happiness.  Kane wasn't next to her when she woke up, in fact she didn't even know if he'd come to bed last night.  Kirsty felt guilt.  Oliver had kissed her the previous night, Kirsty had responded ever so slightly, but broke away.  She didn't even like Oliver; he was so sarcastic and conceited.  Why would he want to kiss her?  Although it was impossible, Kirsty thought that somehow Kane knew.  Perhaps Oliver would tell him.  Kirsty was terrified, yet she shouldn't have had a reason to be.  It wasn't her fault Oliver had kissed her, and it wasn't like she wanted it.  Or did she? Kirsty went downstairs to eat; no one seemed to be in.  She was in disbelief; she was finally sixteen but it wasn't like anything she'd dreamed.  She really missed her family, especially Jade.  Kirsty went over to Edwina's antique phone.  She could ring them, just to say hello.  She punched in the number hastily, being to sure to withhold her number.  A chirpy voice answered.  Jade.

"Hello?" said Jade.  Kirsty was speechless.  They seemed so happy without her.  Jade was probably having the time of her life without her, with her acceptable boyfriend and acceptable life.  What did she need Kirsty for?

"Happy Birthday, " said Kirsty slamming down the phone.  She ran up to her room and flopped out onto the bed.  Her life was a mess.  She couldn't go home because they probably hated her yet she couldn't stay here as Kane hated her, and to make matters worse smug debt-ridden boys were trying to kiss her.  Tears began to run down Kirsty's face, onto the scented pillows.  The most perfect place she'd visited turned out to be flawed.

***

Kane finished work early.  He couldn't put off speaking to Kirsty; he couldn't concentrate on anything.  He just wanted to say sorry and that he did trust her, it was just Oliver he didn't.     He didn't want to stay angry at her any longer.  He went inside the house; using the key Edwina had given him almost pretending that the mansion was his.

"Kirsty?" he called.  "Kirsty are you downstairs?"  Hearing no answer, he went upstairs to the room.  Kirsty was face down on the bed.  "Kirsty!"  He went to her, seeing her face tear stricken.   He instinctively pulled her to his chest, embracing her.  

"What's wrong?"

Kirsty struggled to put her words together.  Everything was wrong.  "It's…it's my birthday."  She decided not to tell him about the kiss.

"Your birthday?  I can't believe I didn't know that!"

"I didn't expect you to, " Kirsty sniffed.  Kane was annoyed at himself.  They'd been together for months, yet didn't know the basic details about each other. 

"Kirsty, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I was mad at you.  Let's do something."  Kirsty sat up, resting her head on Kane's shoulder.  "I could take you out or..."  
"No, I'm fine.  You being here is enough."  Kirsty meant it.  Now at least one of her problems was sorted out.  

"Man, this is heavy, " said Kane.  "Do you regret us running away?"

"No, " said Kirsty smiling.  "No regrets.  Even though we've had to deal with so much; I think it proves we can survive through anything."

"Do you still miss your family?"

"Yeah, I tried to ring Jade earlier, but they all sounded so happy.  I had to put the phone down.  I'm sixteen Kane, sixteen."

"I know, hopefully your next birthday will be better than this.  It's pretty dull."

"Do you think we'll still be together then?" asked Kirsty.  "Maybe you'll end up running off with some blonde and I'll have been captured by my parents then." 

Kane laughed, "Nah, we'll still be together."

"Maybe still living here, due to Edwina's endless generosity, " continued Kirsty.  

"We'll both have our jobs so we can afford stuff."

"Maybe you can get a haircut!" teased Kirsty.

"Oi, I thought you liked my hair?!"

"No it's way too long at the moment."  Kirsty ran her fingers playfully through it.  Kane leaned in for a kiss.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get you a present Kirst."

"No worries.  I've matured and learnt that there are more to birthday's than presents."  Kirsty smiled mischievously , "However, there is one present you could give me…"


	17. The Morning After

The next day, Kirsty felt strange.  She'd slept with Kane for the first time the previous night, and was undecided on her reasoning.  It wasn't that she didn't enjoy it, the experience had proved to be appealing, but she felt that she'd only done it because she was guilty.  Guilty because of what happened with Oliver.  She knew sleeping with Kane couldn't erase the guilt, yet she'd done it anyway.  Perhaps she had wanted to do it.  Kirsty's mind was active with confusion, yet Kane's was full of happiness.  He saw the previous night as a way of getting on with his life, not forgetting, but improving his self-esteem.  After the mediation with Dani, he'd realised a lot of things about himself he didn't like.  His attitude, his way of living terrified him; surely no one could ever begin to trust him, let alone like him after the way he'd acted.  Kirsty forgave him, and that changed anything.  Kane hadn't lost hope, if she could forgive him, like him, love him then anyone could.  Perhaps he wasn't so bad after all.  Kirsty woke up, seeing Kane looking at her affectionately.

"Man, you scared me, " said Kirsty dreamily.  "How long you been awake?"

"A bit, just thinking about you.   Are you OK?" 

"Yeah, " Kirsty said, half lying, half truthfully.  She did feel closer to Kane now; they were inseparable.  

***

Kirsty spent most of the day lounging around in the kitchen, enjoying her favourite new pastime of arranging the cupboards.  Boredom had turned Kirsty into an obsessive cleaner, if she was going to continue to live with Edwina, she was going to have to find something to do.  Maybe she could go to a college to do a TAFE course.  At least she'd have more prospects than becoming a glorified cleaner.  Oliver came into the silent kitchen, Kirsty had decided to ignore him, as talking to him stressed her out too much. 

"Kirsty, " began Oliver.  "Hear me out, please?"

Kirsty was nonchalant.  What bull was he going to spout this time.  "Speak if you have something vaguely useful to say.  Something that may affect the current situation."

" I've decided to pay up, " he admitted.  "I'm going to a party tomorrow, where they'll be.  I'll hand it over there.  I'd like you and Kane to come as well."

"Where did you get the money from?"

"I'm getting paid a bit today at college, and hopefully I'll get a loan out of my Gran."

"I only hope you're sincere."  The silence resumed.  Oliver still waited for a response.

"I'm sorry I kissed you, I was caught up in the moment."

"Well, I don't recall us having a moment that could possibly make you kiss me.  I was asking you if I could tell Kane something, and you thought that was a moment to kiss me?  How can you be so deluded?"  

"I'm sorry, OK, but I've grown up since then…"

"In the space of a day?  That's a major development you'd have to make."

"Just please come tomorrow, it'll be fun."  Kirsty looked away.  "It's my way of an apology."

"Fine, I'll come, but only for the party.  I'm not getting involved in your business again."

"Soon there wont be any to be involved in.  I'm turning over a new leaf."  Kirsty sighed.  She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt; Kane had already proved that change is possible in a person.  How could someone who she feared, turn into someone she loved?  She wasn't hypocritical like her mother.  If Oliver said he was different and sorry, then Kirsty had to believe him.

***

That night, Kane arrived home after a hard days work.  He glanced at Oliver as he ate his dinner; Oliver tried to meet his eyes to talk.

"I've invited Kirsty to a party tomorrow.  You can come if you want."  Kane agreed to go.  There was no way he was going to leave Kirsty with him.  He didn't trust people that easily, Oliver was no exception.  Kane went upstairs to the room.  It was empty.  Then he heard the shower running.

"Kirsty, you in there?"

"Yeah."

"Can I come in this time?" he heard Kirsty laugh, and after a pause she came out wearing one of Edwina's fluffy bathrobes.  "I like the new look."

"Really?"  Kirsty wrapped her arms around Kane, their lips meeting.

"And I like the attitude that comes with it, " he said.  Kirsty was sure of herself now, she's slept with Kane before because she loved him, and she wanted to do it again.  Kirsty began to unbutton Kane's shirt, and pushed him onto the bed.    It was less nervous than the previous night, they were more relaxed with each other, yet Kane broke away.

"We can't, I haven't got anything."

"Doesn't matter," said Kirsty impatiently, "I'll sort it out tomorrow."  With no restrictions, they carried on.  Kirsty had never been more happy in her life.


	18. The Plan fails

Kirsty and Kane were on top of the world, they couldn't keep their hands off each other, much to Edwina's intrigue and Oliver's annoyance.  Kirsty felt closer to Kane than she'd ever been before, and she realised new depths about relationships.  Kane was still in disbelief, yet enjoying every moment. They were both walking on air. At breakfast, they were canoodling when Oliver entered the room.  They didn't seem to notice him.  Oliver did like Kirsty somewhat, yet she was too committed to her boyfriend to respond.  It did make him bitter, maybe even bitter enough to take revenge.  He'd hoped that telling her that he was a reformed character would have changed her mind, yet she was still as attracted to Kane as ever.  Kirsty broke away from Kane's embrace, slightly light-headed.

"Come on Kane, we're putting Oliver here off his breakfast…"

Kane grimaced at the thought of him.  "I'm sure he wouldn't mind if he left the room, " he hinted.  Oliver ignored him.  "Listen, I'd really better go to work Kirst, but I'll be back for that party later, OK?"

"OK, " Kirsty said disappointedly.  She couldn't bear to be without him.  She reeled him in for another lasting kiss, prompting Oliver to suddenly become interested in the multiple functions of the toaster.

"Nice to see you're getting on, " said Oliver through gritted teeth, after Kane's departure.

"Yeah it is nice, " said Kirsty dreamily.  "He's so wonderful, I dunno what I'd do without him."

"Listen, can you distract Edwina today?  I need to do a lot of things with her out of the way."

"Yeah I will, I'm not doing anything much, " said Kirsty.  She had the feeling that she needed to do something, but couldn't think what.

"The party tonight starts at eight, I can drop you there if you like."  Oliver hoped he could impress Kirsty with his convertible Mercedes.

"Fine."  Kirsty floated around for most of the day, lost in her thoughts about Kane.  She counted down the hours until she'd see him again.  Even while distracting Edwina, she couldn't stop thinking about him.  Finally she was experiencing what she'd dreamed about; she was undeniably in love, and it gave her the greatest buzz ever.  

***

As the day merged into night, Kirsty began to get ready, remembering the feeling of a great night ahead.  She chose a dress of Jade's she'd quickly grabbed, which was blue and knee-length, slightly tighter and shorter on Kirsty.  She left her hair flowing, complimenting it with a matching flower hair clip.  It was nice to get dressed up; most days she lounged around the house wearing baggy sport clothes with her hair in the most bizarre state.  It was going to be her first real party with Kane, maybe it could be classed as a date.  Kirsty posed in the mirror, and quickly stopped when the door opened, to a speechless Kane.  His girlfriend looked gorgeous.

"Hey you, " he pulled her towards him for an equally exciting kiss.  "You look amazing."

"Well, you don't look to bad yourself."  The kiss quickly became compelling, with Kirsty struggling to break away.  "Come on Kane, you'd better get ready, the party starts soon."

Kirsty left the room, leaving Kane to choose an outfit, which wouldn't look out of place with this new glamorous girlfriend of his.  She went downstairs into the front hallway, seeing Oliver.  He was in disbelief.  Kirsty looked stunning; his jealousy for Kane was literally growing by the second.

"Wow, Kirsty you look… great."  Oliver didn't want to seem too keen. Kirsty thanked him.  Oliver secretly wished he didn't have to wait for Kane, and that he could take Kirsty as his date.   

"Have you got the money?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's all under control, "lied Oliver, still mesmerized by Kirsty's appearance.  Kane came down the stairs shortly after, wearing his smartest shirt and trousers.  Kirsty linked arms with his and they were off.  The journey there was unbearable for Oliver, yet enjoyable for the others.  Kirsty sat in the back of the convertible with Kane, much to Oliver's frustration, and they proceeded in kissing and laughing for the entire journey.  When they arrived at a house, slightly smaller than Edwina's, they could already hear the loud music.  Kirsty and Kane got out of the car, leaving Oliver to park.  

"Wow, I haven't been to a party in ages, " said Kane.  He didn't exactly have much of a social life in Summer Bay.

"Me neither, " agreed Kirsty. The last one she went to was VJ's christening, and she wasn't exactly overjoyed there.  The first stop for Kane was the buffet table; he was famished.  Kirsty, leaving his watchful eye, decided on hovering near to the drinks table, becoming a little too friendly with the rum punch.

"Hey Kirst, " said Kane after a while.  "Aren't you too young for that?!"

"Hmmm, I don't think so, " laughed Kirsty trying to hug Kane, but nearly falling over.  "Oooooh, where's Oliver.  He takes a long time to park cars!"

"I don't know, " said Kane, wanting to add 'I don't care' to the sentence.  Kane brought Kirsty outside of the main party room, so she could calm down. 

"I'm not drunk!" shouted Kirsty, who'd collapsed on the stairs. "I'm just very, very, very, very happy!  Let's go upstairs Kane…"

"No Kirst, not in this state."  Kane noticed some burly guys come in, who were staring at Kirsty earnestly.  "Do you know, those guys?" he whispered.

Kirst craned her neck to look at them.  They were the people Oliver owed money too.  They were looking for her.  "Damn.  They're Oliver's…friends.  Where is he?"

"Let's get away, " said Kane.  "I don't like the look of them."  They went back into the main party room for a while, Kane leaving to use the bathroom.  The effect of the alcohol was beginning to wear off, and Kirsty waited anxiously by the window for Oliver to appear.  He definitely wasn't in the house.

"Trying to avoid us are you?"  Kirsty spun around.  It was Oliver's 'friends'.

"I don't know where Oliver is, if that's what you want to ask me."

"Yeah right, don't give me that bull.  Where's he fled to this time?"

"I don't know!"  Kirsty grew agitated.  She scanned the room for Kane, to no avail.   

"Well he said he was gonna pay us!"  The man came closer to Kirsty, suffocating her with his presence.  "Well I guess we can take you as payment."  He grabbed Kirsty's arm.

"What? No way!"  There was no way she was going to let herself get kidnapped.  

"Oi what's going on mate?"  Kane was here to rescue her.  "Let go of her!"

"How you gonna make me?" asked the man.  His friend stood upright, squaring up their opponent.  Kane punched the man, who let go of Kirsty.  Kirsty automatically ran behind Kane.

"So are you involved too?" asked the man.  "Have you got the money?"

"What money?" asked a bemused Kane.  Little time elapsed before he was shoved onto the floor.  

"I asked you, have you got the money?  If not we'll take the girl."

"You're not taking her!"  Kane attempted to punch the man again, but the power of two was too much for him.  Kirsty saw a dark object come out of the man's pocket.  A gun.

"Kane watch out!"  It was too late.  Kane tumbled to the floor, grabbing his side in pain; Kirsty's cries echoed throughout the hall.


	19. The Honeymoon is Over

Staring at the pale cold walls of the hospital waiting room was making Kirsty numb.  It had been hours, yet no sign of Kane recovering.  After he'd been shot, the perpetrators quickly left.  Kirsty had felt dazed, someone had called an ambulance, it had all happened so fast.  The journey to the hospital had happened swiftly, Kane was taken away from her, and now time went slowly.  She couldn't believe what had happened, her boyfriend lying in a hospital, in so much pain.  The image of Kane falling to the floor forever stayed in Kirsty's mind.  

"Hello, are you part of Kane's family?"  A nurse.  Kirsty composed herself.  

"Yeah, "Kirsty composed herself.  "I'm his…fiancée."  Kirsty lied; gesturing towards the ring Kane had given her.  Maybe they'd take her more seriously.

"You are?"  The nurse looked shocked.  "Well there are some complications, he's going to have to have surgery.  You may want to call someone, " she said indicating the payphone in the corner.  Kirsty nodded.  Maybe she should call her parents.  Kane could be in the hospital for ages, she couldn't cope on her own.  She had no idea what had happened to Oliver, she wondered what his excuse for his departure could be.  Contempt couldn't describe what she felt towards him, if it weren't for him, Kane wouldn't be unconscious.  Kirsty began to cry silently, her life had fallen apart in a matter of seconds.  Why did her happiness have to be ruined?

***

Hours passed, and Kirsty realised she'd fallen asleep.  There was still no sign from the doctors.  She didn't know where she was, she had no money, and she couldn't go back to Edwina's.  She went into the visitor's bathroom, and splashed cold water onto her face.  'Be calm Kirsty, ' she said to herself.  'If you can run away and survive for months, you can cope with everything.'  She heard a toilet flush, an elderly woman came out.

"I heard you talking to yourself, are you alright?"

"Yeah, " lied Kirsty.  "Have you got any change you can lend me?  For the payphone?"

"Yes, I have dear.  And get yourself something to eat, you need a good hot meal."  Kirsty was handed a crisp note, and thanked the woman.  She composed herself and went to the phone.  She slowly punched in the number, taking a deep breath after each number.  It rang a couple of times.  Kirsty glanced at the clock, it was seventeen minutes past ten.  Her sisters would probably be at school, her parents at work.  No one would be there for her.  Kirsty's thoughts were proven wrong when her mother answered.  

"Hello, Summer Bay Caravan Park."

"Mum, it's me. Kirsty." said Kirsty after a pause.  Chances were that everyone had forgotten who she was.  

"Kirsty!  Are you OK?  What's happened?"

"Kane, he's… he's in hospital, he's been shot, I don't know what to do!"

"Calm down Kirsty, where are you?"  Kirsty glanced at a plaque on the wall.  

"Melrose General Hospital.  It's on the East Coast."

"OK, I'll find out where it is."  Shelley was surprised, sad and overjoyed.  Surprised because she didn't expect Kirsty to contact her family.  Sad because, well, sad for Kirsty because Kane had been shot, yet happy to finally re-unite the family.  "I'm coming to get you Kirsty."  Kirsty put the phone down, she realisation of what she'd done, and the consequences dawning on her.  She'd have to face her whole family, everyone properly, and most likely leave Kane.  Her mother had sounded normal enough on the phone, but she knew that was just a counsellor's attitude.  She'd have to go back to a life of misery and isolation.  The honeymoon was finally over.


	20. The First Degree of Seperation

Shelley took a deep breath and put down the phone.  She couldn't believe what had just happened.  Her long-lost daughter it seemed wasn't lost any more, and would with any luck be coming home.  Home to a place who had not forgotten her, but glossed over the fact that she'd run off with her sister's rapist.  Shelley hadn't been expecting her home for a while, and certainly not in these circumstances.  She scanned the internet for the Melrose hospital, and printed off a map.  It would be a long drive.  She wasn't sure how she was going to react to Kirsty.  She was supposed to be a mother; an all forgiving caring compassionate mother, but lately her thoughts had been quite the opposite.  She had unconditional love for her daughter, which had been proved by her past exploits, yet she was angry.  Angry at how she'd turned away from her family, then expected them to come running at the sight of danger.  Shelley punched Flynn's mobile number into the phone, and waited.  He picked up.

"Hello, Flynn speaking?"

"Flynn, " Shelley said, "It's me Shelley.  I need you to contact Kane's aunt.  It appears he's had an accident."

Flynn choked on his morning coffee.  "What d'ya mean, is Kirsty all right?"

"Yes, she's fine.  Kane's been shot in some reason and she's in a hospital on the East Coast.  I'm going to get her now."  Shelley paused.  "Obviously Kane will need to be taken care of."

"Yes, of course."  Flynn's mind raced.  He'd have a lot of things to deal with in the coming weeks.  "I'll contact his aunt.  What's the name of the hospital?"

"Melrose General, near Melrose City.  I wont be in today, I've got a long drive ahead."

"Have you told the family?"

"No, " said Shelley reluctantly.  "I can't yet, Rhys has gone to work and the girls are at school.  It's a bit of a bombshell."

"Well, I hope the reunion goes well."  Shelley ended the call, and picked up her car keys.  This was perhaps the most life-changing journey ever.

***

Kirsty waited for hours for news of Kane, unsuccessfully.  Saying she was his fiancée didn't seem to help, with the nurses looking suspiciously at her all morning.  Kane was still evidently in surgery, and Kirsty was out of her mind with worry about his condition.  Kirsty only had knowledge from hospital dramas, but even they couldn't capture how she was feeling now.  She continued poking at the coffee she'd been nursing for over an hour now.  It was stone cold.

"Miss Sutherland, you have a visitor at the A&E reception, " said a nurse.  Her mother.  Kirsty tried to walk there slowly, but eventually she recognised her mother's silhouette staring out a nearby window.  Shelley turned around and instantly ran towards her daughter.

"Kirsty!"  He voice became weaker as she hugged Kirsty, pushing her head into her chest.  They broke apart as immediately as they were thrown together, with Shelley realising the full extent of her daughter's actions.  "What happened?, "her tone changing to stern.

"Well, " Kirsty didn't know where to begin, so much had happened.  "We'd been staying with some people, and we went to a party, some guys were hassling and Kane intercepted and ended up getting shot."  That was the heavily abridged version.

Shelley didn't even want to think of what people she was mixing with for Kane to get shot.  "And Kane?  Is he OK?"  Shelley felt a strange sort of concern for the boy who'd saved her life.  It was an odd role-reversal.

"I don't know, they nurses hardly tell me anything." 

"Take me to his ward."  Kirsty led her mother to the ward.  She was obviously saving the biggest argument for a less public place.  Shelley marched up to the first nurse she saw.  It was inaudible from where Kirsty stood frozen to the spot.  After earnest conversation, Shelley came back to Kirsty, indifferent.

"Kane's fine, " she said callously.  "He responded well to surgery.  His aunt should be able to get him by tomorrow.  Where are your things?"

"Tomorrow?"  Kirsty was shocked at the prospect of leaving Kane being so soon.

"Yes, tomorrow, " Shelley paused.  "We've got a lot of talking to do when we get home, and we need to return as soon as possible."

Kirsty could feel tears welling up.  "But Kane…I can't leave him, mum.  I love him."

Shelley paused.  It was the same argument again.  "Kirsty, you have to understand…you can't keep doing this to your family.  You need to get back and that is an order!"

Kirsty sobbed, as she was lead out of the hospital; she was powerless.  

***

Shelley looked at her daughter in the rear view mirror.  She was asleep.  They had just left the mansion Kirsty was staying in, no wonder she hadn't wanted to go home. The place was wonderful.  Kirsty's priorities obviously lurked elsewhere.  Kirsty pretended to be asleep, to avoid the lectures of her mother, before actually falling asleep.  She had packed her things in silence, thanked Edwina but seen no sign of Oliver.  She'd left her second home behind to return to her first.  It was Kirsty's fault though, for contacting her mother, yet Kirsty had felt so alone without Kane.  Kirsty felt the motion of the car stop and subsequently woke up.  Home.  It had hardly changed, the hedge had gotten a little overgrown.

"Well, here we are, " said Shelley, exhausted after the drive.  Kirsty got her backpack and walked up the path leading to the house.  She stopped suddenly, the realisation of her return dawning on her.  How would her family react?  Kirsty took a deep breath as her mother opened the door.


	21. The Prodigal Daughter

The scene in the Sutherlands living room was indescribable. Dani jumped up from the sofa where she had been kissing Josh.  She thought her parents were home, but looked and saw.  Kirsty.

"Kirsty, " Dani said disbelievingly.  "You're back."

"Looks like it, " said Kirsty uncertainly.  Her sister's expression showed shock and confusion.   Dani took a deep breath.  She hadn't expected to be confronted by her sister, not now, not ever.  Speechless for a second, Dani continued.

"I know…what you've done."  Dani forced the words out.

Now Kirsty was speechless, she thought her family would keep it secret.    "Oh."

"Is that all you can say?" asked Dani.

"Well I'm not apologising for being in love, if that's what you want."

Dani's mouth opened in disgust.   "Well thanks Kirsty.  Thanks for sticking by me, your sister.  You knew how I felt about you talking to him, yet you still did this.  How can you love someone like him?"

"He's changed Dani."

"Not to me he hasn't."  Shelley thought of interrupting but didn't know what to say. 

"Um…I think I'd better go," said Josh, "Leave you to it."  He slipped away, giving Kirsty a disapproving look.

"Well, I'm sure you're all pleased to hear that he's been shot and is currently lying in a hospital bed somewhere, recovering from surgery.  I hope you're satisfied Dani."  Kirsty left to go to her room.  Dani stood aghast.

"How could she say that Mum?"  Shelley shrugged her shoulders.  "I think I'm gonna go stay with Josh.  I can't be in this house right now."  Dani waited a few minutes after she heard Kirsty go up and shut the door, then she followed. Shelley felt powerless, with the disintegration of her family starting to unfold before her very eyes.  It was inevitable, yet any preparation couldn't make it easier.  She heard chattering voices; Brodie and Jade were home from school.  Shelley took a deep breath, and tried to look calm.

"Hi Mum, " said Jade excitedly.  "Anything new happen today?"

"Kirsty came home."

"What?!  Jade was shocked, more infuriated than overjoyed.  She never thought her twin would show her face again.  "Where is she?"

"Upstairs."

"How did Dani take it?, " asked Brodie.

"Well, she's packing right now.  I think she's staying with Josh for a while."

Jade stood rooted to the spot.  She'd gotten used to her sister not being there, without all her attention-seeking escapades.  Without Kirsty, Jade wasn't 'the other one', she was Jade, on her own, not in Kirsty's quite literal shadow.  She may have loved her twin deep down, but certainly couldn't like her after this.  Should she go upstairs and confront her, or avoid her for the rest of her life?, she thought.  Jade chose the former.

"I'm going to see her, "she said coldly.

"I'll see how Dani's getting on, " Brodie's usually cheerful expression fading.   

***

Kirsty's sobbing was interrupted with Jade bursting in.  Jade threw her schoolbag down on her bed, and glared at Kirsty, hands on hips.  Kirsty sniffed, giving Jade a pleading expression.  Surely this sister wouldn't hate her?

"Nice to see you're feeling sorry for yourself, " said Jade, with increasing venom in her voice.  "Did you have a nice trip?"

Kirsty continued to sob.  It was a nice trip, before she went to the party.  Her and Kane were getting on so well…

"It wasn't nice towards the end."

"What d'ya mean by that?"  Jade was worried about this latest statement, but didn't show it.  Maybe Kane had hurt her.

"I mean, it wasn't nice when he got shot… by a gang."

Jade wasn't sure how to feel, she hated Kane, but wouldn't wish getting shot on anyone.  "So why did you come home?"  She continued her inquisition.

"Because he was in hospital and I couldn't cope on my own. Are you done asking questions?"  Jade noticed Kirsty returning to her normal, fiery self.

"Oh so it wasn't because you were going to choose your family over him?"

"I…"  Kirsty was put in a difficult situation.  "I needed to be with Kane…I…"

"But you didn't think of anyone else did you Kirsty?  You didn't think about your family."

"I did!  Every day I thought about you, and whether I was making the right decision, I rang you on my, our birthday and you sounded so happy and normal.  Thought I'd leave you to it."

"We weren't happy, as you probably haven't guessed!  Dad drove around looking for you, he took days off work putting up posters and when you were discovered, you'd run off again!  Then you decided to ring and act all haughty, and we were worried about you yet again!"

"Shut up, I don't have to listen to this."  Kirsty sank into her bed as Jade left the room.  She felt so alone, nobody understood.  She couldn't just speak to her family as if she'd just gone on holiday; she was the prodigal daughter.

***

That night, Kirsty stayed in her room, nibbling on some crisps Jade had left in her schoolbag.  She couldn't face her family.  She'd had a headache from repeated crying, and eventually fell asleep, twisting Kane's ring around her finger, thinking about him.  The next day, Kirsty left her room only to use the bathroom and stock up on snacks, only when she was sure her family had gone.  Jade had obviously been sleeping in Dani's room.  This pretence carried on till the end of the week, when there was someone still downstairs.

"Who's there?"  Kirsty said after hearing noises.

"Only me, " said Max.  "Gee you're back, why don't you come out your room anymore?"

"Oh, you know, " said Kirsty.  "I'm the fugitive."

"Everyone seems to hate you, but I don't, " said Max, looking on the bright side.

"Thanks, that means a lot.  How's my Dad been?"

"Uncle Rhys doesn't really talk anymore.  No one does.  It's pretty boring.  Will you explain what's going on?"

"How long you got?" smiled Kirsty.  "It's pretty complicated."

"That's what they all say.  You not gonna tell me?"

"No Max, go to school."

"You should come back, it'd give you something to do."

"There isn't much point anymore."  Max left, leaving Kirsty to sit in an environment, now alien to her.  Her life was pointless now, her family hated her, she had no prospects, no career, no future.  No boyfriend.  Kirsty began to cry again, uncontrollable, violent sobs.  Her life was hopeless.  She was going to go to the medicine cabinet, when she realised.  She could write a letter to Kane, telling him how she was feeling.  Perhaps he'd even reply when he got better, he must be back in Summer Bay by now.  Kirsty went upstairs, found a pen and paper and began to write…


	22. The Letter

Kane,

I'm not sure how to start this; I hope you're OK.  When I left you were in a state, I didn't get informed much of your condition.  I'm so sorry I left you, but I couldn't cope on my own, I had to call my parents.  I was so scared when you were shot, I felt as if my whole world came crashing down.  As you can imagine, being back home is terrible, no one speaks to me except Max, and that's only because he doesn't know the full story.  Dani found out, she's moved in with Josh, Jade's moved into her room and I haven't seen my Dad since I got back.  It's all very fun.  I still don't regret running away; I wish I were still with you now.  We were having a lot of fun, I still feel closer to you than anyone though you are far away and I miss you.  I'm not sure what the future holds for us, but I hope I'll see you again, soon…

Kirsty paused, almost in tears.  She couldn't end the letter already, there was so much more that had to be said.  She took a deep breath, composed herself and wrote.

Sorry.  I can't end there, I need to say so much but don't know where to start, so forgive me if I don't make much sense.  Everyone says I'm wrong and selfish, and maybe I am, but I can't help who I fall in love with.  I can understand why they'd hate you, but they can't understand why I don't.  Flynn said it was trauma bonding, but I think it's more than that.  When we were in the bush together, I saw a different side to you, a more human side.  For once I had an insight, one that changed my life.  I can't ever excuse what you did, but I do realise that people shouldn't be judged for their past mistakes, after all, I'm still getting stick for what I've done in the past.  It doesn't solve anything.  You've made me happy Kane, I won't forget you and all those things you did for me, out in the bush, on the run. You are the kind, considerate person I still love.  

Forever

Kirsty

P.S Reply if you can

She signed off and no sooner had this happened, there was a knock at the door.

"Can I come in?"  It was her father.

"Wait, "said Kirsty.  She put the letter in an envelope, sealed it and placed in under her pillow.  "Come in."

Rhys braced himself; he hadn't spoken for Kirsty for three months, why would she listen any more now.  He'd promised to Shelley that he wasn't going to shout.  He was to be calm, say what he felt, and explain the consequences.  He opened the door, stared at his daughter for a moment, then spoke.

"Kirsty, we need to talk.  You can't hide in your room forever, I expect you to make an effort to be a part of the family you're trying to ruin."

"I'm not trying to ruin this family!"

Rhys was about to shout, but then lowered his voice.  "You must learn to think about the consequences of your actions.  You will stay downstairs at all times, you may only go upstairs' to sleep, dress and wash.  If you need to go to your room it will not be in excess of five minutes or else you'll find yourself going back to school."

Kirsty was in no mood to argue.  Resigned to her fate, she went downstairs.  


	23. Coping Strategies

The first signs of light were beginning to peek through Dani's window.  She was up early yet again; ever since she'd left home she'd been finding it hard to sleep.  Josh put it down to a new environment, but Dani knew different.  With Kirsty back again, it'd made her betrayal seem much more real.  With a great distance between them, Kirsty and Kane seemed part of a warped imagination.  Now she had to deal with the inevitable. She couldn't speak to her sister without getting upset, all she could think of was them together, for all those months, all those nights; it made her mentally sick.  Back at home, Kirsty was being physically sick, after an equally sleepless night.  All her dreams were the same; Kane getting shot, Kane having surgery; Kane not surviving.  She had woken up in a cold sweat, and rushed to the bathroom to throw up.  She felt empty inside, physically and mentally.  Kirsty went downstairs to get a drink of water, and nearly jumped out of her skin, seeing a dark figure slumped on the couch.  Dani.  Kirsty didn't know what to say, whether she should make conversation, or confront her sister.

"Good morning, " she said, filling the silence.  Dani jumped up.

"I was just leaving, " Dani went towards the door, and took one last look at her sister, "Kirsty, I don't know what happened to you, but I don't like it.   I never thought you could be this selfish."

"Selfish?"  Kirsty choked.  "You don't know the meaning.  Everything is always Dani this and Dani that.  It's all about Dani; don't do this, what about Dani, what will she think, remember what she's been through, poor Dani.  You can't act the victim forever, we've all moved on, we've all changed, Kane included and if you've really moved on you would at least try to understand."

"Understand?  I don't have to understand!  Don't you remember what he did?"  Dani was almost in tears.  "He raped me Kirsty, you can't even say it, but I can.  Sometimes I think you've forgotten."

"I haven't forgotten and I never will.  I hate a part of Kane for what he did to you, but I don't hate all of him, because he's changed.  He's proved it to me, and to all of you by apologising."

"You can't just apologise and make the hurt go away, it takes time, and I can't move on knowing that you had a relationship with him.  You wouldn't understand Kirsty, " and with that comment she left.  Kirsty felt another headache coming on; was she in right saying what she just said?  She would defend Kane till her last breath but that didn't change the fact that Dani had a reason to hate him, which was understandable.  Everyone had a reason to hate him, except for her.  Kirsty went upstairs, and took the letter from beneath her pillow, realising the full enormity of her decisions.   She really had but her family in a difficult position; they had good reason to hate her, yet they still loved her despite it all.  It was the same with Kane, she had a good reason to hate him, but she didn't because she loved him.  Maybe she wasn't evil after all; maybe she was just human.  Kirsty inscribed 'Kane' on the envelope, in her large loopy handwriting.

***

After everyone had left the house, Kirsty took the letter from her pocket and left for the drop in centre.  She hadn't been out of the house in days; if she saw her family, she'd say she needed a run, to get some fresh air.  The small town of Summer Bay hadn't changed, only the people.  When she got to the drop-in centre, Flynn greeted her with a smile.

"Kirsty!  How you doing?"

"Fine, " said Kirsty.  

"Are you sure?" said Flynn.  "I know it's been a difficult time for you, but you can get through it.  I could organise…"

"Actually Flynn, I wanted to ask you a favour."

"Oh really, what?"

"Could you pass this letter onto Kane for me?"  Kirsty brought the letter out of her pocket.  "It's just, I don't know his address and I think he may be back now."

"Kirsty, are you sure this is a good idea?  What would your family think, you are supposed to be moving on, not going back to the past."

"I know, and I think this letter will help me do that.  My heads really messed up now, I just needed to pour out my feelings to someone, you know?  Please help me Flynn."

Flynn thought about what to do.  Maybe if Kirsty did this, just the once, it would be enough.  "OK, I'll pass it on, but next time you need to talk, talk to me or your mother."

"Thanks, " Kirsty handed over the letter.  She felt a strange sort of freedom.  She ran back, the wind rushing through her hair, just imagining that her life was the way it was before, no secrets, no lies.  When she reached home, breathless, she was surprised by Max sitting on the steps.

 "Max!" she ran towards him.  "Why aren't you at school?"

"Didn't feel like it.  Thought I'd keep you company.  What you up to?"

"Oh nothing, just felt like a run.  You've gotta go back to school, they'll blame me."

"Oh walk on the wild side! " laughed Max.  "You ran away, remember?"

"Don't remind me."

"So what did you do for money?  Did you raid bins for food?"

Kirsty laughed.  "No, we…I got a job as a waitress.  Oh!"

"What?" 

"I just remembered something."  Kirsty ran upstairs to her backpack.  She earned a lot of money while working, well over $1000, and hadn't spent much of it while at Edwina's.  She'd been saving for their future.  She grabbed $500 out of her purse, and returned to Max.

"Woah!  Where d'ya get the bucks!" exclaimed Max.

"Well, while working I had to get paid something!"  Kirsty had an idea.  "I know!  Why don't you help me blow this money, and we'll have you back in school during recess?"

"Sounds fair to me!"

***

Kirsty returned home buzzing.  After doing some serious spending in Yabbie Creek, she'd bought some new clothes, a new pair of running shoes, and a new mobile phone as well as some gadgets for Max.  It made her feel good for a while spending time with her cousin, yet when she was alone in the house she realised.  She was an outsider yet again.  No matter what she did to distract herself, she'd still be hated.  Kirsty burst into tears yet again while running up to her room, throwing her new possessions on the floor.  She chucked her new phone on top of the wardrobe, surely breaking it.  As if Kane would ring her; as if he'd read her letter; as if anything good would happen to her again.  Kirsty collapsed onto her bed, sinking into a deep depression.


	24. Four Weeks Late

Gradually, the Sutherlands were reaching something they could call normality after a month with the new, and not-so-improved Kirsty.  Dani was still living with Josh, but came back to the house frequently for dinner, speaking to Kirsty only in short, sharp tones.  Rhys was similar, only speaking to Kirsty when he wanted chores done.  He was sick of Kirsty's new lazy attitude in the household, always complaining that she was tired or had headaches.  Shelley had also noticed Kirsty's mood swings, putting it down to hormones.  She'd suggested that Kirsty find something to do, a new job or even going back to school, but she'd bluntly refused.  She feared her daughter was wasting her life.  Jade was constantly trying to control her emotions while speaking to her sister, but that didn't stop them almost coming to blows.  

Kirsty noticed Jade looking miserable, like herself.  Trying to improve relations, she spoke, unlike Jade.  "Are you alright Jade?"  

"Oh you know.  Stomach cramps, " said Jade bluntly.  Kirsty was prepared to offer some sort of reassurance, when she realised; normally Jade and her were synchronised in that department, but not at the moment.  In fact, Kirsty had been almost four weeks late.  She knew what this could mean, the inevitable teenage sin, but then doubt set in.  Things like this didn't happen to her, they happened to the other stupid teenagers on the chat shows she watched.  It couldn't be possible, her and Jade had been apart for a while resulting in their current lack of synchronisation. Kirsty cast her mind back to just over a month ago, her birthday.  They were safe then.  Yet another thought haunted Kirsty.  They weren't safe the day after; she was going to get the morning after pill from the chemist in town, but she forgotten.  With the whole party escapade, resulting in Kane getting shot, their night together had vanished from Kirsty's mind.  Now she wasn't well, she was having headaches, she was tired and constantly throwing up.  It was a feeling she'd never felt before.  It had to be pregnancy.  

"Kirsty, I'm sorry I've been so mad at you, " said Jade, realising that staying angry didn't solve anything.  "I'm just confused, I don't know what to do."

"I understand, " said a preoccupied Kirsty.

"So, what was it like when you ran away?"  Jade was trying to find out what had been prying on her mind.  Although she disliked Kane, she still wanted to know how he'd ended up getting shot.

"It was good and bad at times.  A real roller coaster ride of emotions."

 "Do you regret it?" asked Jade.

Kirsty hadn't even begun to think of the implications if she were pregnant.  Her family would hate her, but perhaps she'd be able to see Kane.  It could work out in her favour.  "No, " said Kirsty.  "Actually Jade, I'm just gonna get some air."

"Do you want me tom come with you?"  If Jade spoke to her sister more, maybe she'd understand her reasoning.

"No, you rest.  You'll need it, " said Kirsty ironically.  Kirsty saw pregnancy as something, which made people very fat and very tired, very quickly.  She had to be sure; she would get a pregnancy test from the chemist in Yabbie Creek.  Hopefully no one would see her.  Jade smiled as Kirsty left.  Maybe, if she just overlooked her actions, they could form some sort of relationship again.  She needed someone to talk to, even if her sister was in the wrong.

***

Kirsty went to a public toilet, after buying the test.  It was a nightmare, she handed it to the shop assistant, who'd given her such a dirty look, trying to figure out her age.  It would have made Kirsty cry if she hadn't been so nervous.  The test took fifteen minutes to work, fifteen agonising minutes to tell her the outcome of the rest of her life.  Would it be simple or complicated, full of separation or happiness?  Kirsty looked at her watch again.  Ten minutes gone.  This was the most nervous wait for a test result in her life, it couldn't even compete with one Flathead had given her.  Kirsty would've taken a thousand tests, if it meant she didn't have to take this one.  She paced around the small cubicle.  She'd certainly felt different over the last couple of weeks, why hadn't she thought of taking the test sooner?  Keep calm, thought Kirsty.  The test could be negative; it was a possibility.  Kirsty willed it to be; she yearned for the second blue line confirming pregnancy to be non-existent.   She looked at the test.  Slowly, the first blue line started to appear.  Kirsty's heard beated fast, waiting for the second line that she dreaded.  She was ready to breathe a sigh of relief, when a second blue line appeared on the test, faster than the previous, running along the test window out of control.  She was pregnant.  Kirsty didn't know whether to laugh or cry; her life was a sorry state of affairs.  Her family, who'd just begun to tolerate her, would hate her again; her friends would be even more imaginary than they were now.  All she'd have was Kane, but even he hadn't replied to her letter, she didn't know how he'd react.  She had a part of him, still inside her, a part that significantly needed her. Kirsty may have felt alone, but she wasn't; she baby inside her developing more and more everyday.


	25. Wondering what to do

The next day, Kirsty was still reeling from the results of the test; she finally had an excuse for her strange new behaviour.   She'd hardly slept worrying; she didn't know what she was going to do.  There were only three options, keep the baby, adoption or an abortion.  Kirsty didn't know whether she could be a mother, she was still a kid herself.  Her future would be difficult, and she'd have to tell her parents and expect their support.  That was unlikely since the father was someone they detested.  And where was the father?  Kane still hadn't replied to her letter.  Although Kirsty's maternal urge was undetectable, she didn't know whether she could give a baby, her baby, away.  That only left one option, an equally scary option.  Kirsty may have supported abortion before, but when put in this situation, it seemed far more difficult.  Having the baby inside her made her feel somewhat closer to Kane, the one she loved.  If she killed it, she'd be killing a part of herself and a part of Kane.  It made Kirsty feel uncomfortable, having his baby inside her made her feel closer to him.

Kirsty rolled out of bed after hearing a knock at the door. It was Saturday, so the house would be full of her ever-loving family.

"Kirsty, it's me Jade.  Can I come in?" 

"Yeah, " replied Kirsty.  She tried to look as normal as she could, fearing Jade would guess her dirty secret, just from seeing her face.  Jade entered, smiling half-heartedly.  

"I wondered if you wanted to come to the diner with us today.  You haven't been out with us for ages."

"Nah, I don't think I'll go."

"But what are you going to do all day?  You can't just stay in the house."

"I won't.  I was going to go to the drop-in centre today."  Kirsty wanted to ask Flynn if Kane had replied or anything.  Perhaps he didn't know the address.

"Well I could come too, there might be something happening down there."

"No Jade.  I'd prefer to be on my own if that's okay."

"Fine.  It'd be good for you to talk to Flynn."  Jade wanted to make more of an effort with Kirsty.  Her mother had spoken to her about her behaviour and thought that Kirsty needed more support.  Jade suspected that her mother wanted her to persuade Kirsty to return to school.  She'd be a year behind, but could still catch up eventually.  As her sister left the room, Kirsty looked at her body in the mirror.  Perhaps it was just paranoia, but Kirsty swore her jeans felt tighter and she could see a fraction of a bump in her reflection.  Kirsty covered herself up with a baggy t-shirt, and went downstairs.   Dani, sitting down to breakfast with her mother and Brodie, greeted her.  

"Hello Kirsty, " said her mother.

"Hi, " said Dani.  The atmosphere was awkward.  Kirsty could feel herself blushing furiously for many reasons.  She knew she'd upset her the last time they'd spoken properly.  Kirsty had avoided her until this moment.

"Hi, " replied Kirsty.  Dani smiled at her sister.  Since Kane was out of the picture, she felt that she could make her peace with her sister.   It would be difficult however, knowing that she had loved him.  

"Kirsty would you like some breakfast?  I made pancakes."  Kirsty nodded and sat down.  Dani probably thought that everything would get back to normal soon, she'd start speaking to her sister again, then move back in.  If only she knew that normality was not an option, and would never be an option.  

"So Kirsty, how have you been?"  Dani said, seemingly acting as if nothing had happened.

"Fine.  A bit bored."

"Well maybe we should do something sometime.  I fancy going to Wonderland, they have this new rollercoaster there."

"Yeah, apparently it's meant to be really good, Hayley went on it last week.  You should see the photos!" exclaimed Brodie.

"Well we could go there tomorrow, " said Shelley.  "I'm free.  I could ask Rhys if he wants to come."  Kirsty stopped chewing her food.  She knew enough about pregnancy to know that she shouldn't be going on rollercoasters.  Normally she loved them.  Kirsty quickly finished her food, excused herself and left for the drop-in centre.  

***

Flynn sat in his office daydreaming.  It was a peaceful Saturday afternoon, the centre was quiet and Flynn finally had the chance for a good think.  Little did he know that Kirsty would interrupt his thoughts.  She was desperate to know if Kane had left a letter with him, perhaps they could sort something out.  Flynn answered the knock at his door, expecting someone else.

"Hi Kirsty, how's it going?"

"Yeah fine, I was wondering if Kane replied to my letter?"

Flynn froze.  He hadn't given Kane the letter; he didn't want to anger Shelley again.  Perhaps it would let her down gently if she thought Kane hadn't replied.  "No sorry, he hasn't."

"Oh."  Kirsty was crestfallen.  He would have replied if he loved her.  Now she was lost, she couldn't hide her pregnancy forever.  Kirsty left the drop-in centre, holding back her tears not knowing what to do.   A few miles away, Kane lay in his bed thinking of Kirsty, not knowing what to do either.  His aunt had forbidden him from seeing her; he was too much trouble, but he had to see her.  He would walk along the beach every day, just for a lucky glimpse of her.  The separate couple needed each other more than ever now, Kane sensed this and decided that they wouldn't be apart for much longer.  


	26. Your Pregnancy

Jade made a decision to move back into Kirsty's room and back into her life.  She hated staying on her own in Dani's room and had a sneaky suspicion that Dani would be coming back home.  Living with Josh wasn't all it was cracked up to be, she'd revealed, and she felt that she needed to make her peace with Kirsty.  Jade agreed.  She'd felt sorry for her sister all alone in the house and feared she was depressed.  Kirsty always ran to the bathroom, without fail every morning, and stayed there for well over half an hour.  Jade feared she was throwing up her food, like she had done once.   She'd noticed Kirsty was getting more paranoid about her weight; she wasn't wearing the tighter clothes she used to and was always looking in the mirror; yet she was eating a lot.  Jade went downstairs to say goodbye to her sister, before leaving for school.

"Bye Kirst!"

"Bye, " replied Kirsty.  Kirsty leapt onto the office chair, and switched on the computer.  Finally, all of her family were either at home or school, so she could do some internet research.  She needed to find out more about her predicament, and do some serious thinking.  Kirsty opened a search engine, and typed in 'pregnancy'.  Thousands of websites came up, overwhelming Kirsty, but eventually she clicked on a helpful sounding one titled 'Your Pregnancy.'  It had numerous pictures of cute babies, being held by smiling parents, and women looking thoughtfully at their oversized stomachs.  'Your Pregnancy', saw pregnancy as a happy time, which should be shared and treasured by all, which contrasted with Kirsty's view that it was making her sore and ill.  Kirsty clicked on a link, 'The first 8 weeks.'  She now had the enlightening information that her baby was the size of a fingernail, with buds as the beginnings as arms and legs, which was the reason for her tiredness and her frequent need to pee.   The site included those all-important facts, that she should get the local water tested as it may not be safe and that steamed milk was the equivalent of a coffee.  It all seemed a lot for Kirsty to take in; the site was so positive and cheerful and for a split-second Kirsty believed that everything could be okay.  If only wondering what colour to paint the nursery was her greatest worry, and not how to tell her parents.  She'd have to see a doctor soon and make a decision, and somehow talk to Kane.  It was his baby too, he should at least have a say in the matter.  Kirsty hastily printed off the website page, and was surprised to hear her mother come in.

"Hi Kirsty, I thought I'd finish work early and see how you were, " said Shelley.  Kirsty quickly closed down the internet, yanked the piece of paper out the printer, and stuffed it in her jeans pocket.  "What were you doing Kirsty?"  Shelley feared that somehow her daughter was contacting Kane.

"Oh, I was just looking at TAFE courses.  Just in case."

Shelley was overjoyed.  "I'm so glad you're thinking about going back to school.  It really is a good idea Kirst, you should go for it."

Kirsty was glad she threw her mum off the scent.  She wanted to be a P.E teacher, but that was unlikely due to her current state.  Shelley hugged her daughter, glad that something was finally going right in her family for a change.


	27. Only One Answer

Kirsty noticed that Jade was trying to make more of an effort with her, which didn't suit her at all.  She had dragged Kirsty to the diner, when an afternoon staring into space would have suited her perfectly.  She didn't feel like talking to people, so was hardly overjoyed to see Nick and Seb sitting at a table.

"Hi Kirsty, " said Nick, with his usual cheeky grin.

"Long time no see, " said Seb.

"Likewise, " said Kirsty.  She sat opposite Seb, while Jade sat facing Nick.   Jade and Nick proceeded in acting the perfect couple, leaving Kirsty and Seb to sit with each other while they canoodled at a table nearby.

"That's nice of her, " said Kirsty.  "Invite your sister out, and then ignore her."

"That's how life is, "said Seb nonchalantly.  "So how are you anyway?  We haven't seen you down here since you got back."

"I'm fine, " lied Kirsty.  Of course she wasn't fine, this pregnancy thing was hardly pleasant.  She changed the subject.  "I'm hungry, I fancy cake, do you want some cake?"  Kirsty wasn't lying now.  She'd heard about cravings during pregnancy, and now she definitely needed some chocolate cake.  Leaving Seb, she went up to the counter and ordered cake, from an inquisitive Colleen.

"So that's chocolate cake you'd like Kirsty Sutherland, it was baked fresh today, it's got an awful lot of calories," piped Colleen, as she cut a large piece of cake.  "Where did you go to for three months, I hope you weren't off with a mystery boyfriend, I'm surprised your parents didn't bother to find you sooner.  And why aren't you doing homework or doing your chores, instead of ordering chocolate cake, frittering away your parents money?  What is the world coming to?!" 

"It's my money actually, " said Kirsty as she snatched the cake.

"Oooh I say!"  Colleen went back into the kitchen, no doubt to gossip about Kirsty's apparent rudeness to Alf.  Kirsty went to sit back down, and started devouring her piece of cake.

"Wow, that's a lot of cake!" said Nick, looking over.  "Can I have some?"

"Get your own!" exclaimed Kirsty.  No one was going to take her cake away from her. 

"Oooh touchy."

"You can get your own cake if you'd like Nick, " said Jade trying to keep the peace.  "Nick suggested we go to Irene's afterwards, for videos and pizza."

"Yeah, and Irene's got loads of alcohol in the house, she wouldn't notice if some went missing.  She's staying with Paris all week, we'll have the house to ourselves Jade."  Kirsty felt physically sick, seeing Jade kiss Nick, and looked at Seb abruptly, a slightly less sickening option.

"Can we go already?!"

***

At Irene's the atmosphere wasn't much better, with the Jade, Seb and Nick gorging on alcohol, and Kirsty gorging on pizza.  Jade was trying to show her wild side, much to the annoyance of Kirsty, and was canoodling with Nick at every opportunity.  

"Kirsty, why aren't you drinking anything?" enquired Nick, in between kissing Jade.  "Anyone would think you were the sensible twin!"

"I'm lining the stomach, " said Kirsty with her mouth full.  "Anyway, isn't it a bit early to be drinking, haven't you got school tomorrow?"

"School, Schmul, I'm having fun and it's about time you did too!"

Kirsty winced as he started kissing Jade again.  She used to be kissed like that, better than that, more than that.  Kirsty sighed.  She longed to be kissed again; she longed to see Kane.  

"So, how you doin?" asked Seb.  Great, thought Kirsty.  The last thing she needed was a drunken Seb, drooling over her.  

"Haven't you asked me this already?"

"Hmmmm, well I'm asking you again."  Seb held out his bottle to Kirsty.  "Here, try this.  It's wicked."

"Seb don't be such a dag, I'm not drinking anything."  Drinking wasn't best recommended in pregnancy.  She didn't want to hurt the baby, she still thought of it as a part of Kane.  

"Well, well, well, Kirsty, look at them."  He gestured to Jade and Nick canoodling behind the sofa.  "They're having fun.  Why can't we have fun?"  Seb started touching Kirsty's knee, Kirsty grimaced.

"Get off me Seb."  She kicked him.  "Listen Jade I'm sick of this; I'm going home.  I never wanted to come out with you anyway."

Jade popped up from behind the sofa, a little flustered.  "Wait, we haven't watched the movie yet."

"I don't care, I've got more important things to think about!"

"I thought you liked this type of thing, " said Jade.  "Didn't you do all this stuff before you went away?  What's happened to you?"

"I've grown up, " said Kirsty.  "And I think you should too."

"Whatever, " said Jade, going back to Nick.  Kirsty left Irene's, feeling slightly queasy.  Jade rarely wanted to get drunk before, it seemed like they'd had a role reversal.  Kirsty used to love doing wild things, but after being away she'd put things into perspective.  It wasn't really worth it.  

***

Shelley sorted the last load of washing, while thinking about Kirsty's change of heart.  Finally a sense of stability and discipline would be installed into her daughter.  Her family was on the road to recovery, and with Christmas coming up soon it seemed that this year would be perfect.  Shelley checked in the pockets of the clothes as she loaded them into the washing machine, and to her annoyance, a folded piece of paper had been left in Kirsty's jeans.  These children, she thought, I've told them time and time again to check their pockets.  If Shelley hadn't noticed a certain word on the piece of paper, she wouldn't have unfolded it, but she did.  It showed a blue title, 'Your Pregnancy- the first eight weeks.'  Shelley studied the page for a moment, and racked her brains trying to think of an alternative reason why Kirsty might have it.  A school project?  No, she didn't go to school.  Maybe for a friend?  It was unlikely.  Shelley had a moment of realisation.  Jade had come to her earlier, telling her that she thought Kirsty was bulimic.  She was eating loads, and regularly being sick.  Put together with her new lethargic attitude, and sudden reluctance for rollercoasters, and you had one answer.  Pregnancy.


	28. Confrontation

As Kirsty approached the caravan park, she felt the strongest urge to be sick.  Not content with giving her morning sickness, her body was now giving her afternoon and evening sickness.  She felt worse than her so-called friends would be feeling in the morning.  She rushed inside her home to think over possible confession scenarios, not noticing her mother brooding outside, also thinking of how to approach her daughter without growing angry.  Eventually, she went upstairs to confront her, with each step increasing her nerves.  She knocked on the door and croaked a faint 'Can I come in?' before opening the door.  Kirsty quickly tried to compose herself, not wanting to arouse suspicion.

"Hi Mum.  Did you want something?"

Shelley took a deep breath, feigning calmness.  She needed to be as controlled as she could; this conversation was going to be the hardest she ever took part in.  "Yes.  I found this in your jeans pocket."  She held the printout from Your Pregnancy, which Kirsty had meant to hide away.  Kirsty felt another sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.  She had been found out.  "Are you pregnant Kirsty?"  She couldn't lie any longer; it had to come out sooner or later.  Now she could make decisions.

"Yes, " said Kirsty.  "I am."  It felt more real saying it.

Shelley hated hearing the inevitable.  "And why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared, I knew you'd be mad."

"Mad?  Well that's an understatement."  Shelley could hardly look at her daughter.  How could she?  "And I suppose its Kane's?"  Kirsty nodded.  "How could you do that?  Did he force you?"

"No!  We love each other…"

"But he didn't love you enough to use protection?"

"It's not his fault."  Kirsty cast her mind back.  Kane was worried by their lack of protection, but she said she'd 'sort it out' but she never did.  "It's my fault, I was going to go to the doctors but then the whole shooting thing happened.  It went out of my head."

"But you went to a hospital Kirsty!  Surely that reminded you?"

Kirsty fell speechless.  A hospital should have struck a chord, but she was so worried about Kane.  "I was worried about him Mum.  When you're worried you forget everything else."

Shelley composed herself again.  "So how long have you known?  Days?  Weeks? Months?"

"Only about a week ago."

"And you weren't even thinking of telling me?  You didn't even think of the safety implications of not telling anyone?  How stupid can you be Kirsty?"

"I'm not stupid!"

"Well getting pregnant at sixteen seems pretty stupid.  You've got your whole life ahead of you.  Have you made a decision yet?"  Kirsty fell silent.

"Don't even think it Mum."  Kirsty knew how much her mother loathed Kane.  "I'm keeping my baby."

"Nice to see you're thinking Kirsty.  Where are you going to live?  How will you survive?  What will Dani think?"

"Oh, I waited for her name to come up, and you've surpassed yourself.   You've lasted almost a full five minutes.  I'm not killing my baby because of her."

"I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that you should do it for yourself.  You're just a child Kirsty."  Shelley could feel the emotions stirring up inside of her.  Some many kids she's worked with had got into this situation.  Now it was her daughter.  "Just think about it, please?  I'll make an appointment at the surgery for tomorrow and we can discuss this further."  Shelley left the room, not wanting to be close to her daughter.  It sickened her; Kirsty sleeping with _him_.  It was beyond understanding.  


	29. It’s My Decision

"Kirsty Sutherland, step onto the stretcher.  The doctor will see you now."  Kirsty rolled onto the stretcher.  She could hardly see in front of her because of her bump, which was getting considerably large. She felt an invisible force push her down the endless hospital corridor.  She was getting faster, going past familiar faces, Seb, Nick, Fisher, Max, her father; she saw all of their dirty looks, jeering her as she travelled faster.  She speeded past Kane, who didn't even glance at her.  He was just a blur.  He didn't love her.  She wanted to cry, but nothing happened.  She wanted to scream, but no sound came out. She saw a wall before her.  She was going to crash.  

"Stop, please stop, "cried Kirsty.  "I'm sorry!"  All of a sudden, everything switched to slow motion; she was getting closer to the wall; she was going to die, along with her baby.  She felt as if she were floating down the corridor, she would be peaceful; perhaps death would be better than her torment.  Prepared for a crash, Kirsty was surprised to see Dani stop the hospital trolley.  She looked angry.

"How could you Kirsty?  How could you sleep with him?  How could you be such a traitor?  You're sick Kirsty, I hate you!"  Dani looked manic, as she repeatedly punched Kirsty.   Her hair was crazy and wild, her face covered in streaks of mascara.

"Stop it!  You're gonna hurt my baby!"

"I can't let you have it Kirsty, I can't let you."

Kirsty felt every punch, and howled in pain.  "Stop it Dani!  Kane, where are you?  Come back!"  Kirsty kicked Dani off her stretcher, who collapsed onto the floor.  Kirsty breathed a sigh of relief.  She was safe.  As if by magic, she was being pushed again, not in slow motion, but extremely quickly.  The wall at the end of the corridor was disappearing.    She really was going to die.  

Kirsty woke up screaming.

"Kirsty, what's wrong?" asked Jade.  "You were talking in your sleep."  

Kirsty suppressed her tears.  She was so glad to be alive.  As absurd as the dream was, it seemed real.  "What did you hear?" she asked.

"You were screaming, 'come back' and 'stop it'.  What was happening?"

"Oh nothing, I was just being pushed around."

"That's not like you, " smiled Jade.  "I've moved back in here if that's okay.  I've got a killer headache after last night, I can't remember anything I did with Nick."

"Did you sleep with him?" asked Kirsty.

"No!  As if I would, that is totally slutty!"  Kirsty felt uneasy as Jade laughed at her sisters absurd comment.  "I wouldn't do that, I mean I've just turned sixteen, there's no rush.  Anyway, I'd better have a shower.  I hope I can concentrate in class today."  Jade left the room, leaving Kirsty feeling worse.  Was she slutty?  She'd slept with Kane as soon as she'd turned sixteen, and now she was pregnant.  Her friends would hate her; she'd get a reputation as a slut around Summer Bay.  She'd be compared to her angelic sister constantly.  Perhaps the nightmare was just reflecting reality; Kane had shunned her and Dani would want her to have an abortion.  Kirsty heard a knock at the door.  Her mother looked coldly at her daughter.

"I made an appointment for 9:30, so make sure you're reading by quarter past."  Shelley left, as quickly as she entered.  She never would've thought that she'd have to cope with this situation.  It was beyond belief.  She didn't know what to do, she shouldn't force her daughter into abortion, but it may be the only option.

***

Kirsty stared at the waiting room tiles of the antenatal clinic.  They were square, with hexagonal patterns that could make someone ill by persistent staring, probably put there deliberately to make young girls talk to their mothers while waiting.  Kirsty hadn't spoken to her mother since breakfast; neither knew what to say to each other.  She looked around the waiting room, full of expectant mothers at varying stages of their pregnancy, some with partners, some without.  Most looked happy, if not slightly tired.  None looked at Kirsty.  She was just another teenage pregnancy statistic.

"Kirsty Sutherland?"  A midwife came out of her room.  "Can you come in please?"  Kirsty followed her, along with her mother.  She looked friendly enough.

"Good morning, I'm Dr Kay, and I'll be your midwife if you decide to continue with your pregnancy.  Do you think you would like to continue with your pregnancy?"

"Yes, " said Kirsty at the same time her mother said a firm "No."  They looked at each other in resentment.

"Kirsty isn't sure what she wants to do, but termination is an option she will think about, " said Shelley struggling to keep calm.

"It is not an option Mum, I'm keeping my baby, " said Kirsty.  "It's my decision." 

Dr Kay looked uneasy.  "Well I'm sure you can discuss this amongst yourselves.  I'll have to run a couple of tests, and ask a few questions, it's just routine really."

"Fine, " asserted Kirsty.

"I'll need a urine sample."  Kirsty tried not to look taken aback.  She needed to prove to her mother that she understood pregnancy.  She went off to the toilet seemingly unfazed.  

***

After a while, Dr Kay had finished running her tests on the sample, and asking Kirsty questions. She didn't know about Kane's side of the family, so couldn't comment on it.

"Well going on the information you have given me Kirsty, I can indicate that you are around six weeks pregnant, and your baby is due in early August, " she said.  "We can make another appointment to see how you are getting on.  I'm also going to refer you to another clinic, so you discuss all of your options.  You are quite young, so I think it I important for you to think about whether you want to have this baby."

"I do, " said Kirsty.  "More than anything."  For the first time, she felt special.  She had her baby inside her.  That meant everything.  No one was going to take it away.

"My daughter has not considered all of the implications yet, I think her hormones are affecting her thinking, " said Shelley.

"Well Kirsty, I hope the pamphlets can help you make a decision and I'd also like you to take some of the advice about medication and exercise.  I'll make another appointment for three weeks to see what you've decided."  Kirsty left the surgery, clutching the booklets.  Shelley sighed.

"Kirsty, I want you to think seriously about a termination.  Having a baby is going to be difficult, without a father and financial support.  I will support you, but there are so many implications.  Your education, space and such.  I hope your thinking about this."

"I have and I'm going to have this baby, whatever it takes.  I'll get a job, work extra shifts, I'll live in one of our caravans if there's not enough room."

"Well, to give you time to think, I think it'd be best if you went to the city for a couple of days to stay with the grandparents.  There are more clinics, and everything can happen much quicker than in Summer Bay.   I think it'd be best if you were hidden, before you make your decision."

"What?" exclaimed Kirsty.  "I've already thought about it!"

"I don't think you have.  If you decide not to go, I'm telling your father, and we all know how he'd react."  Kirsty froze.  Her father had just started saying whole phrases to her; she didn't want to ruin her relationship with him completely.

"When do I leave?"

"Tomorrow."


	30. Wishing

The city seemed a cheerful prospect for Kirsty, compared with Summer Bay at the moment.  Her mother had forbidden her to tell anybody about her predicament, yet was constantly reminded by her grim glances.  As Kirsty packed her things, she feared that her mother was thinking worse thoughts.  She'd heard stories of pregnant girls going away, and returning home not pregnant.  Perhaps her mother would make her have the baby in the city, then give it away to some long-lost aunt.  Kirsty took Kane's ring out of her jewellery box.  She wanted to keep it close to her, for good luck.  Kirsty heard a knock at the door.  Dani.

"Hi Kirsty, I thought I'd just drop by before school, " she said, nervous.  "I hear you're gonna visit the grandparents.  Give them my love."

"I will, " said Kirsty, feeling slightly guilty.  She didn't know whether to apologise, or just blank her.  It was so hard knowing her secret would destroy her.  

"I'm gonna go to school now, " said Dani.

"Have fun."

"Bye then."  Dani left the room, disappointed.  Perhaps she was expecting a feeble attempt at an apology from her sister, or at least another argument.  She didn't seem to care.  Kirsty waited a while before she went downstairs; she couldn't avoid her mother forever.  She was eating for two.  Helping herself to some pancakes, she sat down, hardly glancing at her mother.  Shelley felt the need to break the silence.

"How are you feeling today Kirsty?" she asked.  "A little tired perhaps?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"I remember when I was pregnant.  I was tired all the time, especially with you twins, " Shelley paused, waiting for a reaction to her new approach.  There was none.  "Luckily I had Rhys."

"What are you getting at Mum?" asked Kirsty.  "Because your new approach to talk me into abortion isn't working."

"I'm not trying to talk you into it, I'm just trying to say that I don't regret having you…"

"But you wish you hadn't?  That's nice Mum.  Well there's a difference here, my baby is wanted.  By me."

"What about Kane?  Would he want to look after a baby?"  Shelley had Kirsty backed into a corner.  Someone like Kane could never be a father.  

"He might.  I just need to talk to him."

"But he hasn't contacted you Kirsty, he wants nothing to do with you."

"So you're saying I should kill my baby because it won't have a father?  There are millions of single mums in the world, and they survive.  I can be like them."

"Really? " said Shelley.  "So you want to live off state handouts in some grotty apartment, no job, no life.  Is that how you want to live?  There'll be no going back."

"I'll survive on little money, you don't have to be rich to be a parent."

"But is this what you really want Kirsty?  Don't just keep the baby to get back at us, or Dani."

"Everything is because of Dani isn't it!  Kill the baby because of Dani, keep the baby to hurt Dani.  I'm keeping it for me and me only."  Kirsty slammed her glass onto the table.  "I'm going for a walk."

"Where are you going?"

"To get some air."

***

It was a calm day in Summer Bay, the waves rolling gently through the sea.  A few people were lazing around the beach, which didn't suit Kirsty.  She wanted to be alone.  She went right towards the edge of the wharf, and stared intently into the blue-green sea.  If she jumped off, perhaps the pain would go away.  She could be with her baby, without oppression or extra worries.  Perhaps all her problems would be solved; her parents could forget about the daughter they hated and move on.  Kane would never know.  Kirsty sat down and began to cry.  Her life was such a mess.  No one cared.  Everyone wanted to make decisions for her.  She didn't really want to die.  Surely, that would be worse than abortion.  She'd die a hypocrite.  She needed to talk to someone, anyone.  Little did she know that the answer to her problems was behind her, who'd never stopped caring.  He came by the wharf every day, just for a glimpse of her.  He saw a familiar figure sitting down in the distance. Was today his lucky day?  It looked like her hair colour; it could be her.  Kane ran towards the figure, which turned around after hearing footsteps.  Kirsty could hardly believe her eyes.  It was him.  They were instantly drawn together in an embrace, no words, just a silent understanding.  It was as if it was all those months ago, when they'd finally realised they were in love.  If only they could go back to that time.  They broke apart after a while, not knowing where to start.  Kane looked at Kirsty intently, she'd been crying.

"What's wrong?"

This was the moment Kirsty had been dreading.


	31. Upon the Wharf

"Kane, I'm pregnant."  Kirsty looked into his eyes, searching for a hint of an answer.  She wished it, yearned for it not to be an answer of rejection.  A few moments passed, Kane not knowing quite what to say to make Kirsty feel better.  It was a shock to say the least.  

"Um."  That was all he could say.  A stupid word, which meant nothing.  How else could he sum up the whirlwind of thoughts going round in his head? Pregnancy meant a baby, a baby meant fatherhood.  Kane had never really experienced a father's love; could he give it to someone else?

"Um?  Kane is that all you can say?" asked an anxious Kirsty.

"Well what happened then?"

"I think you know what happened Kane.  We slept together."  Kane sat down on the wharf, his head in his hands.

"They'll think it's all my fault.  Have you told your parents?"  

"Only my mum knows.  She wants me to have an abortion."  Kirsty began to cry.

"An abortion?"  Kane wasn't sure what he wanted.  He was still pretty young, he wasn't sure if he was the fatherly type, yet he couldn't help thinking.  A baby could be good for him, like Kirsty was.  When was he going to have an opportunity like this again?  "Kirst, don't cry, Shhhh."  Kirsty sat down next to Kane, who rested her head on his chest.

"But I don't want to kill it.  It's my baby Kane, our baby."

"I'll support you Kirsty, you know I will.  I love you, I never stopped."

Kirsty turned to look at him.  "What about my letter?  You never replied."

"What letter?"

"The one I told Flynn to give you."

"He hasn't spoken to me since I got back.  What did it say?"

"Oh just stuff."  That was an understatement.  Kirsty needed to share her feelings, yet Flynn didn't help her.  He lied.  Some counsellor he was.   "How are you after what happened?"

"I'm alright.  I went back to my old job last week; I'm lucky they had me back.  My aunts visiting her friend in Perth for a while so I'm mostly on my own."

"Wow.  That seems like heaven after being in a house where my mother hates me, yet everyone is nice to me because they don't know.  I'm gonna have to tell them sooner or later.  Everyone will know."

"Looks like we'll be gossiped about for a while yet, " said Kane.  "Should I come round and talk to your parents?  At least they'll know I'm taking responsibility."

"Not yet, I've gotta break the news to everyone else first.  My mum wants to send me to the city so I can 'think about things.'  She doesn't listen to me."

"Well you know you can always talk to me.  My phone works now, the numbers still the same."

"Good, " smiled Kirsty.  She knew she was happy again, now she had Kane's support.  She could tackle anything with him.

"How far are you gone then?"

"Only six weeks, it still feels weird, but I'm starting to get used to it.  Can you believe we're going to be parents?  There's no way I'm gonna be like my parents."

"Likewise.  Looks like we'll have to grow up properly now.  I'll probably have to make an honest woman of you now!"

Kirsty laughed.  "Is that the Phillips way of proposing, because it's pretty vague!"

"We'll see, " grinned Kane.  "We'll see."

The couple lay on the wharf for a while, just enjoyed each other's company.  They both felt happy; Kane because his life was never going to be lonely, and Kirsty because she was back with Kane.  Neither of them knew what lay ahead but both were sure that their relationship would stand the test of time.  Kirsty dreamily glanced at her watch.  

"Oh damn, I was meant to be back ages ago.  My mums gonna be so annoyed, we've probably missed our train.  Our cars in the garage, so that's the only way I could get there.  I've gotta go Kane."  Kirsty hurriedly got up and tried to arrange her windswept hair.

"Wait."  Kane got up.  "When will I see you again?"

"I dunno, I'll try to call you.  I'll let you know how it goes."  Kirsty tried to kiss Kane quickly, but it was too hard to break away.  It pained her to finally leave him.

***

 When Kirsty arrived home, her mother was far from pleased.  It was late afternoon, and no more trains were running at the moment.

"Kirsty where did you go?" asked Shelley.

"To get some air like I said."

"That was hours ago, you could have come back."

"I lost track of time Mum, it happens."

"Well you can't go to the city this week, I'm too busy over here to take you."

"Well I don't need to go there because I'm keeping the baby!"  Kirsty waited for her mother to stop staring but then she realised. Her mother was looking at someone behind her.  

"Hello Colleen, " said Shelley nervously, but calmly.  "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to figure out what's going on Shelley Sutherland, " she piped.  "I was only coming here to tell you about the leaky tap in my caravan.  Honestly, what's happening to Summer Bay?  Promiscuity, that's what it is!  Kirsty Sutherland, pregnant at sixteen!  Sixteen!  In my day we didn't even know where babies came from at sixteen!"

"Perhaps that's the problem, " said a stern Shelley.  Kirsty ignored her mothers jibe.

"Well I won't keep your sordid little chat from continuing, I'm going to the diner, " and before Shelley could reply, she left.

"Great, " said Kirsty.  "The whole of Summer Bay will know by tomorrow."

"Well Kirsty, it's up to you to tell the rest of your family first, " said Shelley.  "It's your predicament, so you deal with everyone's reactions."


	32. Telling them all

As Jade walked towards her home, laughing with Nick, she noticed a frustrated Colleen walking towards her.  She would have ignored her, if she hadn't bumped into her.

"You could say sorry, " said Nick.  "You did crash into her first."

"I might have known you'd be out with your boyfriend Jade Sutherland, lets hope you haven't been as irresponsible as your sister, " whinged Colleen.

"What do you mean by that?" asked a bemused Jade.

"I'm sure you'll find out soon enough."  Jade shot a bewildered look at Nick, as Colleen scuttled away.  

"What do you reckon Kirsty's done now?" said Jade.  "No doubt she's run off to join the circus or something."  As they reached home, they laughed about the possible escapades Kirsty could have gotten into, nowhere near the real truth.  The atmosphere changed as they saw a silent Kirsty, staring at the lifeless television, and her mother with her head in her hands.

"Don't you have to switch the television on to watch it Kirst?" said Jade, receiving no answer.  Nick noticed the tension.

"Actually, I think I'd better go.  I'll see you tomorrow."  Jade nodded, kissed Nick on the cheek and stood, halfway between her sister and her mother.

"What's going on here then?  Is this something to do with what Colleen said?"

Kirsty sprang up.  "What did Colleen say to you?  Has she been spreading gossip again?"

"Not yet but she probably will be."  Jade was confused yet again.

"Perhaps you'd like to tell your sister what's going on Kirsty, " said a detached Shelley.  "I'm sure that'll provoke a reaction."

Taking a deep breath, Kirsty began to speak.  "Jade, I'm pregnant."

"You're what?"  Jade's calm resolve faded.  "And I suppose its Kane's?"

"Yes it is."  One down, millions to go, thought Kirsty.  Perhaps she could have a daily target of people to tell.

"How could you do this Kirsty?  All this time we were worried about you, and you were with him.  You're sick."

"Blah, blah, blah, how could I be so irresponsible? I might as well moan at myself."

"I'm going to find Nick."

"Tell him if you want!"  Kirsty shouted as Jade left.  "Tell everyone, because you know what?  I don't give a damn anymore!"

"Now look what you've done Kirsty, " said Shelley.  "That attitude is hardly going to help."

"Well neither is Jade's!"  Kirsty stormed upstairs, and began to cry in the privacy of her own room.  Now all she had to tell was her father and Dani.

***

Shelley decided to tell Rhys and Dani about Kirsty's pregnancy, since her daughter was being so haphazard about it.  She waited, and wondered who would come home first; each person was no more difficult to tell than the other.  Rhys would be fuming, and would probably demand to kill Kane after shouting at Kirsty.  Dani, well, she wasn't sure how she'd react.  It was the most unexpected thing that could happen.  It took a while for Shelley to realise that she hadn't cooked anything.  She searched the fridge and tried to think of something she could create with cheese, broccoli and a carrot.  She didn't have long to think before her husband returned, looking unusually pleased with himself.  

"Good evening Mrs Sutherland, and might I say you are looking lovely this evening, " said Rhys, wrapping his arms around his emotionless wife.

"You look happy, " she said, drained.  "Have you had a good day?"

"Great, " smiled Rhys.  "I've been to the bank and think that we finally have enough money for a decent holiday.  Abroad."

"That's wonderful."

"How was your day?  Weren't you meant to be taking Kirsty away?"

Shelley didn't know how to start.  "We've had a change of plan.  You see, I haven't been entirely honest with you about her.  I was sending her to the grandparents because I wanted to give her time to think."  She took a deep breath, "Because she's pregnant."

Rhys' rare smile faded gradually.  "You're joking?"

"As if I would."

"And nobody thought to tell me?  Jeez I'm only her father.  And it's Kane's?  What the hell?"  His voice rose, as did his temperature, "Kirsty get down here now!"

Kirsty arrived, with fresh tears on her skin.  "I suppose you've told him."  She stifled her tears.

"Don't you be smart with me young lady, what do you think you were doing running off with him and getting yourself pregnant?"  Rhys was visibly destroyed, pacing around the room, not even looking at his daughter.  "Didn't you think?  What about the…I'm gonna kill him."  Rhys marched towards the door.

"Don't Rhys, " screeched Shelley.  "That won't solve anything.  We need to all talk together, make a decision."

"Make a decision?!  What decision is there to make?!  I'm not having my daughter having the offspring of that rapist,_ that _mongrel in my house."

"He's not a mongrel, " shrieked Kirsty.  "I love him, and I'm keeping this baby."

"Like hell you are, " shouted Rhys.  "If you think I am going to tolerate this, then you are very much mistaken."

"I don't expect you to, I just don't believe in murdering my baby."

Rhys was silent.  He couldn't argue with that.  His voice lowered, until it was nothing but a bitter snarl.  "Get out."

"What?"

"Get out!  You are not living here while you have that, _that _thing inside you.  You can fend for yourself."

"Rhys, be rational, where can she go?" said Shelley, almost in tears herself.

"She should have thought about that before she got knocked up!"

Kirsty ran out of her house, in aggressive tears, she could hardly breathe through crying so much.  She collapsed in the front garden, she felt weak, where could she go?  She heard a voice.  Dani.

"Kirsty what's wrong?"  Dani put her arms around her sister.  Kirsty sprung up, ripping her sisters arms from her.

"Get off me.  I'm leaving."

"Why, tell me what's wrong Kirst?"  Dani looked genuinely concerned, oblivious to the tension inside.

"You're going to hate me."

"I could never hate you Kirst.  You're my sister."  Dani reached to hug Kirsty, who stepped away.

"Wait!"  Kirsty took a deep breath, and stopped crying.  "I have to tell you something, you aren't going to like, and you probably won't want to hug me anymore. I'm pregnant with Kane's baby."

Dani looked gobsmacked.  "You're pregnant, with Kane's baby?"

Kirsty nodded.  They stood in silence for a moment, Dani still looking her sister in the eye.  She didn't know what to say, and she certainly didn't want to hug her.

Admitting defeat, Kirsty ran out of the front garden, into the darkening Summer Bay night.


	33. Who's the father?

Kane woke up to the sound of traffic going past his house, children laughing outside and Kirsty's gentle snoring.   He hadn't had a girl sleep in his double bed ever, let alone one who liked him.  She looked so gorgeous asleep with her fair hair sprawled over her pillow in one of his old t-shirts; he could watch her forever.   It was a surprise when Kirsty rang him the previous night, asking if she could stay with him.  There was so much to take in; Kane could hardly get his head around it all himself.  He was going to be a father, Kirsty was living with him and he was going to become the Sutherlands constant enemy.  Life was complicated.  Kirsty began to stir.  Kane smiled as she opened her eyes.

"Morning gorgeous." 

"Kane smiled as she opened her eyes.

"Morning gorgeous." 

"Yeah, " said Kirsty gruffly.  She'd almost forgotten where she was.  "I know I am."

"How are you feeling?" asked Kane.  "Do you want breakfast?  I do a mean beans on toast."

"No, I want you."  Kirsty leaned towards him, she was just an inch away, about to kiss him when the doorbell rang.  "Who's that ringing so early?"

"Beats me, my aunt isn't back for another month."  Kane got up leaving Kirsty wrapped in the duvet.  He was rarely visited, least of all at half seven in the morning.  As he reached the front door, he saw a familiar outline, thankfully not Kirsty's parents.  It was Flynn.

"What do you want?" said Kane through the glass.

"Is Kirsty here?"  asked Flynn.

"No she isn't."

"Are you sure?"

"I haven't seen her, " shouted Kane.

"Well can I come in then?  I'd like to talk to you."

"NO, no you can't."

"Is that because she's in there?  Just let me in, I promise I won't kick off."

"Is that Flynn? " said Kirsty behind him.  "I wonder who sent him."

"Do you want me to let him in?" asked Kane.

"What have I got to lose? You could always protect me if he grabs me and stuffs me into his car, "she said jokingly.  Kane opened the door.  Kirsty suddenly felt self-conscious, with Kane's t-shirt reaching just above her knees.

"How you doing Kirsty?" said Flynn.  "Can we sit down?"  Kane gestured towards his aunt old floral sofa.  

"Sorry about the mess.  I don't usually have so many visitors."

Flynn sat down, on one of the recliners.  Kirsty and Kane sat together on the sofa.

"Your mum told me about what happened, and I guessed you'd be here.  I just want to say that they want you to come home, they love you and would just like to chat."

"Chat about abortion you mean, " retorted Kirsty.

"That is still an option Kirsty.  Having a baby to get back at them is not a good thing.  You have to want it."

"She does, " said Kane.  "We both do."

"If you're sure?"  Kirsty nodded.  "Well I think you need to talk to your family, a rift could ruin your relationship forever.  I could arrange a mediation."

"I don't want one, I just want to be left alone."

"Have you discussed how you'll cope?" asked Flynn.  "What about school, what do you want to do for the rest of your life?"

"I'll go back to school, I'll do a TAFE course when I have the baby."

"You will?" asked a surprised Kane.  "We haven't really discussed it."

"We'll have plenty of time Kane to discuss it.  Is there anything else you wanted to say Flynn?"

"No.  If you want to talk, just pick up the phone or come to the drop-in centre.  Your family miss you."

"Hardly."

"I'll see myself out."

***

Later that day, Kirsty realised that she needed her clothes.  Her dad hardly gave her time to get them as he chucked her out.   Her and Kane drove over to the caravan park, and waited for a while.  It was unlikely that anyone was there, unless her family had decided to wait by the phone.  All she needed was to get her clothes, some personal provisions and a toothbrush.

"Wait here, " said Kirsty.  "I won't be long."

"I'll have to drive off if someone comes.  I'll ring you once you've got your mobile."

Kirsty went into her house, which was already open, indicating someone was home.  She quickly ran upstairs, shoving her things into a backpack, a time strangely reminiscent of when she'd first ran away.  She heard footsteps approaching the door.

"Jeez, I didn't think you'd be back so soon, " said Max.   "Are you really up the duff?"

"Yes, " Kirsty breathed a sigh of relief.  "But don't say I came here.  I'm almost done anyway.  You bunking off again?"

"I forgot my lunch.  So who's the Daddy then?  Is it Nick?  Seb?"

"It's… someone you don't know.  I'm going for good now."

"Really?  I won't see you? You're the only one who doesn't moan at me."

"Thanks, " smiled Kirsty.  "You never moan at me too, just surprise me with your honesty.  I may visit though."

Kirsty hugged Max and they went downstairs.  Kane was still outside.  Max smiled at him, and was about to investigate him when Colleen came rushing past.

"Well I never, Kane Phillips, what are you doing here at the Sutherlands?"

"He's my boyfriend, " said Kirsty seeing Colleens shocked expression.  "See you later all!"

Colleen had more gossip to tell.


	34. Gossip Folks

The residents of Summer Bay were quite bemused at the latest gossip to go round.  Alf wasn't sure what to make of Kirsty's pregnancy which Colleen had told him the previous day.  He suspected it was just a rumour, yet the absence of the Sutherlands from the community was a bit suspicious.

"What do you make of this new gossip?" he asked Leah in the diner.  "Do you think Colleens spouting rubbish again?"

"Well I don't know, " she said, as she spooned some meatballs into a bowl.  "The Sutherlands are pretty quiet, and Kirsty running away that time was a bit suspect."

"I wonder who the father is."

"Wonder no further, " said an arriving Colleen.  "I saw that girl back home, her parents chucked her out, and she got into Kane Phillips' car.  They were cavorting like anything, honestly, after what he did to her sister."

Alf's facial expression changed.  "Now I hope you've got your facts straight Colleen, I know how you love to assume things."

"Oh they are straight, I heard shouting last night like you wouldn't believe.  Kirsty Sutherland is pregnant with Kane Phillips' baby."  Alf tried to clamp his hand over her mouth, to no avail.  People had heard and were talking in hushed voices.

"Now I bet the Sutherlands don't appreciate you telling everyone."

"Telling everyone what?"  Jade, Seb and Nick had just entered the diner.

"Telling everyone what an irresponsible sister you have, " finished Colleen.  "Honestly, you'll be next, it's a curse I tell you!"

"We don't have to eat here, " said Nick, who'd been told the news ,this morning.  The three of them went outside silently.

"They were looking at me like I was scum, " said Jade.  "It's all Kirsty's fault yet again."

"Yeah, " said Seb.  "Where is she now?"

"Probably with him."

"Kane?" said Nick.  "Who would've thought she could do something like that."

"Yeah.  I kept telling her how stupid she was."  Nicks expression changed hearing Seb's answer.

"You knew?"

"I found out, I couldn't tell anyone.  I promised."

"Like that helped Seb, " said Jade.  " We could have avoided all of this if you'd said this before.  You're such a loser."  Jade stormed off, leaving Nick staring at Seb in disgust.

***

Meanwhile, Kirsty was unpacking her things into Kane's house.  It was quite tidy for a man living on his own temporarily, but the décor was hardly Kirsty's idea of modern.

"We've got to sort this place out Kane, " she said.  

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's a bit dated."

"Well it is my aunts.  I wanna move out someday."

"That'd be nice for the baby, " said Kirsty.  "It can have a nursery."

"We need to talk.  My job wont support the three of us, and I doubt my aunt will let us live here."

"Well we'll move out.  I can get a job for a few months."

"They won't hire you, plus it's dangerous."

"I could always tap into the college fund my parents have.  Or my grandparents will lend me money.  I'll need to go to college part time to get my HSC too."

"But who'll look after the baby?  We can't afford nursery."

"You'll have to stagger your shifts.  I'll get my HSC, get a job and we can have a better life."

"It doesn't work like that, " shouted Kane.  "It'll be too much work, we hardly have any support.  You'll have to stay at home."

"We won't have enough money, plus I don't want to be a housewife type.  I'm young."

"Young people don't do this."

"What are you saying?  Don't you want this baby?"  Kirsty stormed off into the bathroom, and locked the door, crying.  She wasn't sure if she was emotional because of the baby, or because of Kane's reluctance.  Kane banged on the door,

"Let me in Kirsty, don't be so angry.  We can talk to Flynn about our options.  We'll go tomorrow, just come out."

"No!"

"I do want this baby more than anything, " Kane said through the door.  "If it can make me as happy as you've made me then I'm all for it.  I know you should hate me, I should hate me, but you don't.  That's why I love you, all of you."  Kirsty opened the door, and fell into Kane's arms, crying.

"You do want it?"

"Of course I do.  We'll talk to him tomorrow, maybe we can get benefits or something."

Kirsty stopped crying, "You're great Kane Phillips, you really are."


	35. Facing the Bay

Kirsty could feel her jeans getting tighter by the day, and had started to cover up wearing Kane's shirts, hardly the height of fashion, but totally functional.

"I'll have to get maternity clothes soon, " said Kirsty, as they travelled to the drop-in centre.  "Perhaps Leah could lend me hers, if she's not too traumatised by Colleens gossip."

Kane laughed, "She's gonna love seeing me isn't she. She nearly died when she saw me at your house."  Kirsty smiled.  She hadn't been back to the bay in days, but no doubt everyone was talking about her.  

"I'm gonna be public enemy number one, " she sighed.  "I bet Jade's turned Seb and Nick against me."

"I'll be right behind you, all the way."  Kirsty rested her hand on Kane's knee, her head on his shoulder.  Was he really joking when he said he'd make an honest woman of her?  They approached the familiar setting of Summer Bay soon enough, and drove into the drop-in centre car park.  Kirsty noticed her mothers car was parked.

"Great.  Mum's here, " she said as she got out the car.  "Another lecture."

"I think another ones heading our way."  Kane gestured to an angry Josh, storming towards them.

"What do you think you're doing?  Are you trying to work your way through the family?"

"Leave it Josh, " said Kirsty.

"You make me sick.  Both of you.  After what he did to Dani, how could you do that?  How can you even be near him?"

Kane was silent.  The same thoughts were being brought to the surface.  He felt uneasy; Kirsty could hardly stand up for him after what he'd done.

"See?  He can't even talk."

"Leave it Josh, just leave it, " Kirsty struggled to keep the peace.  "We're only here to see Flynn, we don't want any trouble."

"I'm not the one who's trouble, he is.  He raped my girlfriend, your sister.  How can you forgive him?"

Kirsty was speechless.  She suddenly thought that anything she could say in Kane's defence would sound stupid.  She couldn't deny it, because it was true.  "He's a different person to me, " she said weakly.  "Let's go Kane."  Kane followed Kirsty meekly, avoiding eye contact with Josh.  He had every reason to hate him.

The couple walked silently into the drop-in centre, and waited patiently for Flynn to appear.  Inevitably, Shelley approached them, while going to their lunch break.

"Hi Kirsty.  Kane.  How are you?"

"Fine, " replied Kirsty bluntly.

"Did you want to talk?"

"Actually we wanted to see Flynn."

"Oh."  Shelley put on a brave face.  "I'm always here if you want to talk, you could come home, we still love you no matter what."

"That's nice."

"I'll see you then."  Shelley felt slightly flat as she left the drop-in centre.  Her family was in ruins.

Flynn came out of his office.  "Hi Kirsty.  Kane.  This is a surprise."

"We wanted to talk to you.  About our options after the baby is born.  I'd like to get my HSC at some point."

"Come into my office."  Kirsty and Kane sat down on the two chairs inside Flynn's office, slightly awkward.  "How are you both?"

"Oh, you know.  Surviving, " said Kirsty.  "We wanted to know what I could do about education, when the baby's born.  I'd like to get my HSC."

"Well I do know that there's a school for young mothers.  Your baby would stay in a nursery while you study, and you'd pay a small fee.  I think there's one in Melbourne.  You'd have to move."

"That's fine, " said Kirsty, not waiting for Kane's reply.  

"I could put you in touch with social services.  You may need income support.  How do you both feel about the baby?"

"I'm really looking forward to it, apart from the fact we've become local gossip."

"And how do you feel Kane?"

"Excited I guess, " he said, indifferently.  "A bit worried for the future.  Money and stuff."   

"And you're sure you're having it for the right reasons?"

"Definitely," said Kirsty.  "A welcome surprise."

"Well I could send you some booklets about the school, and income support, but I really feel you need to make peace with your family."

"Oh here we go again, " said Kirsty.  "The baby-killing brigade."

"I think you all need to talk, you can't live separately from them forever.  What about when the baby grows up and doesn't know it's family, or why they don't like its father?  What if you fall out of love, and you end up on your own? You want to end the animosity now, before it's too late."

"Like that's gonna happen.  They're just 'what if's'.  Kane and the baby are the only family I need, no one else, and we're totally in love.  It was nice talking to you, but we really have to go."  Kirsty got up, followed by Kane.  She slipped her hand into his.

"You were a bit quiet in there."

"Yeah.  I was just thinking about what they all said.  Josh, Flynn, all of them.  Do you really want to stay with me after what I did?"

"I wouldn't be here, defending you if I didn't, " said Kirsty squeezing his hand tighter.  "Wait here."

Kirsty went back into Flynn's office.  "By the way, where's that letter you 'forgot' to give Kane?  I'd like him to read it."

Flynn silently got the letter out of his drawer, and gave it to her.  "I'm sorry, I didn't think it was a good idea."

 "Save it for your next lecture. " Kirsty cam out of Flynn's office, and handed the letter to Kane.  "Read this.  I think it sums up how I feel about you."

Kane opened the letter and was silent for a few moments.  It could have moved him to tears, the way she wrote.  "It's great Kirsty."  He put the letter in his pocket, and put his arms around his girlfriend.  "I am going to take you out to lunch."

"Are you sure we can afford it?"

"I think we can stretch to a meal at the diner."

"The diner?  Are you sure?  With everyone there?"

"We've got to face them sometime, " said Kane.  "We can't hide away forever, we've got to show them that our love is real and we're serious about each other."

"The diner it is then, " said Kirsty, half worried, half excited.


	36. Chapter 36

The Sutherlands were never the same again. No one was sure about how to act; they were angry at Kirsty, yet they didn't want to hear her badmouthed all the time.  Jade rarely defended her sister at school, when others called her a 'slut' or 'whore.'  It was only Max who stuck up for her, cleaned her name from the walls of the school toilets, and tried to get through to everyone.  Dani couldn't believe the extent of her sister's betrayal, her sister who had so callously slept with her rapist.  She wondered if she'd got pregnant on purpose, to try and prove a point.  All she knew now was that she could never forgive her sister let alone like her again.  

Oblivious to the public's perception of them, Kirsty and Kane approached the diner.  It was lunchtime, normally quite busy, so they wouldn't be noticed.

"Do you want me to order for you, and we can sit outside?" asked Kirsty.

"No, I don't think that's necessary, " said Kane.  "I've as much right to order food there as anyone else. "  They entered the diner, boisterous chatter suddenly switching to hushed voices.  Colleen took one look at them, and walked away.

"Alf, you'll have to serve them, I'm serving that… harlot in my diner!"

"It's not your diner, " said Alf quietly.  "What'll it be?"

"I'll have the special, " said Kirsty.

"Me too, " said Kane.  

"We'll bring it over to you."  Kirsty and Kane sat in the corner booth, failing to be inconspicuous.   Irene shot them a look, as did Mr Fisher and June.  

"So much for a romantic lunch, " said Kane.  "I'll try a picnic next time."    

"It shouldn't be like this Kane.  It really shouldn't."

"But it is.  I did something no one could forget.  I know I can't."

"You have to move on Kane, like everyone else should.  You're not a bad person anymore, I know that."

Kane smiled.  "I might kiss you if I thought Colleen wouldn't faint."

"I dare you, " laughed Kirsty.  They leant in towards each other; the people of Summer Bay tried not to look as their lips met.

"You would have thought that they'd be a bit more discreet, " said an aghast Colleen.  "Honestly, they're proud of the fact they've been cavorting, despite her families wishes!"

"Here's your food, " said a stony Alf as he brought the two plates.  Kirsty and Kane broke away.  "I'd appreciate if you didn't do that in here, we don't want you putting off the customers."

Kirsty was about to respond angrily when a calm Kane said, "Fine, thanks for the meals."

"He's such an idiot, " whispered Kirsty as Alf went away.  "Just because it's us."

"We've gotta live with this for a while yet."

"This food sure beats your cooking, " said Kirsty.

"Oh thanks!"

"Are there any cheap places to eat in Yabbie Creek?"

"I wouldn't know, " said Kane.  "I never had anyone to go with."

"Well now you do.  We'd better enjoy ourselves before the baby comes.  It's gonna be hectic."

"We'll have to move."

"Well there's nothing left for me here, as long as I have you I'm happy."

The couple quickly finished their food, and left the hostile reception of the diner, only to be greeted by more enthusiasm.  Jade, Nick and Seb were all returning from school, and stopped in their tracks when they saw Kirsty and Kane together.   No one knew quite what to say.

"Hi, " said Kirsty.  "Long time no see."

"And we all know why that is, " said a visibly annoyed Jade.  "Come on, let's go inside."  Nick scowled at them, while following Jade in.  Seb waited a little longer.

"So is this the happy couple then?  Nice to see your rubbing everyone's face in it."

"We have every right to be here, " said Kirsty.  

"But can't you see what you're doing?  Everyone thinks you're a slut."

"If that's all you're going to say then we'll be off.   I don't particularly want to be insulted."

"You'll get a lot worse I'm sure."

 "It's nice to know who my real friends are.  Thanks for helping me to realise."  And with that, Kirsty and Kane walked off.


	37. Craving Custard

After about a week, Kirsty was struggling to settle into Kane's residence.  Most days he went to work, leaving Kirsty home alone.  Since she didn't know anyone in Yabbie Creek, no visitors came and certainly no 'friends' from Summer Bay.  Although Max had called her on her mobile once, it wasn't quite the same.  Being alone, sitting in front of daytime TV and wallowing in self-pity was the itinerary for most days.  Kirsty had been expanding widthways, and was growing increasingly spotty and greasy, not to mention sick most mornings.  She'd begun to hate certain foods, such as corn flakes and crackers, yet suddenly wanted to eat custard.  She'd rummaged through Kane's cupboards for custard powder yet found none.  She had had visions of asking the neighbours, and predicted that they would give her strange looks and shut the door on her.  The implication of not having a key meant she couldn't leave.  Her last resort was leaving a message on Kane's mobile, and hoping that he received it and carried out his orders.  Custard would soothe her; the creamy yellow could melt away all the pain and her problems, the sweet taste refreshing her.  

***

While Kirsty was craving custard, the rest of her family were anticipating Christmas without her.  They'd always been together for Christmas.  Deep down, they all wanted her with them, although they didn't show it.  Rhys again had to try to forget about his daughter, his pregnant daughter alone with the rapist.  He'd driven to drink, and with the arrival of his old flame, Angie, things were getting more complicated.  Shelley was in a daze most days, and Max in utter bewilderment at why his family hated Kane with a passion.

"So why do you hate the guy Kirsty's shacked up with then?" he asked.

"Can we please not talk about this now!" shouted Shelley, seeing Dani's uncomfortable expression.  

"Just tell me, it can't be that bad.  Did he break a glass or something?"

"No!" exclaimed Dani.  She didn't want to say it.  She'd said it enough times.  "He hurt me.  Badly."

"Did you end up in a fight?"

Dani took a deep breath.  "I don't like him because he raped me, and if Kirsty was a decent sister she wouldn't like him too.  I'd prefer if you stopped asking me questions."

Max was silent.  He couldn't believe Kane would do that, and that Kirsty would still like him.  He knew Kirsty was a good judge of character, surely there had to be something no one else was seeing?  Kane had seemed nice.  Max decided not to voice his opinions, but went up to his room to absorb what he had just heard.  Dani took a deep breath as Max left the room.  She couldn't work; her thoughts were full of Kirsty now.  The sister who'd betrayed her, who could actually let Kane near her enough to get her pregnant, yet this was different.  Kirsty wanted it.  Dani had the decision taken from her.  Why her?  Why couldn't she have had the choice?  The thoughts of a miniature Kane filled Dani with dread.  Although she loved babies, she wasn't sure if she could love this one, it could look exactly like him.  She knew that she couldn't be selfish anymore; there were too many people involved.  She'd have to get over it sometime.   

***

The day passed slowly.  Kirsty had fallen asleep waiting for Kane but woke up with a start, hearing his key turn in the lock.  She ran as fast as she could in her bloated state, seeing an open armed Kane.  With no shopping bags.

"Didn't you get my message?"

"Don't I even get a hello?"

"Did you get it?"

"No, my phone ran out of battery.  Was it important?"

"Of course it was important!" raged Kirsty.  "I asked you to get some custard powder."

"And that's important?!" laughed Kane.

"Yes it is, because it's your baby that's making me want it.  It's your baby that's making me spotty and greasy and fat and undesirable."

"But…"

"Shut up!  It's me that's stuck in this dump, with this baby inside me while you sit around lifting stuff at work, then you expect me to cook you dinner."

"I'm not…"

"SHUT UP!  All I wanted was some custard, but you couldn't even give me that could you?  I'm tired and emotional and fat and you're just NORMAL!"

"Listen, I realise your emotional and I appreciate what you are going through, but I'm being affected as well.  I have to work so we can afford to give the baby everything it needs, plus you're not undesirable.  If we'd just get a chance to talk instead of you attacking me, then perhaps we wouldn't feel so bad."

Kirsty took a deep breath.  All the hormones were going to her head; an argument like this was totally out of character to her.  "I'm sorry, I'm just not used to feeling this way all the time."

"It'll get better.  I'll go and get some custard now if you'd like."

"That'll be fine Kane, " said Kirsty.  "That'll be fine."


	38. Christmas Preparations

With Christmas looming, Kane was sure he could afford the present Kirsty deserved.  He'd picked out a silver ring, with a small jewel, as a symbol of his love.  He knew he wanted to do the decent thing and propose, but he couldn't even think of how to say it.  This situation was completely alien to him; six months ago he never knew that he'd be proposing and contemplating fatherhood by Christmas.  Normally he'd spent his Christmases with his aunt, but before that he never knew what the commercial Christmas was.  Presents were rare, and with his father's disappearances it was hardly a family time.  This time would be different and next year would be even more exciting.  He kissed a sleeping Kirsty before he went to work, who began to stir.

"You just kissed me, " said a half-asleep Kirsty.

"That's right.  I've got to go now."

"Aw, can't you get a day off?"

"Sorry babe, I've only got Christmas day and a couple days after off."

"When's that again?"

"Next week."

"Ooops, " said Kirsty.  "I keep losing track of the days."  As Kane left, Kirsty wondered what she could get him, without breaking the bank.  She didn't know what to get a guy for Christmas, socks may have suited her dad, but somehow she didn't think they were Kane's thing.  Kirsty had a moment of realisation.  Would she have to cook something this Christmas?   She hardly knew how to cook a turkey or any of the other stuff that went along with Christmas.  She would have to see if Kane's aunt had any cookery books. Kirsty got out of bed, and felt her tummy.  She was showing her pregnancy now, and had to resort to low-slung jeans and her belly poking out through every top she wore.  She was proud to show off her pregnancy, despite all the funny looks she got.  At least she didn't know these people.  She enjoyed the anonymity of Yabbie Creek, since it was a bigger town.  Nobody knew everyone else's business, and nobody cared that they didn't.  It suited Kirsty fine.

***

Max checked to see no one was downstairs, darted up to his room and grabbed the present.  It was for Kirsty; he still missed her, though no one else seemed to.   He placed the carefully wrapped present under the tree.  He'd chosen it with care, a CD he knew she liked.  Hopefully she'd come and visit to collect it.  All of a sudden, Max jumped hearing someone come into the room.

"Aunty Shelley, you scared me!"

"Sorry, " she said.  "What are you doing by the tree?  Three days isn't long to wait to open them."

"I know I was just… checking something."

"Hmmm."  Shelley went over to the tree, and noticed the present marked 'Kirsty.'

"That's nice of you Max.  I've got a present for her too."

"I thought you'd forgotten her already."

"No.  Christmas time makes you remember things even more."  Shelley sighed.  "I want to invite her over, but she probably won't come.  I hope she's alright."

"Me too, " said Max.  He darted upstairs again.  He didn't like showing his emotions.

***

Christmas Eve approached quickly, and Kirsty couldn't wait to greet Kane when he got home from work.  She'd been watching some Christmas cookery programmes and had decided to make a simple turkey salad, as it would be a warm day.  She'd even got into the festive mood and bought some mistletoe from the garden centre.  As her pregnancy didn't allow her and Kane to get really intimate until 14 weeks, they'd felt slightly distanced.  Kirsty was counting down the days until they could be truly together again.  The key turned in the lock.

"Honey, I'm home!"  Kane opened the door, carrying in the biggest tree she'd ever seen.

Kirsty laughed.  "You sound like a cartoon character.  That tree is huge!"

"Well you can't have Christmas without one, can't you?  I got it cheap after work."  Kane rested the tree against the fireplace.

"Well at least I don't have to put your present in your stinking old socks!"  

"Excuse me, my socks don't smell!"  Kane hugged Kirsty, and began to kiss her neck. "So where's my present then?"

"You can't have it yet!"

"Oh.  Not even if I do this?"  Kane kissed Kirsty on the lips, making her feel airy and light-headed.

"Hmmm, well.  Only if I get mine."

As Kane hunted for his present, Kirsty got the watch she picked out from the kitchen drawer.

"Open mine first, " said Kane.

Kirsty took the small box and opened it, a simple silver ring.

"I love it, " said Kirsty putting it on.  "It's wonderful."

Kane froze.  Could he really ask her now? "It's to celebrate us being together six months."  Kane could have kicked himself.  He wanted to ask her, but the words wouldn't come out.

"Thank you.  Now for your present."  Kane would have opened it, if he hadn't heard a key turn in the lock and a familiar shuffle of feet on the mat.

"Kane?  Is that you?  I mad it back in time for…" Rose stood frozen in the doorway.  Who was this strange girl in her living room and why did her nephew look so suspicious?  Kane had a lot of explaining to do. 


	39. Christmas with Rosemary

"Who is she?" asked Rose.

"This is Kirsty.  My girlfriend."

Rose didn't know how to react; she was tired from sitting on trains all day, and being messed about by taxi drivers.  Surely he would have told her if he'd got a girlfriend?  It was rare for Kane to make friends, let alone form a relationship.

"And she's living here?"

"Yes, " said Kane taking a deep breath and clutching Kirsty's hand.  "I need to tell you something?"

"Is this the girl you ran off with then, the girl who left you in hospital?  The girl whose parents dislike you?"

"Yes."

"And now she's living here?  What has she had an argument and run away again?"  

Kirsty was beginning to feel increasingly awkward.  Surely Rose wouldn't chuck her out, not on Christmas Eve.  She had nowhere else to go.

"Yes she is living here.  She's pregnant."

"I need to sit down."  Rose sat down on the sofa, and stared viciously at Kirsty's midriff.  She never would have imagined this would happen.

"I'll put the kettle on, " said Kirsty.

"I know you're angry Aunty, but we've got it all figured out.  I've been working and saving and when she has the baby we're moving away so she can go back to school.  We won't be here for long."

"That's not it Kane, " exclaimed Rose.  "Your family always disappointed me, your father, your brother and now you.  After that court case I would have thought that you'd stay away from her and her family.  This is going to be hard for her, she's only young."

"I know, but we love each other."

"But you can't live on love alone.  She's living away from her family, giving up her life to be here with you.  That will take its toll."

"We'll make friends when we move away."

"Here's your tea, " said Kirsty entering the room.  "Ms Phillips, I know what you must think, but Kane and I are serious about each other and this baby.  Please don't chuck us out."

"I'm not going to chuck you out.  Personally I don't think that would help the situation, but I would encourage you to speak to your family.  Families should always stick together, and that's what I've done for Kane.  You need to make decisions, this isn't just about you."  Rose went into the kitchen.  

"I'm going to bed, " said Kirsty.

"I'll come with you, " said Kane.  Rose gave him a funny look.  

"Somehow I get the impression that she doesn't like me, " said Kirsty and they went upstairs.  "I've corrupted you or something."

"I doubt it.  It is a lot to take in.  Let her sleep on it.  She'll come round."

"This is going to be the worst Christmas ever."  

***

After a mainly sleepless night, Kirsty woke up feeling anything but the Christmas spirit.  Last year, if anyone had told her she'd be pregnant and living with Kane Phillips by the next year, she would have hit them with anything that came to hand.  Never in her wildest dreams could she imagine this situation, it was almost like a dream, fast becoming a nightmare.  She got up, dressed in a vaguely smart black top and jeans, and switched on her mobile phone.  She needed to talk to someone, but the probability of Max picking up the phone in a house of people who hated her was one in a million.  Kirsty sighed.  It was difficult to get excited about the baby when so many people were against it.

"Hey, why didn't you wake me?"  said Kane.  "Merry Christmas."

"Yeah."

"Come here.  You still wearing the ring?"

"Yeah, it's beautiful, " said Kirsty getting back into bed.  

"Cheer up.  This will be the best Christmas ever, well for me anyway, " said Kane putting his arms round her.  They kissed, making Kirsty feel much better.

"I'd better go face Rose now, " said Kane.  "Wish me luck."

***

'Take the chicken breasts, and engross them into your paprika jelly   marinade, ' read Kirsty.  Her marinade was hardly a jelly, more of a very runny red mixture.  It looked nothing like the picture in the recipe book.

"Make sure you wash the lettuce, " said Rosy, standing behind Kirsty like a shadow.  "It's very important, especially for you."

"Thanks."

"I normally cook a traditional dinner at Christmas."

"I prefer salads, " said Kirsty through gritted teeth, trying to 'engross' the chicken.

"Don't splash it on the cooker!" screeched Rose.  "That's brand new."

"Listen, Ms Phillips, I am trying to cook for you so if you'd be so grateful not to criticize everything I do, then maybe I could concentrate."

"Hmmmph, " Rose left the room in a huff.  Eventually Kirsty managed to prepare the salad, and the reluctant trio sat down to a melancholy Christmas dinner.  Rosemary Phillips didn't like her home being invaded, her cushions being ruffled, her counters unwashed.  Some might have said she had a disorder, as she kept everything meticulously tidy.  She liked to be in control of her surroundings, and Kirsty didn't allow her to do that.  Kirsty didn't dare show Rose the ring on her finger, fearing that she might get the wrong idea, or the right idea.  Kane hadn't proposed to her yet, and Kirsty worried that he never intended to.  His aunt would surely talk him out of any thoughts of marriage.  This was by far one of Kirsty's worst Christmases.  


	40. New Year

After Christmas, the New Year went as quickly as it arrived, with Max wondering when to give Kirsty her Christmas present.  He also needed someone to talk to at the moment, what with his aunt and uncles relationship somewhat strained.  He sent her a text message to avoid others hearing him speak to her, and they arranged to meet up in Yabbie Creek on a Tuesday afternoon.  Max skipped school to meet up with her, saying that he had a dentist's appointment he couldn't get out of.  He wondered what Kirsty would look like now, after a month.  With his limited knowledge of pregnancy, he just about knew that she'd be significantly larger.  When he saw her in a Yabbie Creek diner, his thoughts were confirmed.

"Kirsty!"  His eyes lit up.  "You've changed so much."

"Have I?" said Kirsty stroking her stomach.  The change seemed to be more gradual.  They sat down at a table, and ordered a snack.  "Kane took me here once.  It's nice to be somewhere where nobody knows you."

"Tell me about it, " said Max rolling his eyes.  "I'm always getting asked about you in school.  They now think you're having twins with a serial killer."

"Far from it.  So what's the other gossip in Summer Bay, apart from me?"

"Well, we have a new deputy head, Ms Russell.  Nobody in our family seems to like her, except for Jade.  Uncle Rhys told me to go out of the room when they were talking.  It sounded pretty serious."

"Who knows what happened there?  So what else is new?  What about Dani and Jade?  Do they ever talk about me?"

"Not really.  I think everyone's in denial.  At Christmas no one even spoke about you."  Kirsty pulled a face.  Now it seemed that her parents had disowned her.

"I brought you this, " said Max.  "Sorry it's late."  Max handed her the Christmas present from himself and Shelley.

"Thanks.  I'll open them later."

A long silence followed, no one not quite knowing what to say or do.  Kirsty wanted to talk to him about Kane's aunt, but it seemed like a random thing to come out with.  Max never really expressed his feelings much, and didn't feel like changing.  Their food arrived and Kirsty slurped her milkshake nervously.  Max was no substitute for Jade.  He wouldn't understand about the backache, the morning sickness and all the feelings she was going through.  

"We'd better talk sometime, " said Max.  "I've got to be back soon."

"Yeah, it's just that I miss everyone.  Especially Jade.  We used to be close but now I don't think she'll ever talk to me again."

"She's just too stressy.  She hardly talks to me either."

"And Kane's aunt has just returned come back and she hates me.  She criticizes everything I do and say, I feel constantly on edge."

"Just talk to her.  That's what Aunty Shel would say."  
"I know I should but I don't feel at ease with her.  I'm used to having people not like me, especially at the moment, but it would just mean a lot to me.  I need her to like me."

"Don't sweat over it, " said Max.  "As long as Kane loves you you've got everything."  Kirsty smiled.

"You are very wise for one so young."

"I learned from the best."

***

Later that day, Kirsty plucked up the courage to speak to Rose as she dusted the mantelpiece.  Rose had pretended not to see her.  It was only that morning when she'd pleaded with him not to propose to her.  He didn't need to nowadays and just because they were having a baby, it didn't mean that they could be lifelong partners.  Rose knew that from Kane's parents.

Kirsty coughed loudly to get Rose's attention.  Rose carried on dusting.

"Excuse me, but if you could tear yourself away from you dusting for one minute, perhaps we could talk."

"Very well, " said Rose.

"I'd like to know why you hate me so much."  There was a long pause.  Kirsty waited for Rose to snap.

"I don't hate you, in fact quite the opposite.  You remind me of myself at your age.  Headstrong.  You think you know it all.  You think you want to marry Kane, because that's what your parents did.  It doesn't work like that.  I was married once.  It was hell."

"It would never be hell with Kane, I love him.  It's none of your business."

"Perhaps it is, perhaps it isn't.  I'm going to miss him.  I wanted to treat him as a son, yet I never did.  Now I want to take the chance, and he's found love somewhere else."

"You'll always have a place in his heart."

"I need him to tell me that."  Rose sighed.  She feigned a cool nature, yet was really alone.  She visited people, yet never felt at ease with them.  She could feel at ease with Kane, without him even being in the same room.  They just needed each other's presence.  Or so she thought.

"I'll try to be more forbearing, " began Rose.  "But I would strongly advise you against marriage."

"That's good enough for me, " said Kirsty.  That was the closest she'd come to reconciliation with Rose, and most likely the closest she'd ever get.   


	41. Three's a Crowd

The next week, a letter arrived addressed to 'Miss Kirsty Sutherland' in the mail.  Kirsty was excited.  She never received mail at Kane's place and doubted anyone still wrote to her at the caravan park.  People tended to just shout at her nowadays instead of writing their feelings down.  She tore open the letter.  It was from the clinic.  She was due to have a scan in three weeks time.

"What's that babe?" said a half-asleep Kane.  "A letter?"

"Well duh!" said Kirsty.  "It says, 'since you have reached 14 weeks, blah blah blah, we invite you to have a pre-natal scan on the 9th February.'  We'll get to see our baby for the first time!  I can't wait!"  Kirsty jumped into Kane's surprised arms.

"Me neither, " said Kane showing genuine enthusiasm.  He couldn't put it into words how much this baby would mean to him.  

"And you know what else?"

"Surprise me."

"Well, now I've reached fourteen weeks, guess what I could do?"

"What?"

"I could do this."  Kirsty kissed Kane on the lips.

Kane laughed.  "And what else could you do?"

"I could also do this, " Kirsty planted a series of light kisses on Kane's neck, driving him wild.

"Could I do this?"  Kane unbuttoned the first button on Kirsty's pyjamas.  Kirsty giggled.  "We'd better go upstairs."

"Nice to see you are learning from your actions, " said Rose's voice from the stairs.  Kirsty broke away from Kane immediately, still feeling on edge with Rose around.

"Morning Rose, we were just…" began Kirsty.

"I think 'Get a room' is what you young ones say."  Rose went back into the kitchen.

"It wouldn't have worked anyway, " said Kane.  "I've got fifteen minutes to get to work."

"Great.  Another day spent alone in the house, while Rose goes out buying more old stuff, " said Kirsty under her breath, as Kane went upstairs.  Just when their relationship could properly get back on track, Rose had to appear.  This was a custard moment.

***

Later that day, Kirsty decided that she needed to get rid of Rose.  She approached her while sitting in the small back yard.

"So, are you doing anything tonight?"

Rose scowled.  "No."

"It's Friday night.  You should get out."

"Is that so you can carry on with my nephew?"

"No!  I mean, I think it'd be nice if you went out.  There's one of those old Audrey Hepburn films on at the cinema.  You might like it."

Rose was a sucker for Audrey Hepburn.  She wanted to be like her ever since she was a little girl, pampered and loved by all.  Her films were pure escapism. 

"Fine, I'll go, but only because you twisted my arm.  Don't think I'm going soft."

"I won't."  Kirsty smiled.  Finally they could have a proper romantic night in.  They were giving out free sherry with the film so Rose would be out for hours.  Kirsty set about creating the perfect romantic setting.  She put scented candles everywhere, and nicked some of Rose's flower petals to scatter up the stairs.  Kane would get the shock of his life when he got home.  Kirsty slipped on a nightgown, a frilly one her aunt had once bought her.  Pyjamas were not her idea of sexy.  The key turned in the lock.  Kane was exhausted after a hard days work, and slightly confused by all the candles greeting him in the hallway.

"Rose?  You been lighting those candles again?"  No answer.  Kane noticed a trail of rose petals leading upstairs.  This was just like in the movies his aunt liked to watch.  He followed them, and at the end of the trail, saw Kirsty lying on the bed.

"Hey."

"Is that all you can say?"  Kirsty pouted.  Kane laughed.  "What's so funny?  I finally got your aunt out of the house and all you can do is laugh?"

"I'm sorry, it's just, I'm used to seeing you in your pyjamas with your hair all messed up.  This is a bit new to me.  You look gorgeous whatever you look like."

"Kane?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

Kane obliged and things were beginning to get steamy.  There was no worries or no fears, just pure desire.  Kirsty was just about to unbutton Kane's trousers when her mobile phone rang.

"Aren't you going to get that?" said Kane, stopping.

"No, " said Kirsty, still kissing him.

"But it's putting me off."

Kirsty reached for the phone.  It was Max.

"Kane stop, stop it's Max.  We can't do this with him on the phone.  It's probably important."

Kane reluctantly let go, and rolled over to the other side of the bed, somewhat disconcerted.

"Hello Max?" answered Kirsty, breathlessly.

"Kirsty?  Meet me in the diner in an hour, it's important and I'm really worried."

"Slow down.  Can't you tell me on the phone?"

"No, it's too serious."

Kirsty sighed.  She'd come so close to spending quality time with Kane, yet again.  "Fine, I'll be there."  She switched off the phone.  "Kane I have to go, it's important.  Something to do with the family."

"Shall I drive you?"

"No, I think I should go alone."

Kirsty got dressed, half nervous and half disappointed that her fantasy was coming to an end very, very quickly. 


	42. Angie

Kirsty got on the first bus she could, back to Summer Bay.  There was desperation in Max's voice, one there had never been before.  Something serious had happened.  Her anxiety grew as the bus drew closer to Summer Bay.  As soon as she got off, she literally ran to the Surf Club, stopping in her tracks only to avoid a tall blonde woman looking at her.  She'd just been to the gym, not that she needed it, and her expression twisted into a smile.

"Excuse me please, " said Kirsty.  The woman did not move, only her expression changed into mock concern.

"Oh dear, how are you?  And the baby?  It must be awful for you Kirsty, living without family."

How could a complete stranger know her name and have the cheek to speak to her like this?  She knew gossip travelled fast around the Bay, but most people would never confront her like this.  Kirsty caught her breath enough to speak.  "What?"

"And you're so young, " said the woman, half shocked, half pitying.  "I can hardly believe it.  Sixteen.  I know I was in my 20's when I was pregnant, but at least I had a college education behind me.  You have nothing."

Kirsty stood shocked. "Who are you?" she said slowly, with each word growing more disgusted.  "And what gives you the right to speak to me like this?"

"Oh, I'm ever so sorry.  I forgot we hadn't met before.  I've heard so much about you; it felt like we already had.  I, Kirsty Sutherland, am Angela.  Angela Russell."

"The woman my dad hates?"

"Not quite.  I'd better go now, isn't that Max running towards us?"  Sure enough, Max was sprinting towards them, desperate to get Kirsty away from _her_.  "I've got a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of each other."  Angie smiled as she jogged away.

"I can't believe that she had the nerve to speak to you, " said Max.  "After what's happened."

"What has happened?  Everyone seems to know except for me."

"You'd better sit down."  The pair sat down at a nearby table.

"So?"

"Well it turns out that Uncle Rhys had a thing going with Angie a while back.  While Aunty Shel was miscarrying your brother."

"What?  They told you this?"

"No, I overheard an argument.  Turns out that you've got a brother.  He's 16."

"A brother?  By that witch Angie?"  The news hadn't begun to sink in.  How could her father, the temple of morality do this to her mother?  To the family?  How could he be so insensitive?

"I'd better go and see Mum."

"I'll come with you."

Surely her mum would want to see her, especially at a time like this?  Running off with your sisters rapist would surely pale in comparison.  Kirsty wasn't so sure.  They made their way to the caravan park in total silence.

***

Shelley had been stirring the tea for ten minutes, her mind blank.  She couldn't think anymore.  She was on autopilot, telling her remaining family to be calm and not to be angry, getting things ready for school and work, pretending everything was fine.  As long as she could keep up the façade of composure, she wouldn't have to think about her husband betrayed her, all those years ago.  She wouldn't have to think about how he'd moved in with Angie to be closer to his son.  She wouldn't have to think about how Rhys had the son she never had.  Shelley continued stirring the tea.  

Max and Kirsty ran up the path towards the caravan park, when suddenly Kirsty stopped dead at the front door.  She had no idea what she was going to say.  It had been almost two months since she was last here, and the atmosphere she'd left in had hardly been friendly.

"Why did you stop?" asked Max.

"I'm just a bit nervous, " replied Kirsty.  "It's been so long, I just don't know if I'm welcome around here."

Kirsty opened the door, and peeked around the corner into the kitchen.  Her mother was staring tea, looking out of the window.

"Mum, "…"  Kirsty's voice faded away.

"Kirsty.  It's good to see you.  I suppose you've heard the news."

"Are you okay?"

"As okay as I can be, under the circumstances."  Shelley still faced the window.

"So has Dad moved out?"

"Yes."

It was like talking to a brick wall, Kirsty wasn't getting anywhere.  Nothing would provoke a reaction.  "I met Angie today.  She knew lots of things about me."

"Well that's Angie, all seeing, all knowing isn't it?" exclaimed Shelley. She'd finally cracked.  "I don't know what gives you the right to come here, you never rang or phoned before."

"I didn't think you wanted me to."

"And what makes you think I want to see you now?  In fact, you are the second to last person who I'd want to see right now.  You just remind me of what this family is turning into."

"Thanks Mum.  I'm sorry I was trying to be supportive."

"Young marriages.  They never last.  My mother always told me that when I was young.  He never had a chance to be free; he was always married.  How do you know that Kane won't do the same thing?  Then where will you be?"

Kirsty ran out of the house, almost in tears. 

"Kirsty!" shouted Max.

"Leave me alone!" shouted Kirsty.  Her day had just gone from bad to worse.


	43. The Realisation

"Kirsty, what's wrong, what happened?" asked Kane as a slightly distressed Kirsty stepped in through the door.

"I need to be alone, " she said as she pushed past Kane.  "I just need to be alone."

Kane followed Kirsty upstairs, only stopping at a locked bathroom door.  It was just over an hour ago when she couldn't get enough of him.  "Why can't you tell me what happened?"  He took a deep breath.  "Is it Dani?"  

There was no answer.  After a long pause the door opened suddenly.  "My Mum said I couldn't trust you, " spat Kirsty.  "She thinks all men are the same, she thinks all men are like my father."

"What did he do?"

"He had an affair when my mother was pregnant.  I now have a brother."

"What?"  Kane was in disbelief.  "What?  You don't think I would do that?"  

"I don't know what to think."

"Kirsty listen, your mum speaks lies.  I am not like your father, and I could never do that to you.  I know you're angry, but you shouldn't take this out on me.  You know I love you?"

"Yes."

"And we're going to have this baby and be together forever.  That's if you're not too sick of me then."  

Kirsty laughed.  "I could never be sick of you."  She hugged Kane.  "But what can I do about my Mum?  She seems bitter.  And I now have a brother, it's just all so much to take in."

"I know."

"I don't think the family will ever accept me back into their lives.  Good thing I have a replacement."

The front door opened, with the familiar shuffle of Rose's feet on the mat.  There was now no chance of their romantic night in.

"Oh great, " said Kirsty.  "I'm sorry I ruined it for you."

"It's not your fault, I understand.  I'm a bit tired now anyway."

"Me too, " lied Kirsty.  As Kane drifted off too sleep, Kirsty lay awake thinking.  Could she ever forgive her father?  If she could forgive Kane for something that happened in the past, then surely she could forgive her father.  It didn't seem so easy though.  Perhaps he'd be too interested in his new son.  The son he never had.

***

Josh braced himself for a romantic night of passion.  He'd lit the candles, he'd cooked the oysters and the ring was ready.  All he needed was his future wife.  His late future wife.   Dani was supposed to be at The Palace over an hour ago.  He'd been looking forward to it all day.  He'd cleared Noah and Hayley out to a nightclub and finally got the place to himself.  There was a knock at the door.  Josh jumped up from the couch, expecting to see a beautifully dressed female, not the wild looking woman before him.

"Dani, what's wrong?  You haven't brushed your hair!"

"That's not important Josh, " Dani had been deliberating over whether to come.  She wanted to stay with her mother, but she needed to put Josh and his ego out of its misery.  "I've had some bad news."

"What's that then?"

"My parents are splitting up.  My Dad had an affair when my Mum was pregnant and now he has a son."

"You're kidding?  That is seriously whacked!"

"Josh could you try to be a little more sensitive?  Anyway, I don't think we should see each other anymore."

"What?  Oh I get it, because you're parents are splitting up, you think we should split up?  That makes sense."

"Oh could you try not to be so obnoxious?"  Dani frowned in disbelief.  "It made me realise that I don't want to be with you, or anyone right now.  What with all this stuff going on, I just need some space."

"You said that before.  With Kane.  I thought you'd dealt with him."

"Well maybe I haven't, what with him and Kirsty.   It's just too much."

"Fine then.  Dump me because of him if that's what you want to do."

"I thought this could have been more amicable!"  Dani stormed out leaving Josh upset.  He'd never been dumped, officially, like this before.  He liked to be in control.  Now because of Kane, his girlfriend had left him.  He couldn't have that.  He wanted his revenge.


	44. The Scan

Weeks had managed to pass by, without any further friction from the Sutherland clan.  Since Kirsty was somewhat detached from her family, her father's betrayal had seemed much less, and she took it that no further news was good news.  They had much more important things to worry about; they'd get to see their baby for the first time today.  Kane had taken the whole day off work especially.

"Are you sure you want to take the whole day off?" asked Kirsty.  "We do need the money."

"Not that much, I can work an extra shift next week, " said Kane.  "Plus, I need to check you're not making this baby up!"

"I am not making it up!  Feel this! " Kirsty rested Kane's hand on her stomach.  "Hmmm, but you have been eating a lot, you know, it has to go somewhere!"

"Oh thanks!"

Kirsty stretched back onto the sofa.  There was only three more hours until their appointment.  She'd probably have to finalise other details, about where she'd have her baby and procedures.  Kane had laughed at the prospect of a water birth, and even more at the thought of joining Kirsty in the pool.  Sometimes she wished she had a female to discuss this with.  Rose was slightly more forthcoming, but since she had no children of her own she was clueless.  Max wasn't particularly interested in giving birth, and Jade hadn't bothered to speak to her for a while.  Only her mother would understand.  Kirsty sighed as they eventually got into the car and started to drive.

"We'll have to start looking for flats soon, near that school. Do you think we have enough saved up?"

"Yeah, we should be able to rent.  Doubt we'll have any furniture though."

"I could always ask my parents, though they were saving for a college fund."

"You could still go to college after you get your HSC, " said Kane as he turned the corner.

"It won't be for ages, plus I'll have to spend time with the baby."  Kirsty gulped some more water. She was supposed to have a full bladder for the ultrasound.  "Maybe when he or she goes to school, I can start college.  That'll be strange."

"Yeah, " smiled Kane.  "He."  

They eventually reached the clinic, and entered arm-in-arm, Kirsty slightly jumpy and nervous and Kane wondering if he had a son.  Maybe he could start again; go against all the experiences he'd have and try to create something positive.

"Kirsty Philips?" called out a midwife.  "We'll see you now."

"Phillips?" said Kane as they went towards the radiographer's suite.  "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"I just felt like changing my name, " hinted Kirsty.

In the suite, Dr Hamlyn, who had a friendly air about her, greeted them.   She spoke for ages, asking Kirsty questions to her annoyance, since she was desperate for the toilet.  After some more tests, Kirsty finally lay down on the couch.

"Ok Kirsty, I'm just rubbing a special gel on your stomach to help us see the baby clearer.  If you look at the screen that's where your baby will be in a few moments."

"Cool, " said Kane.

"I'm going to pass this scanner over your stomach, " said the doctor.  After a few moments a strange black shape was seen on the screen; Kane couldn't make head nor tail of it.  

"Is that it?"

"Yes it is, " said Dr Hamlyn.  

"He does look a little strange."

"How can you tell it's a he?" exclaimed Kirsty.  "It's not is it?"

"Well, I don't like to say at first."  Kane smiled, while Kirsty scowled.  "If you look here, you can see the head moving and an arm."

The more Kane stared at the blob, the more he saw it.   This black blob was his baby; he created it.

"Wow, " said Kirsty.  "I can see it now, that's great."

"I can't wait to see it for real, " said Kane, tightly holding Kirsty's hand.  

***

That afternoon, the happy couple were glowing.  Kirsty kept looking at the photo, as if to remind herself that a baby was inside of her.  Kane wanted to look inside the envelope, containing the sex of their baby.  To sweeten Kirsty up, he decided to take her out for lunch.

"The diner?" exclaimed Kirsty as they pulled up.  "What if…?"

"We have every right to eat here, besides we're celebrating.  I might just let you order desert."

"How gentlemanly of you Kane Phillips!"

Kane opened the door for Kirsty, and gave her some money.

"Order whatever for me, I'm just going to the bathroom."

Kirsty smiled, and went to queue up.  There was no one she knew here, and someone unknown was serving her.  It was like they were eating somewhere else.  She ordered the daily special of spaghetti and meatballs and sat down, and to her surprise saw Max.

"Hiya, I haven't seen you in…"

"Can't stop, I'm meant to be somewhere else.  I saw Kane's car.  We're having a family meeting tomorrow.  It's important.  From six thirty onwards."

"I'll be there, " said Kirsty.  Max left, as Kane came back.

"Someone was in a hurry."

"He invited me for a family meeting.  Tomorrow."

"I take it I'm not invited?"

"He didn't say.  You could be."

"I doubt I am, they still hate me."

 "We come as a package now, I think you should go.  Considering we caused most of the problems, I think it's fair that we should all be there to talk about it."

Kane sighed.  "I'll come then."


	45. Dinner

After Kane shaved his stubble, he put on his best shirt, took it off to scowl at it, then put it back on again.  It wasn't as if he could impress his potential in-laws with a lousy shirt he bought before one of his few social occasions.   He had no idea what they might say to him, he wasn't even sure if he was supposed to go.

"Kane?"  Kirsty knocked on the bathroom door.  "Can you stop hogging the bathroom?  We're going to be late."

"Yeah, yeah, " he said nonchalantly as he smoothed his hair.  It needed cutting.

"Have you got the scan photos?  And the wine?"

"Wine?  Do you want your parents to think we live like alcoholics?"

"I thought it might be nice to bring something, " Kirsty rested her head against the door.  "To keep the peace."  

"Somehow, I don't think getting your entire family drunk will help."  Kane opened the door, with Kirsty falling into his chest.  He planted soft kisses on her forehead.

"Stop, " said Kirsty puling away.  "We've got no time for that; we have to leave now."

"Great, I wonder what's for dinner?"

***

He saw them pull up.  He'd been waiting for their car for hours.  Kirsty got out of the car, planted a kiss on _his_ cheek, and they walked up the drive.  When he was sure they'd gone, Josh crawled out of the bushes.  He had to do this quickly if his plan was going to work out.  He ran up to the bonnet of the car, opened it, and started to fiddle with it.  He'd get what he deserved for breaking him and Dani up.  

***

Dani heard the door knock.  It must be Kirsty.  She hadn't seen her for a while, and although she was angry with her, she missed her.  

"Jade, do you want to open it?" she asked.  Jade obliged without a word.   Her face grew even more astounded when she saw Kane.  She was silent.  Dani got up, and opened her mouth to greet her sister, when she realised who she saw.  In her house.  Where it happened.  

"What… " croaked Dani, "Is he doing here?"

"Don't be silly, you invited us, " said Kirsty.

"Us?  I invited you, didn't Max make it clear?"  

"Obviously not, " thought Kane, wanting the ground to swallow him up.  

Dani paced around the room, trying to block him from her mind.  She couldn't call for her father.  She couldn't speak.

"We could just go, " whispered Kane.

"No, this needs to be sorted out now, " said Kirsty.  "Dani, maybe I misunderstood, but we're here now.  Can we at least talk?"

"Not… with him… in the house."  Dani ran outside.

"Now look what you've done, " screeched Jade.  "You're so selfish."

"What's going on?" Rhys entered the room, hearing commotion.  He saw Kane.  Under his roof.   He spoke slowly, yet with increasing venom.  "What do you think you are doing here?"

Kane didn't know whether to answer or not.  Thankfully, Kirsty did for him.

"We were under the impression we were invited for dinner."

"Doesn't he speak for himself?" retorted Jade.  "Now is he ashamed."

"Oh shut up Jade for a minute. We only came because we thought we were invited, can we please just talk?"

Rhys threw his head in his hands.  "I think it'd be best if you went Kane."

"He's not going anywhere.  I'll try and find Dani."

"I doubt she wants to see you, " said a huffy Jade. 

"Well I'm going."  Kirsty ran outside, and saw a figure sitting down by a bush, curled into a ball.  "Dani…"

Her head spun round.  "You again."

"Look, I'm sorry.  I thought he was invited, I just…"

"You just what?  You just thought he could come here, like when you just fell in love with him.  Like he just raped me."

"I know…"

"I don't know how you can even look at him, let alone touch him.  It makes me feel physically sick."  The strain in Dani's face was visible.  "Sometimes I think you forget."

"I haven't and I never will.  There's a part of me which will always hate him for what he did to you, always."

"So how can you love him?"

"Because he's changed."

"So you say."

Kirsty sighed and sat down next to Dani.  "I can't really explain it myself.  He's like a different person."

"No he isn't!  He's still the same person!"

"I know that, he's different and yet the same, I know it's strange but I just love him.  We've bonded and gone through so much, my hate for him is eclipsed by love."

A long pause followed.  "Well I can't accept that."  Dani got up, and walked towards the road, then disappeared.  Kirsty sat and stared into the darkness for a while, then a loud noise woke her up from her trance.  She darted towards the house.  Kane had blood running down his face.

"Kane!"  She ran to his side.

"I'm sorry Kirsty, but I just lost my temper, " said Kane.

"Now get out of my house, " shouted Rhys.  "Both of you."

Kirsty left her old house in tears, leaning on Kane for support.  Kane was fuming.  He angrily got into his car; his movement's harsh and erratic.  He just lashed out at Rhys, and was sent down to earth with a bump.  He was so sick of everyone talking about him like he wasn't there; he couldn't block it out any longer.  Kirsty sobbed silently, and Kane started the car, zooming down the roads.  He let himself go, he was free.  He saw the meter going up, higher and higher, giving him a release.  Kirsty looked ahead.

"Kane, you're going too fast, we're going to hit…"  The breaks were useless; it was too late.  They smashed into another car, just behind the bend, and were knocked unconscious.  


	46. Pain

Dani watched their car leave, after a while.  She was safe now.  She stood there, on the grass for a few moments, contemplating what to do next, contemplating how to feel.  Her life was ruined.  There was a loud rustle in the bushes, which made Dani jump.  

"Who's there?"  

There was no answer.  She moved towards the sound.  He couldn't still be here, could he?  Waiting for her.  Her heart beat faster in her panic. 

"Kane?"

There was still no answer.  She took a deep breath.

"Kane please come out now.  I'm not scared."  A figure slowly came out from behind the bush.  It couldn't be Kane, could it?  Her eyes were playing tricks on her.

"Hello Dani."  Josh's voice.

"Josh?" His face hit the moonlight.  "What are you doing outside my house?"

"Just waiting."

"Waiting?  Waiting for what?"

"For that creep to leave, " he said smugly.  "In his car."

Dani looked down, to regain composure.  She noticed he had a toolbox in his hand.  "But why do you care so much?"

"Because I still love you, and I want that creep to get what's coming to him."

"As if.  He's already got my sister."

"She didn't come home?  To stay?"  Josh was beginning to freak out.  "I thought you were going to make her stay?  Jade told me so, I thought Kane was only giving her a lift?"

"Why do you care what my sister does?"

"Because I…, I did something.  I've got to go, I've got to leave."

"Wait!"  Dani was left confused, as Josh raced off into the darkness.

***

The monitor beeped again.   Nurse Kay was annoyed; she was near the end of her shift when two teenagers were brought in.  A car collision.  The girl was pregnant, and in a critical condition.  The seatbelt in their old car wasn't on properly; the bump made sure of that.  Complete with dodgy front locks, she was thrown through the passenger door, luckily with a hedge breaking her fall.  She might have been dead otherwise.  The boy she was with was fine.  Not even a scratch.

"Have you contacted her next of kin?" she asked a nearby doctor.

"No, not yet.  I understand that she's Kirsty Sutherland and 16 weeks pregnant."

"Is the baby OK?"

"It's hard to say.  We shall have to administer an emergency caesarean.  I don't think it's safe to leave the baby inside her."

"Surely it can't survive?"

"Stranger things have happened." 

Elsewhere in the hospital, Kane woke up.  His mind was hazy.  He felt the side of his face; the bruise Rhys gave him was still there.  Then it all came back to him.  The car was out of control, the brakes didn't work, Kirsty's seatbelt setting her free, past him, out the door.  All his fault.

"Kirsty!" he shouted.  "Where are you?"

"Shhhhh, calm down, " said a calm female voice.  "How are you feeling Kane?"

"I'm fine, I am, but where is Kirsty?  What's happened to her?"

"She's going into theatre as we speak."

"Will the baby be OK?"

"It's hard to say.  The chances of survival are slim at the moment."

Kane felt sick.  Because of his recklessness, he'd killed their baby, and almost killed his girlfriend.  He looked out of the window.  It was morning.  He would bet his life that her family would be here soon, blaming him for everything, and then Kirsty would wake up and dump him, ruining everything.  There would be no point in living.

"Kane, the police will be here soon.  They'll need you to make a statement.  The man driving the other car wasn't injured, but he was over the drink driving limit."

"It's still my fault."   

Kane sank into his bed.  He couldn't face the world now.  

***

A sharp pain hit Kirsty's head as she woke up.  Her vision was blurred, all she could see was white.  She tried to move but couldn't feel her legs.  She was numb.  

"Kane, are you there?"

"Kirsty!"  It was her father's voice.

"Dad?  What's going on, where am I?"  Her mind was blank.  One minute they were going home the next she was here.

Rhys took a deep breath.  Where could he start?  Ever since he'd gotten the call, his life had gone from bad to worse.  The baby was dead, due to extensive internal injury.  Ever since he'd found out his daughter was pregnant, he'd resented the baby, but now he felt the pain of losing it.  

"Kirsty!"  Dani ran towards her sister, almost dropping the cup of coffee she was holding.  

"Easy Dan, " said Rhys.  

There were tears in Dani's eyes.  "How are you feeling?" She whispered to Rhys, "Does she know?"

Rhys shook his head and sat down.  

"I don't get this, " said Kirsty.  "What happened?"

"I don't know if it's best to tell you now."

"You can't keep this from her!" Dani exclaimed.  "I know what it's like to have things kept from me, it isn't nice."

"But Dani, she's in no fit state to hear this, she's just recovered from the anaesthetic."

"What anaesthetic?  Have I been in an accident?"

"Yes, " Rhys took a deep breath.  "Kane was driving you home and for whatever reason the brakes failed.  Your belt wasn't on properly and you fell out of one of the front doors."

Kirsty tried to take it in.  "Then what?"

"The baby took the fall badly.  I'm afraid it's…" Rhys tried to compose himself.  "You've miscarried."

Kirsty felt hazy again.  Surely it was all a dream; even a dream within a dream.  She'd wake up properly any minute now. 

A faint voice, "I knew we should have waited.  She's dozing off again."

Dani was hardly listening.  She went over the facts again.  Kane's car was unsafe, his reckless driving caused the accident; but how did Josh fit in?  He looked so shifty outside the house, with his toolbox, what had he said, 'I want that creep to get what's coming to him.'  Then he got scared and ran away.  Surely Josh hadn't sabotaged the car?  Surely he wouldn't try to get Kane and his sister killed?

"Dad, where are the police? I need to speak to them."

"Why?"

"I know how Kane's car got sabotaged.  It was Josh."


	47. Trying to cope

Josh heaved two heavy suitcases into his plush red sports car.  He needed to get out of town.  He had only wanted to teach Kane a lesson, not Kirsty.  Josh took a deep breath.  Why was he panicking?  He couldn't be sure anything had even happened yet.  He collapsed onto the grass, checking his phone for voicemail messages.  There were none.  All was well.  He got into his car, checked his hair in the mirror and was about to drive off when he saw a car approach him.  Two policemen got out.  He was blocked.  

Josh let his tinted windows down.  "Yes?"

"Are you Josh West?"

"I am indeed."

"Could you please step out of the vehicle?"   

"Not before you tell me what this is about."

The policeman frowned.  "Josh West, I am arresting you on the suspicion of the attempted murder of Kane Phillips and Kirsty Sutherland.  You do not have to say anything in your defence, but anything you do say may be given in evidence…"

"What?" exclaimed Josh. "I didn't do it."

"We have reasonable evidence from Dani Sutherland, and your fingerprints were found inside the bonnet of the car, owned by Kane Phillips."

Josh hung his head low in shame.  He'd ruined his life; in the short time it'd taken him to cut the break cables.  What would people think of him now?

***

Kirsty could now manage getting out of her hospital bed, and visiting the nearby bathroom.  At least now she wouldn't have to cry in public.  She felt empty inside.  The baby who changed her past, present and future was dead; that was all she could think about, all day and all night.  Her primary source of happiness was gone.  Kirsty didn't even know if her baby was male or female.    

Kane finally plucked up the courage to visit Kirsty.  He'd been discharged the previous day, and after the long walk home, he'd found out that Josh had been arrested for sabotaging the brakes on his car.  Although he had a credible source of blame, he couldn't help still feeling like it was his entire fault.  He had to explain to Kirsty; make her see that he loved her and would die without her.  He approached her ward, seeing her bed surrounded by flowers and cards.  It brought back memories of the boat accident, where he'd had no visitors except Kirsty.  How the tables had turned.

"Kane!"  Kirsty stumbled out of bed, almost tripping over.  They hugged.  "Are you here to take me home?"

"I thought you wouldn't want to see me anymore after the crash."

"I know it wasn't your fault Kane.  You'd never do anything to hurt me."  They both sat down on the bed.  

"So how do you feel?"

"Hollow.  Empty."  Kirsty fought back tears.  "I don't know what to live for anymore, Kane.  That baby was keeping me alive, it needed me."

"I need you too.  We're going to need each other even more now."

Kirsty nodded.  "They said I could come home soon.  They've offered me counselling but I think I might go to Flynn."

"That's a good idea."  Flynn was a nice guy, thought Kane, even though he sometimes said things he didn't want to hear.  

Footsteps approached the bed.  It was the nurse with some visitors.  Family visitors.

"Kirsty, " said Jade, trying not to wince at Kane.  She was here to offer support.

Dani tensed.  "How are you doing?"  

"Fine, " said Kirsty.

"Dad's just coming."

There was an awkward silence.  Kane got up.

"I'm just going to get some food.  Want anything?"

Kirsty shook her head.  As soon as Kane left, Jade let rip.

"So he's back again?  After what he did?"

"It wasn't his fault Jade, Josh sabotaged the car."

"Yeah, but if Kane could control his driving, then perhaps you'd still be…"

"Be what?  Jade?  Say it.  You could never accept it when I was pregnant.  None of you could."

"That's not true Kirsty, " said Dani. 

"Tell me that you wanted me to have the baby.  Tell me that you were 100% happy about it."

"I, I can't."

"Well you got what you wanted then."

Rhys appeared with a cup of coffee in his hand.  "Kirsty, how are you feeling?"

"Oh, don't act like you're so sad as well.  You never wanted me to have a baby." 

"Kirsty, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, " he said emotionally.  "I love you Kirst, no matter what."

Kane took this moment to come back.  Rhys stared at him for a moment, then turned to his daughter.  "I'd like it if you came home to us, when you get discharged."

"I can't.  My life is with Kane now.  We need to deal with this together."

"Well, " said Rhys, "When you are ready, there is always a place at home with us.  Your family."  They left soon after, growing tired of the silence.  Kirsty knew that she shouldn't be angry with them, but she had to take it out on someone.  She felt like lashing out, hitting whatever she could; breaking things and causing destruction, just like Josh.  It wasn't fair.  In her frustration, she burst into tears, and sobbed into Kane's chest.

"Kane, I think we need counselling.  I don't want to feel like this anymore."  


	48. Talking it out

The time passed quickly.  Kirsty had been out of hospital for a week now, and was already waiting to have her first counselling session with Flynn.  She didn't know if she could function properly, let alone be understood.  She couldn't even think about babies without crying, or look at the scan photos without breaking down.  She was feeling much like a ghost now, a shadow of her former self.  So much had changed in the space of seven months; their relationship had been pushed to the extremes.  It was unreal.  

Flynn had invited Kirsty and Kane to his own home, to make them feel a bit more relaxed.  He hadn't approved of the relationship from the start, but now, after recent events, he realised life was too short.  They obviously had something strong, which many people couldn't understand.  

"Are you going to be okay at school Sal?" asked Flynn.  "They might feel more open with just the three of us."

"Works for me, " said Sally.  "I'll see you later."  She kissed her husband on the cheek."  As Sally opened the door, she was shocked to see Kirsty and Kane nervously standing outside. 

"Gidday."  Sally smiled compassionately.  "How are you?" 

"You know, " replied Kirsty.  "A bit all over the place."

"Well I hope you and Flynn can work things out."  Sally left, leaving Kane feeling slightly awkward.   He hoped Flynn wouldn't judge him.  

"Sit down, make yourselves at home, " said Flynn.  "Can I get you anything, a cup of tea or coffee?"

"Just water."  Kirsty sat down on the larger sofa, Kane followed.  They instinctively locked hands.  She wasn't sure if the counselling would make her feel better, but she'd give it her best shot.

Flynn returned with a jug of water.  "Now I understand what you must be going through, and I expect you to still be in a state of shock after what's happened.  I hope through this session, and through any other sessions we might have, we can talk through your feelings and fears and anxieties.  I'm not promising instant results, but I hope we can work through this experience.  How are you feeling Kane?"  

"Pretty lousy."  Kane took a deep breath.  He found it hard to open up, but he knew he needed to.  "I just feel like everything is all my fault, if I hadn't got so angry and crashed, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"None of this is your fault Kane, you know that, " began Kirsty.  "I don't blame you."

"I know you don't, but I still do.  I feel like I always mess things up.  With Dani, with you, with our baby.  All my life I've messed things up."  

"That's like me Kane!  Before I met you I'd taken drugs, quit school not to mention turned into a monster.  I've always messed things up."

Flynn stayed silent.   The conversation didn't need him; finally he'd given Kirsty and Kane an outlet to talk.  

"The one thing we haven't messed up is our relationship.  This wasn't our fault."

"If I hadn't assaulted Dani, then Josh wouldn't have hated me so much and got his revenge, " said Kane.  This was one of the first times he'd openly admitted what he'd done.  It felt wrong to say the words, but at least he was finally being honest with himself.  

"The whole world is full of what ifs.  What's done is done; we have to live with it.  It's not your fault, I just hope you can realise that."

"How do you feel about your family Kirsty?"  Flynn entered the conversation again.

"I really don't know.  I still love them but feel like they wanted this to happen.  Like they can finally rest because they've got what they wanted, and I'm not carrying his child."

"I'm sure they don't think that way."

"I can't help how I feel.  They never wanted me to have a baby, and they never wanted me to be with Kane."  Kirsty was almost crying.  Did she even believe what she was saying, or was she just angry?  Perhaps she just needed someone to lash out against. 

"I don't deny that they didn't approve of the relationship, but I know they're hurting just as much as you are."

"I don't feel that.  I just feel like now I've lost the reason to be with Kane, they'll try and talk me out of seeing him again, and that just won't happen."  Tears streamed down Kirsty's face.  "I'm sorry, I just really wanted the baby.  It cemented us, you know, made us stronger.  I even had a name.  Brooke."

"Really?" Kane was surprised.  He'd always liked the name Brooke.  It was the name of his mother, who died years ago.

"Yes, " sobbed Kirsty.  "I found out it was a girl."

"We could always carry on another time, if it's too much for you now, " said Flynn.  "I was also wondering if we could invite your family along, a mediation to talk about how you all really feel about each other.  I think you'll be surprised."

"I think that's a good idea, " said Kane.

"Me too, " sobbed Kirsty.  


	49. The Final Mediation

Dani scraped back her long black hair into a ponytail.  Her face was bare.  She had the same feeling in her stomach the last time she knew she was going to see him; but this was different.  She would try to make her peace.  She had to.

Rhys waited patiently for his family to come downstairs.  Their mediation session was at midday, but he wanted to talk to them first, or at least what was left of them.  Shelley had left him, after Kirsty's recovery, and moved in with her new lawyer boyfriend in Sydney.  Only Jade, Max and Dani would be joining him today.  .

"Morning Dad."  Jade was ready.

"Morning Jade."    There was a slight pause.  What could they say?  They were pleased they would see Kirsty again, yet angry because Kane would be there.  Rhys only wanted Kirsty to come home now.  

"How's Dani?"

"She's okay, she's almost ready."

"Good.  And Max?"

"Brushing his teeth as we speak.  Dad are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, you know how it is.  I'll be civil for Kirsty's sake.  You never know.  There might be one more at the table tonight."

"I hope so."  

Dani entered the room silently.  She forged a smile.  "Max is just coming."

"Good.  Well let's get this show on the road.  Max, we'll be waiting in the car!" shouted Rhys.  "Don't forget to lock up!"

The Sutherlands descended into their old car, still not saying a word, but little did they know that was about to change.  Soon their real emotions would show.

***

The Drop in Centre was quiet before the storm.  Flynn wiped the tables yet again, and changed the water of the tulips.  He doubted it would make a difference to anything, but there was no harm in trying.  Kirsty and Kane were bang on time, with Kane wearing smart trousers and a shirt, and Kirsty wearing one of her few dresses.  

"Hi Flynn, " said Kirsty.  "I just want to say thanks for letting us do this.  I hope it works out."

"I'm here if you ever need me Kirsty, as a doctor and a friend.  You too Kane."

Kane smiled. He didn't have too many friends around here.  They sat down and began to wait.  Kane wasn't used to looking so smart, and was dying to change into his legendary t-shirt and shorts.  He was only dressed like this for Kirsty's sake.  As if clothes would make a difference.  

The sound of feet approaching broke the silence.  The Sutherlands were here.  Kirsty got up.  She wasn't sure whether to hug them or cry, or both.  She finally managed a quiet 'Hello."

Rhys nodded.  "Hello Kirsty.  Kane."    

Flynn was ready to mediate.  "Please, take a seat."  Dani took the seat as far away from Kane as she could, and Max was opposite.  Jade sat on the other side of Kirsty, and managed a slight smile.  "I'm glad you could all make it."  Rhys shot a look at Kane.  "Now, I know how you must all be feeling at the moment, and some of you haven't communicated for a while.  I hope we can listen to what each other has to say, and work out some of the issues.  I only ask that you be patient while everyone speaks."

"Fine by me, " said Rhys.  "Kirsty, I just want to make it clear.  We never wanted your baby to die; I wouldn't wish that on anyone, least of all my own daughter.  I know my actions weren't thought through, and I regret pushing you away.  You know I never want to see you hurt."

"I think I knew that.  I think I was just looking for someone to blame, " said Kirsty.  "I'm sorry I shouted at all of you."

"I'm sorry too Kirsty, I should have been honest.  I was looking forward to becoming a grandparent, " said Rhys, faltering.  "And I shouldn't have blamed you for the demise of my marriage.  That's my own fault."

Kane still hadn't spoken yet.  They were still skirting round the real issue.  He gripped Kirsty's hand.  Dani winced.  

Flynn picked up on Kane's isolation.  "Kane, would you like to say something?"

"Okay."  Kane took a deep breath.  "I don't really know where to start.  I know how you feel about me, and I don't blame you for that.  You still think I'm the same person I was years ago.  I'm not.  Kirsty has helped me to change in more ways than you can imagine.  We all know that's the real issue here; that I love Kirsty."

"That is not the issue, " said Dani, pained.  "The issue is what you did to me, and how you behaved afterwards; how you made me feel and how my sister seems to have forgotten this."

"I haven't forgotten!" exclaimed Kirsty.  

"Well how can you touch him?  You say he's different, but he'll always be the same person to me, always.  I'm sorry Kirsty, but I don't see it.  He said he was sorry, and that he understood he was wrong, but that doesn't ever make the pain go away. "  Dani began to cry.  "You see what he does to me?"

"I…I didn't mean to, " said Kane.  

"Of course you didn't, " cried Dani.  "Poor Kane the victim!"

"He's not condoning his actions, " said an emotional Kirsty.  "He was messed up then. His brother planted all these ideas in his head, and made him do all these things he didn't want to."

"So that gave him the excuse to take what he can't have?"

"No!"  Kirsty was growing frustrated.  "Dani you have to move on.  People can change.  I've changed.  I used to take drugs.  Now I don't.  Jade used to have bulimia.  Now she doesn't.  We've all changed, just like Kane.  He can't be bad forever."

Dani sighed.  She knew Kirsty had a point, yet still knew she could never have remotely platonic feelings about Kane.  It just wouldn't work.  "I keep trying to move on, but every time I try, I become the same person I was two years ago; frozen and helpless.  Just when I think I'm stronger, I see him and I'm weak."

Kane shuffled awkwardly in his seat.  Never had he felt so ashamed; He had the Sutherlands glaring at him from all angles.  Only the warmth of Kirsty's hand holding his made it better.

"I don't see how this will work Dani if you can't move on from the past, " said Kirsty, wiping her eyes.  "I wanted to talk about the future, I wanted to repair our relationship."

"No matter how I feel about Kane, I had no hatred towards the baby.  I didn't want it to die, and I'm equally sad, " said Dani. 

 "Me too, " said Jade, chipping in.  "It made me realise how short life is.  We can't be angry forever; it's just a waste of life.  No matter how I feel about the situation Kirst, I'll always love you, you know that, and I know I haven't been the best sister to you over this time.  I wish I hadn't been so obnoxious."    

"It was understandable, " smiled Kirsty.

"I hope we never fight again, well at least not like this."

Dani and Rhys were still silent.  They wouldn't forgive so easily.  Kane still felt awkward.  He wasn't part of this family moment.

"So, " said Flynn.  "What happens now?"

"I really don't know, " said Rhys.  "I would love it Kirsty, if you came back home with us."  Kirsty shot a worried look at Kane.  "It's your decision, but we could gradually work this out between ourselves.  You could go back to school, and see Kane at weekends.  Living together can be pretty intense."

"I know Dad, but I don't want anything to come between us."

"Nothing can, " said Kane.  "I think it's a good idea.  I can't be your family; you need to be with them.  We can still see each other."

"As long as you don't come to the house."

"I won't, " promised Kane.  "We'd better get your stuff Kirsty."

"I'll pick her up later."  Rhys didn't want Kane near the house at the moment, plus he didn't have a car.

"Kane, do you want to go for a walk?  We have some things to discuss."  Kane obliged, and after Kirsty uneasily hugged her family, they made their way towards the nearby beach.  

"Wow, " said Kirsty.  "How do you think that went?"

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it could be.  I still have both arms and legs which is good."

"I wouldn't have let Dad hurt you.  Are you gonna miss me when I go back home?"

"Yeah, I suppose.  I mean I'll have the bathroom back, more food and stuff like that, but I think it's best you go back home.  I'd be selfish to keep you all to myself.  Plus I don't want you to be pushed away from your family.  The sooner you make up with them, the sooner they might accept us, " said Kane as they walked.  "I hardly think we'll get to the family barbeques stage."

"That doesn't matter.  It might be better this way.  We can go on dates, have late night phone calls; they say absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Kane smiled.  "I'm sure it will."

"I'll miss living with you though.  We've been through so much, on the run and here.  I feel like we've been living together forever."

"I'll miss you too, but we'll still see each other.  I'm only a bus ride away."

"Yeah but it won't be the same, " Kirsty stopped walking.  "I want to make sure we still stay strong.  Kane, will you marry me?"

Kane had never felt so stunned in his life.  Kirsty had taken him completely by surprise.  He's always intended to propose to her, but never got round to it.  "Aren't I supposed to ask that?"

"It's the 21st century Kane!  Do I get an answer anytime soon?"

"Yeah.  I'll marry you."

"Great!"  Kirsty had butterflies in her stomach.  "No prizes for guessing how my family will take this."

"Doesn't matter, " said Kane.  "All that matters is us.  How about sealing our engagement with a kiss?"

Kirsty smiled, and the newly engaged couple kissed, ready to take the world on with their love. 

Chapter 50 will follow…


	50. Epilogue

Ten Years Later…

Mrs Phillips was excited.  She had something important to tell Kane when she got home.  The news they'd been hoping for.  She'd just got back from the doctors in her lunch break and he had confirmed she was twelve weeks pregnant.  She knew the feeling she had ten years ago.  It felt great.  Of course her parents would be happy, despite who the father was; Jade hadn't been able to keep a steady boyfriend, and Dani was happy enough in her journalism career.  As she got onto the new Yabbie Creek tramlink, Kirsty stroked her diamond-studded wedding ring.  After she finished uni, and Kane his TAFE course, they took a gap year and travelled around the world.  After visiting Thailand, India, Paris, and London, they headed for Las Vegas, and after a few too many glasses of bubbly, decided to get married in a kitsch 24-hour wedding chapel.  (That took care of the wedding/family difficulties).  The pictures still made her laugh, Kane in his Hawaiian shirt with an Elvis wig and Kirsty in a white mini-dress with angel wings.  She wouldn't have had it any other way.  When they arrived home, they still had a party, though she caught her sisters looking slightly uncomfortable.    

"You look happy, " said an elderly man opposite her.  "Like the cat who's got the cream."

"Well, I suppose I have, " said Kirsty.  "I'm pregnant."

"Congratulations.  I suppose you're off to tell the lucky father?"

"Yeah, as soon as he gets home from work."   The tram stopped at Yabbie Creek Station.  "This is my stop.  Nice talking to you."  The school was only a short walk away.  Kirsty was a teacher of P.E and English at Yabbie Creek High, and was soon to be promoted to Head of English.  It was a nice school, full of new faces, which was good.  To stay on teaching at Summer Bay High would seem like forever going backwards.   

***

Kane was home early from work; he wanted to cook Kirsty a special meal.  She deserved it.  She had been a bit stressed lately, with an increased workload and still learning to drive, yet had still managed to get a delicious dinner on the table every night.  She was the best wife ever.  They had been married for eight years now, with many more in the future.  Sure, it hadn't been easy; Rhys wasn't exactly brimming with fatherly love but they had still managed to survive.    Jade was beginning to warm to him, and he had managed a completely civil conversation with Dani about tarmac.  It wasn't much but it was a start.

Kane threw some peppers into the wok, sending them into an instant sizzle.  He thought of himself as an adequate chef nowadays, after picking up some tips of a friend at work.  He part-owned and worked in a small boating workshop, and it was really beginning to take off.  Perhaps he hadn't seen Kirsty as often as he'd liked, maybe she was feeling neglected.  This evening would give them a chance to talk more than anything, and maybe he'd get a kiss if he were lucky. 

***

Kirsty put her key in the lock, and began to creep into the house.   They didn't live with Rosemary any more, and had been saving up for years before they could afford to buy a house.  It was in central Yabbie Creek, near to the nightlife and a short distance from the marina, where Kane worked.  They were still in the process of decorating, which meant that Kirsty had to creep over several tins of paint.  She approached Kane, humming to himself in the kitchen, and covered his eyes with her hands.

"Guess who?"

"Hmmmm.  Could it be Kirsty Phillips?"

"Damn, " Kirsty removed her hands.  "You're so good at this game.  What you making?"

"Stir-fry.  It was meant to be a surprise."

"Never mind, anyway, I have a surprise for you.  A big surprise."

Kane turned off the stove, and turned to look at Kirsty.  "I'm listening."

"Well, you may have noticed I've been a bit tired and moody lately.  There's a good reason for that.  I'm pregnant."

"Really?  Wow!"  Kane's reaction couldn't be more different compared with the last time Kirsty was pregnant.  "When's it due?"

"Near Christmas!  Isn't that great?"

"Fantastic."  They hugged.  

"I'm so excited Kane.  Our own family, a little baby Phillips."

"The start of many more, I hope."  Kane had always wanted a big family; loads of kids running around the house.  The kind of childhood he never had.

"My parents will be delighted, their first grandchild.  We'll have to go round and tell them."

"Great, " Kane said flatly. 

"Don't worry about them, " said Kirsty.  "They knew it was going to happen again soon enough.  Anyway, as long as we love each other, no one can touch us."

 "It's worked well so far, hasn't it?"

The wok fiercely began to spit oil.  "I think dinners burning Kane!"  

They swiftly broke apart.  Kane attended to the dinner.  "Man, I was distracted, it's ruined!"  He wasn't joking.  The peppers were black and the chicken didn't look too appetising.

"Never mind.  Guess it's take-out tonight.  Anyway, I'd rather be doing other things than watch you cook."

Kane smiled.  "I'll order the pizza."

As Kane ran towards the phone, Kirsty thought again how lucky she was; how fate had worked out for her.  It was amazing what fate could do, make or break a relationship, completely change a life.  Fate had played to their advantage, and Kirsty couldn't imagine a life better than this one.  Their existence would be together, forever.

THE END

Authors note: Well I hope you enjoyed that trip to the future, a la Alf Stewart!  I'd like to thank my dedicated reviewers for reviewing my first ever fanfic, and I hope you carry on reviewing with its twin 'Tails…' It will be surprising, and I hope you warm to Brooke and anything she might do.  Expect it to take another 7 months like this one has!  


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